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Communication - 2/5/2005 6:52:56 PM

subtexxxt

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline

Hello - this group is so wonderful -- i'd like to share something and perhaps get some feedback on.

i'm in a new relationship with a wonderful Mistress but i find that Her previous relationsships both D/s and vanilla were not good ones -- many men trying to control Her or they would lie to Her. Now, when something happens that isn't to Her liking She is presuming i am doing one or the other.

i realize this is life and we all have some level of "bagage" no matter who we are D or s and i truly care deeply for Her. But i'm finding myself becoming frustrated and a lil angry that even though i continually show Her who i am and what i am about it's seen another way.

May i humbly ask if any Dommes have been in this situation and/or are their any suggestions or insights as to how i can help communication between my Mistress and i or even a way i can deal with this frustration i'm experiencing?

Respectfully,

subtexxxt

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RE: Communication - 2/5/2005 7:20:44 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

I have been in the position of your Mistress and it was very difficult to learn how to not react out of the past to the new person in My life. I had to constantly remind Myself that this person was not the same as the others and needed to be judged on their own merits. I know I made life rough for the one living with Me because I reacted to what I had learned to expect and not to what he was doing. he constantly had to remind Me that he was not so-and-so but things did not change until I was willing to change the way I thought and reacted.

Good luck dear and I hope someO/one else has better or more practical suggestions.

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RE: Communication - 2/5/2005 7:28:22 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Been there, done that.. brought home the T-shirt! I think we've all run into trust issues due to past experiences. What you have to do is realize it and not let them rule you. Caution is good, but you can't ruin a new relationship because of an old one. What you need to do is TALK with her. Let her know how you're feeling. That you adore her and love to serve her but are becoming frustrated with the constant misunderstandings. Open your mouth. Get things out in the open where they can be discussed and dealt with.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: Communication - 2/5/2005 8:05:54 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It sounds like you are speaking to Her but She is not
understanding whats being said. Do you keep a journal
of your daily Ownership? I suggest you do such and write
down what you feel and whats happening that is effecting
you and then give your journal to your Mistress to read
and hopefully better understand what problems you have
and She and work on fixing them. Try and write your
feelings in a poetic nature so that when they are read by
your Mistress She sees that work you put into your thoughts
and writings and will more appreciate your sincerity by
seeing your actions and feelings in print as well.
Communicating does not only happen with words but with
writing and with nonverbal actions as well.JMPO

< Message edited by MistressDREAD -- 2/5/2005 8:08:22 PM >

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