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CaptveDesre -> RE: Why would a Domme...? (11/16/2006 1:13:38 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pixelslave
Captive Desire,
In my opinion, I'm not certain that what you've phrased as a question is anything more than a statement or series of opinions, veiled as questions. That said, you've asked for answers to what you've claimed to be a question as quoted above, and in fact you've received many responses. You've chosen to discount most, if not all of them. In my view, at least some had merit that you could have chosen to at least acknowledge and could have thanked those who replied in some small way (who it would now appear that they perhaps have wasted their time in posting their responses to you), by at least offering to consider the validity of their responses and to ponder upon them. I suspect your failure to do this is at the root of the problem you so loudly protest.
In my opinion I have. I apologize for not convincing you further, pixel. My deeper apologies go to the posters who have come forward with thoughtful responses, whom I have not all individually thanked. It seems to me, their answers bring abundant evidence to my question being a question. Some have answered it and even discussed it among others in turn, which was the entire intent of this thread. Many thanks to them.
My only defense would be to say I've spent that time instead defending myself and the thread's topic from a select few who are rather intent on derailing it. Why, I don't claim to know, but since this board is so very reliant upon evidence, I'll use a snippet of your last post, if that is alright:
quote:
ORIGINAL: pixelslave
I've read your profile, and not to sound overly critical, but it reads "ME, ME, ME!" yet tells nothing about you or what you might have to offer a Domme. I'd highly recommend that you re-think your profile and rewrite it to say something about yourself as a person as well as what you have to offer a Domme as a submissive, instead of just what you want from the Domme you'd like to meet. [;)]
I'm very pleased you took time from your writing to delve into my personal profile, though I can't say I'm as pleased knowing it was simply for the purpose of trying to lure me into some sort of side quarrel.
What does my profile have to do with this thread, pixel? Anything?
If you read it and have the taste that it was too much about me, I'd only say in response that I'm comforted. At last check, someone's profile is actually supposed to provide information about the respective person and their hopes, and I would be fearful of a profile written outside that understanding. But I digress, this is exactly the sort of bickering that I was spending so much time trying to arrest. My apologies... though I thank you, pixel, for providing me with an easy highlight on the issue.
quote:
ORIGINAL: pixelslave
Now when thinking about Dommes in general, what is it that attracts you to them? Is it not the fact that they indeed have opinions? As a sub, do you not ultimately desire to submit to their decisions? In no way am I suggesting that you should have no opinions of your own, only that the women of which you speak, are women whom you should expect to have very strong opinions which are likely to differ from your own! When speaking to them, I suggest you learn to speak in terms of "in my experience, this is what I've found...", "it seems to me...", and "Based on my experience, my preference is..." as opposed to speaking in absolutes, black & white terms, or even worse: trying to win an argument with one at all costs. Letting others know that you value their opinions, that their opinions have merit, are worthy of consideration, that they have given you a different viewpoint than you might otherwise ever have considered, or are something new that you'll have to spend time thinking about, are all things anyone will feel complimented to hear. In saying any one of those things, you've still completely retained the right to keep your existing opinion and it has cost you nothing to validate the opinion of another person in the process! [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m22.gif[/image] You might find that taking such an approach will get you much further along toward reaching your ultimate goal and will pay dividends to you in other areas of your life as well. [sm=tongue.gif]
- pixel
I never supported the notion that others, Domme or not, were not entitled to an opinion. I've mentioned this often.
As a submissive, I ultimately desire to submit to one's decisions and opinions, not the entire lot. As can be seen in various mediums, there are partners both submissive and dominant that have unhealthy behaviors, and while I still respect their right to do as they wish, I respect myself enough to not subject my mind and body to every command and perspective that is brought to me. In my experience, this is not an unreasonable way to go about social life. However, it seems to me (again) that answering your questions about myself are not helping the thread's topic progress. My preference is to find common ground in cases where two ends won't meet...
Therefore, if a simple response to the topic at hand is too difficult because you feel my personal influence is involved, consider the scenario hypothetical, and respond in kind based on your experience, how it seems to you, and what your preferences are when encountered in a similar tight spot.
I do value your opinion pixel, I'm just patiently waiting to hear it as it pertains to the topic. Not about me.
Lets hope my dividends pay well this time. ^_^ <~~ (You even got me to add the all important smiley!)
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