Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (Full Version)

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sweetobsession -> Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (4/29/2004 9:48:28 PM)

Just stumbled across the board and got curious as to how many of each category is out there and why you chose to be in that genre? and last but not least what are the upsides and downside of it?



iwillserveu -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (4/30/2004 12:02:14 PM)

Goodie Goodie, definitions.

I am me.[:D]

OK, I can tell you what I'm not.

I am not a female.

I am not a Dom

I am not a switch.

I am not a Gorean.

Well i guess i am a dedicated submissive in the service of Lady Beckett.

I am a submissive/slave, or whatever pigeon hole you have, because I want what I want. I read the "i only want what You want, Mistress" drivel and scream, "bullpoop". Then that guy supposedly would be happy giving a sub female what she wants. The trick is finding a woman who wants what I want.



feline -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (4/30/2004 1:18:59 PM)

i am the complicated mix of all the things that make me, me. "A submissive with slave tendencies" as one Master put it. And i don't really think it was a choice. i think it was an evolving of situations, experiences and learning. And since situations change, new experiences are everywhere and i am forever learning, i am always evolving.

Though i'm sure there are upsides as well as downsides, i can't really think of any at this time. [:)] i think maybe that is because i know what i want, need and who i am. And i like being me.

[image]local://upfiles/17000/3FFC5490D64047CEB4D0071B937DEC74.gif[/image]



Estring -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/1/2004 10:48:59 AM)

I am The Walrus. Coo coo ca choo. [:D]
I am a Dom and I don't see a downside to that at all. I have always felt the need to be in charge one way or another.



Katmistress -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/1/2004 1:45:08 PM)

I have always been somewhat the "control freak" but never ventured into this kind of life until recently...this is the best thing I can imagine!
I don't care about definitions - they are in the dictionary and should not control how you act or how you see yourself and the world around you.
I will tell you that I have been called a BITCH so many times over the years that I actually looked and found out that is a legal part of my name - right there in black and white on my birth certificate...I am and always have been a bitch.
There are negative and positive parts to life no matter what you do or don't do - shrug - Life is all what you make of it.



iwillserveu -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/1/2004 2:10:48 PM)

quote:

I will tell you that I have been called a BITCH so many times over the years that I actually looked and found out that is a legal part of my name - right there in black and white on my birth certificate...I am and always have been a bitch.
There are negative and positive parts to life no matter what you do or don't do - shrug - Life is all what you make of it.
-Kat Mistress

Huh? You mean you mean you name is something like "Kelbitchengrangerski" or something or did you forget some sort of emoticon there?



SherriA -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/1/2004 2:11:53 PM)

None of the above? Is that one of the choices?

I'm Sherri. It's all I can be, and all I really want to be. I don't need any labels beyond that. Frankly, there are so many facets to wiitid I'd have to wear so many labels I'd likely drown. I don't choose it; it's just who I am.

Upsides? Downsides? *shrug* I'm an equal opportunity pervert (bi, switch, poly), how can there be a bad side to that? *grin*



Sinergy -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/7/2004 11:13:54 PM)

quote:

Just stumbled across the board and got curious as to how many of each category is out there and why you chose to be in that genre? and last but not least what are the upsides and downside of it?
_____________________________


The problem with asking me to define myself is that I tend to be rather eclectic in my approach to life. My general guiding principle is to NOT do anything which will damage another person unless my own (or those I care for) survival is at stake. On the other hand, one of my jobs is considered by many to be extremely dangerous for me. I feel it has to be done, so I do it.

I am extremely polite and caring and nurturing. If I say I will do something I will die trying to make it happen. If I dont want to do something I will say so and not do it. Trying to make me do something I am unwilling to do is like pushing a wall of mud up a hill.

I will not explain my decisions to anybody.

I dont have any specific approach to BDSM or the lifestyle. I think that those sorts of things (Gorean, Old Guard, etc) are attempts by people (who are fallible and not all-knowing) to establish a specific structure on an imperfect dynamic. This does not mean I mind others doing them, it just means I generally dont. I am willing to learn the structure, it just means I dont see using it as the be-all and end-all of my life in the lifestyle.

Sinergy



MstrMrW -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/8/2004 10:41:00 AM)

quote:

I am The Walrus. Coo coo ca choo.


submissive oysters beware!!!!!

quote:

Just stumbled across the board and got curious as to how many of each category is out there and why you chose to be in that genre? and last but not least what are the upsides and downside of it?


I can safely say that I am Dom, there being no 'spark' in the thought of submitting for me. As for the rest, I cannot really categorize myself as anything since I have my own eclectic methods, drawing from both Gorean ritual and sensual type servitude and BDSM protocol and dominance and S&M - all conjoined toghether in a mishmash that works for me.

