Scared

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Scared

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Scared

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Scared - 11/16/2006 10:18:58 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

OK My Master is a switch I am not I am 100% slave. Right now he doesnt have a Mistress but Im terrefied that when he finds one he will lose his Domanance!!

That haveing a Mistress will mean it will be more importent for him to just obay her then to Dominate me and what if his obaying her interfears with him beeing able to Dominate me.

I feel this way because I know that pleasing Master is the most importent thing to me and that if he feels as I do then pleasing her will be so importent and i wont be anything... Logicaly I know he wont let that happen his Domanance is soooo much a part of him and he told me he would NEVER give that up or be with someone that wanted him too... I dont know I guess there really isnt a question here and Im probubly just venting.. but i wish i wasnt so scared!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

RE: Scared - 11/16/2006 11:47:42 PM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

The fear of being replaces if very, very common. Look inside and see if you can figure out why it scares you. In the process, talk to your Master about it.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 6:35:08 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

The fear of being replaces if very, very common. Look inside and see if you can figure out why it scares you. In the process, talk to your Master about it.

Master Fire

Thanks... Im not the best at adressing my feelings I like to hide them so I cant get hurt, Mater and I are working on that.. We have talked about this a little but the entire subject makes me emotional and i wind up shutting down and shutting him out... We are takeing it slow and trying to unravle my feelings little by litte and he is doing his best to reashure me.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 7:23:48 AM

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

I can understand your positions but maybe this situation could be a possiblity to evolve the relationship into a poly dynamic..... I do not know if you could swing that way but could it be a possiblity? This is a fear that I had about myself in relation to my subs but after alot of talking to all parties we have come to an understanding. Daddy is the Head of the house, the ultimate authority, my subs are to follow all His rules (as they are mine too) plus they have the added commands from me. Daddy has free use of all subs of the House, within their limits of course, as He is Top Dom. Open and honest communaction is the most importent and yet the hardest part when it comes to our feelings or insecurities sometimes.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 7:33:23 AM

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Is your master actively looking for a Mistress? I ask because I traditionally only have a single relationship, of any meaning, at one time. If I am taking the Dominant role in that relationship I am not going out looking for a Mistress. Like wise if I am subbing, I dont feel the need to go find somebody to top. I don't feel incomplete, I am in a relationship that I WANT to be in.

Not all switches have to have both sides in their life all the time.

N

(in reply to BDSM05478)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 10:18:20 AM

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Communication, communication, communication.

fergus

(in reply to Nuke718)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 10:21:12 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Fergus,

Which of those three do you think is the most important?

Completely Agree agree agree,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to fergus)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 4:35:28 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSM05478

I can understand your positions but maybe this situation could be a possiblity to evolve the relationship into a poly dynamic..... I do not know if you could swing that way but could it be a possiblity? This is a fear that I had about myself in relation to my subs but after alot of talking to all parties we have come to an understanding. Daddy is the Head of the house, the ultimate authority, my subs are to follow all His rules (as they are mine too) plus they have the added commands from me. Daddy has free use of all subs of the House, within their limits of course, as He is Top Dom. Open and honest communaction is the most importent and yet the hardest part when it comes to our feelings or insecurities sometimes.

yes this has been talked about but I have made it clear that while he may chose whoever he wishes as a Domme (though he has listend to my thoughts on people befor) it is MY choise if they are someone I would enter into a poly situation we made it clear befor he collard me that just because I belonged to him didnt mean I belonged to a Mistress he chose to belong too.. The only choise I have as a slave is who owns me... If he tried to take that away i would have nothing and would in my own eyes seace beeing human and it would no longer be consentual.. We have agreed it is up to me if I wish to belong to who he belongs to!!!! If who ever he choses even wants to own me... but he also needs to make it clear to who ever the Domme is that she doesnt own me just because he choses to belong to her. Heck I would love to be in that kind of poly situation beeing owned by Master and both of us beeing owned by a Mistress but in the end it has to be my choise if whatever Masters choise in Mistresses is if I want to belong to her to submit to her in any way!!!

Does that make any sence??

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to BDSM05478)

RE: Scared - 11/17/2006 4:37:16 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nuke718

Is your master actively looking for a Mistress? I ask because I traditionally only have a single relationship, of any meaning, at one time. If I am taking the Dominant role in that relationship I am not going out looking for a Mistress. Like wise if I am subbing, I dont feel the need to go find somebody to top. I don't feel incomplete, I am in a relationship that I WANT to be in.

Not all switches have to have both sides in their life all the time.

N

Yes he is.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Nuke718)

RE: Scared - 11/18/2006 3:34:09 PM

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

You say your not 100% slave. Have you any Top side to you? As a alternative to poly?

Charity begins at home, so they say lol

i completely agree, in your assertion, that just coz he wishes to be owned by a particular Domme, does not include you in the package. She may not hit any of your buttons, but all of his. This remains to be seen. Your only right as a slave, well, that's another thread that's been done to death.

Sharing as a concept, is a difficult one. And requires good communication skills set between you. I would advocate honing your communication skills concerning your emotions before he finds his Domme.

i wish you both well. there are challenges for switches that dont occur for the people who identify as purely top or bottom. How well you creatively manage both of your needs, will be both of yours challenge. But there will be a way. There always is. Just some are more palatable than others.

goodluck guys
littleone

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 4:55:44 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I showeed Master this thread as I do all threads I write protaining to us... Because Im scare shareing things sometimes it is easier for me to write it to someone els and have him read it like a journal thing... Maybe a journal would be a good idea for us I dont know, Im just always scared that things I feel will push him away even though I know logicaly they wont he alwways promises me he isnt going anywhere that he wont just dissapear from my life.. but I guess my abandement issues reach further then his words can!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 5:06:10 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I showeed Master this thread as I do all threads I write protaining to us... Because Im scare shareing things sometimes it is easier for me to write it to someone els and have him read it like a journal thing... Maybe a journal would be a good idea for us I dont know, Im just always scared that things I feel will push him away even though I know logicaly they wont he alwways promises me he isnt going anywhere that he wont just dissapear from my life.. but I guess my abandement issues reach further then his words can!!

