Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (Full Version)

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catzubmsve -> Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (4/29/2004 8:20:36 PM)

Greetings A/all,

i am boy terry...collared to Mistress Catz for 5 years now and i would like to pose a question the the Dommes if i may.

1) Do You feel communication is important in a relationship??
2) Do You feel that a submissive has the right to negotiate within the relationship or is it topping from the bottom??

i look forward to the replies that will be posted.

Sincerely,
boy terry[:)]



GoddessMarissa -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (4/29/2004 9:12:59 PM)

Communication is very important, without communication how would you know anything? If your passive agressive just to get what you want, that would be topping from the bottom. Passive agressive behavior is unhealthy for a relationship. Every relationship has different methods of communicating, and I feel it is best to be upfront with what your feeling but at the same time know your place in the relationship.



MizSuz -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (4/30/2004 5:22:31 AM)

Terry:

So very good to see you here! Please do convey my hellos to your Mistress!

As to your questions:


quote:

ORIGINAL: catzubmsve

1) Do You feel communication is important in a relationship??
2) Do You feel that a submissive has the right to negotiate within the relationship or is it topping from the bottom??


1) Yes
2) Until things have been decided and agreed to otherwise, yes, a submissive has that right.

Of course in the final analysis everyone has the right to walk away, so I guess you could say that a submissive always has the right even when they have committed otherwise.



iwillserveu -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (4/30/2004 11:45:08 AM)

1) Damn Yes.
2) Depends on when

If you negotiate a limit, you cannot months later renegotiate it. (What do you think you play in the NFL?[:)])

If it is something you never discussed then When you bring it up you would not be bringing it up again. Say you never discussed fire play, because back when you set your limits it was not important. But suddenly it is. She cannot claim you never had that limit. You are at the beginning again when it comes to that.

If you did discuss it and you did not claim it as a limit you would not be justified when she gets the matches to say, "'I changed my mind."

Of course if you lied or she pushed too hard on the initial limits (same result) she might not want to have you in the first place. (Back to question #1 with an example of flawed communication.[:)])



LadyBeckett -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (4/30/2004 7:32:51 PM)

Hello, terry!!

Your entire relationship is going to rest upon your ability to communicate effectively and honestly with one another. Communication is right up there among the most important things in the relationship.

Regarding your second question, of course! However, that falls into the communication again. In the beginning of the relationship you are going to negotiate your terms and limits. Once those are set, anything further is determined by your Mistress.



iwillserveu -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (5/1/2004 1:59:22 PM)

M'Lady,

i don't look at it but i know some people find it important.

Congratulations on becoming a senior user. You'll never otherwise be a senior in my eyes. (Everyone got their snow shovels out?:))



LadyBeckett -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (5/2/2004 12:12:36 PM)

[;)]



catzubmsve -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (5/17/2004 9:42:35 PM)

Thanks to A/all who replied....it was nice to see the responses and even the counters...hope to post again soon.

boy terry



MistressDREAD -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (5/19/2004 8:35:48 PM)

Fact



ShadeDiva -> RE: Communication and negotiation...fact or fiction?? (5/20/2004 8:07:02 PM)

It's a hard and fast fact for me.

~ShadeDiva



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