The upside to this approach is I get to take what I consider the best of both worlds and use them as I see fit. The downside (if you want to call it that) would be that the 'true' Gorean masters can say that I am not a Gorean and the 'true' BDSM masters can say that I am not BDSM (or Old Guard or New Guard or Leather or whatever you want to call it).

Just realized that I am kind of repeating what sinergy said - but it has been my (somewhat limited) experience (based entirely on where I live) that most of the people that I have met in the lifestyle do the same thing - they pick and choose what works for them without regard to 'labels' - which is, imntbho, as it should be.

Label me what you will (as long as its NOT submissive[;)]), I know who and what I am and am comfortable with it - and if someone does not like what I am, then no one is forcing them to remain in my company.



Tyler15237 -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/15/2004 7:07:35 PM)

I am a dominant. Why? I don't know and, in some ways, don't care.

I live a fuller life and have the pleasure of making more intimate and deeper connections with my girl because of this inherent need.

I wouldn't change a thing.



sweetobsession -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/16/2004 9:30:01 PM)

i am glad that you finally found your true self Matt and your girl, Sir is very lucky to have you as her Master
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tyler15237

I am a dominant. Why? I don't know and, in some ways, don't care.

I live a fuller life and have the pleasure of making more intimate and deeper connections with my girl because of this inherent need.

I wouldn't change a thing.



Tyler15237 -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/17/2004 12:48:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetobsession

i am glad that you finally found your true self Matt and your girl, Sir is very lucky to have you as her Master
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tyler15237

I am a dominant. Why? I don't know and, in some ways, don't care.

I live a fuller life and have the pleasure of making more intimate and deeper connections with my girl because of this inherent need.

I wouldn't change a thing.



There is some confusion here which is related to my poor choice of words. I am currently single; I do not have a girl at this time. But the relationships I have had and the ones I will have in the future are more powerful because of the inherent nature of a D/s relationship.

thank you, nonetheless, for the compliments [:D]



sweetobsession -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (5/17/2004 10:42:18 PM)

oh i am very sorry Sir, and no thanks needed i wish you the best of luck in finding the one that you seek Sir :)



avarielle -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (6/10/2004 2:42:39 PM)

sweetobsession asked in a post:

Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and ...
Just stumbled across the board and got curious as to how many of each category is out there and why you chose to be in that genre? and last but not least what are the upsides and downside of it?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I reply:

This is a difficult question at best to answer, if not impossible. I will try to reply in a manner in which I am understood, however I am not promising that I can actually do so, therefore if you have any questions about what I'm about to say, please feel free to ask me to clarify, and I shall try to do. [:)]

I began as someone curious in the D/s realm. I didn't know where I fit, however the ideologies I discovered there were very important to me. So I began learning, and experimenting. For a short time I identified as a submissive, however the pleasure of another before my own didn't seem to really fit my personality at the time, so I began identifying as a Dominant. And that did seem to fit for quite a while. Until I learned that I liked to be bound and teased. So I figured I must be a switch. Well, that didn't seem to fit after a while either. So here I was in a world, where I didn't fit in vanilla relationships, and didn't quite fit in "alternative" relationships. So I did some more research and figured out that I fit more in the top role, and had a bit of a "sensually sadistic" side. This enabled me to get my "fix" of being bound and teased, by telling men how to do me [:D]

I was quite content with that label for a number of years [approximately 15]. That is until I met my current partner for lack of a better word.

My current partner is a man I call Master. He believes in the Gorean tennets, and the more I come to learn about them, the more I learn where I fit in this world. You see, I currently am called Darkest's slave, kanda, and I am accepted as his slave, and I enjoy being his slave to an extent. His pleasure is mine. So to him, I am a slave. The upside to this is that I share his life with him in all manners -- the good and the bad. He is my guider and protector, and most importantly he is my friend and confidante. Someone I know I can lean on for a supportive, caring arm. The downside is that I know eventually I will have to share him with another slave. Not something I desire, however, that is where his happiness lays, so therefore my happiness lies there as well. The other downside to being a slave is the fact that I always have the last words of "Yes, Master" -- end of discussion.

Should this relationship ever end however, I will not relinquish my freedom to another. I shall join the smaller population of Gorean Free Women. As I learn more and more of the Gorean Philosophies, I learn that this is where my mindset had been all my life, and that is where I will take my rightful place one day.

So, labels are not so easily applied to people, and I hope I have answered your question to where you and other could understand. However, as I stated earlier in this post, if you have any other questions feel free to ask them. [:D]



ShadeDiva -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (6/11/2004 11:47:11 PM)

Labels and boxes and me do NOT mix.