Magik's slave

Your feelings of abandonment are yours and only through time together with your Master will they go away. Always communicate these feelings with him, never stop talking to him just because you have said maybe the exact same thing before.

As a Switch, understand that him having a Domme may be something he absolutely needs. Like anything else the 2 of you will encounter along the way, him being happy is important. Your happiness is important also however and never let anyone tell you differently.

As he looks for the Domme he seems to need, be by his side and help him along the way. You have the right to be scared, but also should have the desire to overcome the fear and support him in any way you can.

_____________________________

leave the drama out of it huhhhhhhh

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 5:22:27 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shaylaSC

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I showeed Master this thread as I do all threads I write protaining to us... Because Im scare shareing things sometimes it is easier for me to write it to someone els and have him read it like a journal thing... Maybe a journal would be a good idea for us I dont know, Im just always scared that things I feel will push him away even though I know logicaly they wont he alwways promises me he isnt going anywhere that he wont just dissapear from my life.. but I guess my abandement issues reach further then his words can!!

Magik's slave

Your feelings of abandonment are yours and only through time together with your Master will they go away. Always communicate these feelings with him, never stop talking to him just because you have said maybe the exact same thing before.

As a Switch, understand that him having a Domme may be something he absolutely needs. Like anything else the 2 of you will encounter along the way, him being happy is important. Your happiness is important also however and never let anyone tell you differently.

As he looks for the Domme he seems to need, be by his side and help him along the way. You have the right to be scared, but also should have the desire to overcome the fear and support him in any way you can.

Yes i know what you are saying and Im am beeing very suportive and have even looked for Domme's for him.. a few weeks ago at the club I asked a Domme if she would sceene with my Master because he was to shhy to aproche her. I want him to be happy I want him to have a Mistress but I dont want to lose him and I cant shake the irrational fear (LOL I just used a lot of I wants for a slave) and I KNOW it is irrational.. He needs a Mistress just as I need him to be my Master I know that, it can sometimes be a need just like breathing is and my utmost desidire is for him to be complete and happy and I know I cant totaly complete him and please him and i guess that frustrates me to no end!!! I cant completley please him and as a slave thats like a fate worse then death and i guess a lot of my emotions about this comes from that aspect as well.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to shaylaSC)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 5:47:56 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline

You are pleasing him already by helping him even through your fears. Try to remember that this his need is not there because of any failing on your part. It was a need of his before you entered his life and continues to be a need.

Try to look past the fear of not pleasing Him, because if you were not pleasing him, you would not be there.

Not sure that helps even a little bit, but I do hope it does.

_____________________________

leave the drama out of it huhhhhhhh

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 6:08:02 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shaylaSC

You are pleasing him already by helping him even through your fears. Try to remember that this his need is not there because of any failing on your part. It was a need of his before you entered his life and continues to be a need.

Try to look past the fear of not pleasing Him, because if you were not pleasing him, you would not be there.

Not sure that helps even a little bit, but I do hope it does.

Thank you very much hearing this really does help (reading it rather)

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to shaylaSC)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 8:09:22 AM

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

I personally find a journal to be very helpful explaining my fears or concerns to Daddy. Sometimes it is just a letter or an email because I have a hard time putting my feelings into words (as alot do cause feelings are so complex) but sometimes when i put them into words it can give me a new perspctive on my own view point. also allow me to remind you He is a switch (lol don't shot me! I know you know this) what I mean by that is it seems he is driven by both sides of his personality equally, his need to submit is just as strong as His need to Dominate..... that said it should remind you that the day more than likely will never come where He will say he has no need for you in His life.....you fullfill that part of Him, no one else...... did I express that correctly?

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 8:13:47 AM

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSM05478

I personally find a journal to be very helpful explaining my fears or concerns to Daddy. Sometimes it is just a letter or an email because I have a hard time putting my feelings into words (as alot do cause feelings are so complex) but sometimes when i put them into words it can give me a new perspctive on my own view point. also allow me to remind you He is a switch (lol don't shot me! I know you know this) what I mean by that is it seems he is driven by both sides of his personality equally, his need to submit is just as strong as His need to Dominate..... that said it should remind you that the day more than likely will never come where He will say he has no need for you in His life.....you fullfill that part of Him, no one else...... did I express that correctly?

Awwwhhhhh. ~smiling~ That was ~sweet~! Very nicely said.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to BDSM05478)

RE: Scared - 11/20/2006 10:12:39 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSM05478

I personally find a journal to be very helpful explaining my fears or concerns to Daddy. Sometimes it is just a letter or an email because I have a hard time putting my feelings into words (as alot do cause feelings are so complex) but sometimes when i put them into words it can give me a new perspctive on my own view point. also allow me to remind you He is a switch (lol don't shot me! I know you know this) what I mean by that is it seems he is driven by both sides of his personality equally, his need to submit is just as strong as His need to Dominate..... that said it should remind you that the day more than likely will never come where He will say he has no need for you in His life.....you fullfill that part of Him, no one else...... did I express that correctly?

Yes you said that wonderfully and your right about the journaling thing because even through just writeing it here I have been able to come to terms with my own feelings like befor writeing the reply I did about not beeing able to fuflill Master totaly I didnt even realise consciensly that i was feeling that way but it makes sence and now that I know Im feeling that I can share it with Master and let him know more about my feelings...

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to BDSM05478)

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Scared

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.563