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Formal D/s dinner - 11/6/2006 5:35:16 PM

damia

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i have found nothing on the boards about this subject...maybe it's a first? If anyone can point me to discussions on it, wonderful. But here are my questions:

Has anyone participated or hosted a formal D/s dinner, similar or as described to the one written about in this article? i read the article, and confess i am quite interested in it. i love the idea of celebrating the Masters/Mistresses in such an elegant way, and as a submissive who loves to serve, i would love to serve at such a dinner.

my second question is, has anyone done a formal dinner of this type as a private affair? For example, i have become friends with a Dom over time, and we are beginning to progress into a D/s relationship. If everything works out and we enter into a D/s relationship, i would love to do a formal dinner such as this after the contract is finished and signed, as a celebration and appreciation of Him as Master and friend. How might such a dinner defer from the formal dinner described in the article, other than the fact that there is only one being served (or perhaps there would be more, if He so chooses...)? Other than any particular preferences He might have, what might be changed when there is such a specific celebration in mind?

i thank all who read this message, and look forward to any and all commentary, advice, and opinions provided.

damia the Kat

[edited to add a link to the article. Oops! http://www.sensuoussadie.com/articles/dovebdsmdinner.htm]

< Message edited by damia -- 11/6/2006 5:36:02 PM >

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RE: Formal D/s dinner - 11/6/2006 5:39:04 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_418155/mpage_1/key_dinner/tm.htm#418164
Former dinner rules

http://www.collarchat.com/m_346111/mpage_1/key_dinner%252Cprotocol/tm.htm#346111
High Protocol Dinner

It completely depends on what dinner you want, other than the standard vanilla protocols, there's nothing to go on but what you want. So as the host, you have to decide and communicate to your guests what they should expect and be prepared for.

Will servants be allowed to eat with guests or not? What is the dress code? How many guests? Courses? There's a difference between "fine dining" and "high kink protocol" and while the two can easily be meshed, it needs to be clarified exactly what the expectations will be.

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RE: Formal D/s dinner - 11/6/2006 5:47:17 PM

damia

Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
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Thank You! Somehow i missed these two threads, and i am very grateful for people like You who know how to use the search engine on this site a lot better than i. The two threads You gave links to appear to have a lot of great information and advice, and i only just skimmed them. i'll definitely be reading over them closely.

i think i'll start with vanilla formal dinner etiquette, though i do know some of that from serving at some of my aunt and uncle's formal dinner parties.

Thank You,
damia the Kat

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RE: Formal D/s dinner - 11/6/2006 5:57:38 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

i have found nothing on the boards about this subject...maybe it's a first? If anyone can point me to discussions on it, wonderful. But here are my questions:

Has anyone participated or hosted a formal D/s dinner, similar or as described to the one written about in this article? i read the article, and confess i am quite interested in it. i love the idea of celebrating the Masters/Mistresses in such an elegant way, and as a submissive who loves to serve, i would love to serve at such a dinner.

my second question is, has anyone done a formal dinner of this type as a private affair? For example, i have become friends with a Dom over time, and we are beginning to progress into a D/s relationship. If everything works out and we enter into a D/s relationship, i would love to do a formal dinner such as this after the contract is finished and signed, as a celebration and appreciation of Him as Master and friend. How might such a dinner defer from the formal dinner described in the article, other than the fact that there is only one being served (or perhaps there would be more, if He so chooses...)? Other than any particular preferences He might have, what might be changed when there is such a specific celebration in mind?

i thank all who read this message, and look forward to any and all commentary, advice, and opinions provided.

damia the Kat

[edited to add a link to the article. Oops! http://www.sensuoussadie.com/articles/dovebdsmdinner.htm]

Well I am doing service oriented events (Called Sumptuous Service: www.wildfleurs.com/sumptuous ) but I can't quite say in reading that website that what I've done so far (a service/ds oriented wine tasting... and a formal dinner planned for the fall of 2007) is similar to what that website outlines.

My thing is more on experiences/events where the servant provides service for everyone (rather than just for their dominant) which is non-sexual and not about bonding with ones dominant, but about being of use and really providing service with a team of other people for a group of people. Most of what I try to do is a bit more formal upstairs/downstairs division sort of thing where the servants don't get fed by the guests, or eat out of guests hands, or kneel at particular guests feet ... because well that would interrupt the flow of service and quality if they just hyper focused on one person.

The website sounds more like a semi-play/kink dinner rather than a formal service dining experience. I don't think thats a bad thing, but I think its important to be clear (for instance a lot of her dining ettiquete is not what would be standard at any formal dinner, but I suppose if you were doing a kink non-formal dinner it could be used).

Either way I'm all for people taking existing paradigms and adjusting them as they see fit. But I think to use the term formal dining means that you start with the pretty standard non-BDSM formal dining ettiquete/standards for servers and then build on that foundation.

In terms of resources, I do have a (in need of updating by the end of the year) section on formal dining on my "Service with a Smile" website, at:

http://www.wildfleurs.com/service/dining.html

I'd also suggest the butlers guild section of their site at:

http://www.butlersguild.com/index.php?subject=89&nm=The%20Formal%20Dinner

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 11/6/2006 6:02:18 PM >

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RE: Formal D/s dinner - 11/6/2006 6:41:45 PM

aurora31

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I recently attended an event for the chat rooms in my area where they held a class on a protocol luncheon then followed by the actual lunch. Each sub/slave served her own Dom/Master. Those who were single were paired off for the purpose of the lunch. The table was set in the traditional manner. The sub/slaves then served each coarse to their Dom/Master making sure that the empty plates were removed and the beverage was kept full. when not directly attending to their Dom/Master they stood to the side of the table unless they had a different established protocol. At the end of the Meal after the Dom/Masters were done then the sub/slave got to serve them selves and eat.

It was a very enlightening experience for me and very fulfilling to serve in that way. Many of the Dom/Masters related that it was very hard for them to let their sub/slaves do things for them. That it took a conscious effort to allow the sub/slave to refill their drink and such. And the sub/slaves said it was hard to remember to watch their Dom/Master and to attend to him and not stand and chat with each other. Most of us had never participated in this type of thing before but found it to be quite enjoyable. It also made many of the couples think more about adding some more formal protocols to their relationships as it defiantly set a good mood for both parties.

aurora

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RE: Formal D/s dinner - 11/6/2006 8:54:57 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

Has anyone participated or hosted a formal D/s dinner, similar or as described to the one written about in this article?

I wouldn't say similiar.... alot of differences actually... just for starters.. the slaves didn't wear clothes.

quote:

my second question is, has anyone done a formal dinner of this type as a private affair?

yes....

alot of different ideals... go with what works for you.. personally... I found alot of what was in the thread you shared not to be to my liking but a few things I did like.

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RE: Formal D/s dinner - 11/7/2006 3:08:17 AM

canupleaseme

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Joined: 7/9/2006
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I havent read the article but having formal dinner parties and inviting d/s couples to it is something i have been planning for a while now i am so glad i saw this thread .