Never have, never will. I like it that way.

I have an odd opinion about labels - I hear folks say we need them to communicate - and though I see where they are coming from and what they mean by that - I also disagree. I don't think we actually require them at all.

I think they help folks do a *quick filter*.

I think that humans are essentially lazy creatures - and when I use lazy I'm not using it as an insult or in a negative way, but to say that we as a species, do what all things of creation tend to do when possible - take the path of least resistance.

It's just easier to rely on labels while talking/communicating. It might even be faster, depending on your POV. People use labels rather than doing a full fledged discussion so they don't waste time doing a full fledged discussion with a person that they later come to realize was a complete waste of their time.

The inherant problem I see with that - is that people use labels to mean different things, and think of different things when they are being used - so in essence, they *still* will have to wind up backtracking and confirming at some point that what they are saying is being recieved as they meant it. So in fact, it will take just as much time than it would if they dispensed with the labels from the get go.

For me, part of the entire JOY of communication is learning about the person that I'm talking to. I don't WANT a fast way to do that - because the reality is, it takes a long time to get to know someone, and I am fine with that - I have no inner need to rush to the end of something, for me, the joy is in the journey.

I'll be camping in a few weeks, my enjoyment of this event has *already* begun, I'm enjoying the entire preparation, the packing, the coinciding of schedules, the planning, the excited talks of how fun it's going to be, the planning the meals, how we'll deal with 9 days of no refrigeration with a passle of kids (I have no kids, but I'm a pseduo-mommy lol), all of it. When the day to start up there happens, I'll be enjoying the fact that I pre-packed my car, and I'll enjoy packing when I'm doing that, and I'll be enjoying the drive up there in a trail of friends, watching the land pass by me, watching as civilization slowly releases it's grasp and it's importance on me and my soul, and enjoy the approaching wilderness reach out to touch me in my depths, to heal what has needed healing for so long, enjoy the changing of scents and climate, and glory in our destination once we arrive, and stay a new journey of exploring a new area I've never been to and finding it's hidden glories and awesome powers and breathtaking beauty that are there if you only choose to open up yourself and *see*.

This trip would be a LOT different for me and vastly less enjoyable - if my enjoyment only started when I arrived, and I withheld from myself all the joys the journey *itself* has to offer me. I will get a thousand times more from this trip by choosing to see what is wonderful about the entire event and the journey that it takes for me to get from here to there and then back again, rather than if I refused to get to enjoy myself only *after* I had arrived.

I use that as a example as to how I view life in general, and as such why and how I see the entire process of discussion and enjoying the normal process of getting to know people over a length of time, and why I feel that it is the journey itself that is most often - the most important thing, not the end result. After all if I only enjoyed my trip from when I arrived - I will honestly get so much LESS from the trip and the stay itself.

Shoretcuts to me, cheat myself out of things that I'd otherwise experience, and I only *have* (as far as I know) this ONE life - I want every experience that will come to me, bad and good, it is all a part of the journey to me.

Labels to me are shortcuts, though sometimes one is forced to make such a concussion.

But I maintain that even then they in some way cheat yourself out of something that might be in it's own way soul defining and important.

Again, it's an odd opinion. LOL.

~ShadeDiva, who believes death itself is the *final* destination, so why bother to rush through the journey of life to death? I prefer the JOURNEY. lol.



sarbonn -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (6/25/2004 11:24:49 AM)

I am a male submissive who craves slavery and female control. I am often known as a female supremacist, a term that gets me into trouble more often than not by those who HATE the very essence of the term.

As a submissive, I lived as a houseslave, a dedicated driver, a whipping boy, a non-stop prisoner and all sorts of other little variances that someimes didn't overlap with one another. Quite often, it was more an essence of fitting in to being what a woman wanted from me and trying to be the best at that desire she had to best serve her in any way possible.

Now, what I am is not what anyone else is. I'm not better or worse than any other person who is whatever that person claims to be. It's when we force our nomenclatures upon others that we start to go down the slippery slope that makes it harder for us to be what we want to be ourselves. Our own inner shadows cast a wide enough figure that living in someone else's shadow just isn't conducive to success.



Loreena -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (6/26/2004 9:35:26 PM)

I am a sub with my husband, but when chatting I like to be the dom.



redflame -> RE: Are you Gorean,Dom/sub/or BDSM and why? (6/30/2004 6:26:00 PM)

i am a submissive... i serve because of the desire in my heart..
i have always been this way.. but did not know i was seeking a Dom



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