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Shattered - 5/1/2004 9:51:40 PM

poeticsurrender

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Huntington Beach, California
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what do you do when something that has been a constant in your life for years... dependable......your rock.... One you go to when you need to hide...... what do you do if they go away?

_____________________________

If it weren't for insanity... i'd have no way out.

RE: Shattered - 5/1/2004 11:03:22 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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You hurt bad, no doubt about it. There is no way around that. Talk to close friends and rely on them for support. And with time you will move on. Good luck to you.

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/1/2004 11:30:44 PM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
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When you are so use to having someone in your life and they leave, it can be hard to deal with. When you have only yourself to rely on, remember you are the most important person. Before you can share yourself with anyone you have to heal first. It may take some getting used to being by yourself, but it will make you more confident and you will know exactly what you want out of your next relationship. If you have made any misstakes with your last relationship, witch I'm sure we all have, try to analize and make sure you dont make the same mistakes. It's never a mistake as long as we learn from it. Just remember, everything happends for a reason. Dont think of it as a loss of time, think of it as a laerning expirence. Mabey he/she was not the one for you.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 5/1/2004 11:48:12 PM >

_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
www.Domina.ms/love

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 12:42:05 AM

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Joined: 4/29/2004
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i know how you feel i am going through the same thing, it is so scary and you feel all alone and confused..it is probably like you cant think straight at times and it is like your stuck frozen in time ..and the pain i know it can bring you to your knees at times just remember that you are not alone in this there is always someone out there that is going through what you are going through or have been through it and may can help you, i am around if you need to talk just msg me *hugs you tight*

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 6:58:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poeticsurrender

what do you do when something that has been a constant in your life for years... dependable......your rock.... One you go to when you need to hide...... what do you do if they go away?

Grieve.

There is a process to grief and often it takes a long time, but if you allow yourself to just feel whatever it is that you feel (without needing to "do something" about it) eventually time will help you find a balance.

I recently lost someone. I've found that reminding myself of all the blessings that I received from/while knowing this person helps to ease me when the grief seems over whelming.

I count my blessings and remind myself that because I was touched by this person my life was enhanced and they will live forever inside me. I spend time hoping that I can pass on the blessings they gave me, thereby giving further life to them.

And I hurt when I need to.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 8:45:12 AM

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Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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Dear poetic-

Be your own rock for a while, as best you can. Think about taking care of you, spending some time alone, make time to be good to yourself.

Remember the good, consider the future as possibly being good too. Set a goal for being ready to move on, and where you want to be then- "by next spring, I'll be looking again, I'll be ready when it comes-"

Stay warm,

Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 10:08:33 AM

Posts: 52
Joined: 1/30/2004
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One thing for certain in life is that nothing or no one is permanent. The more you can accept that fact, the easier it is to let go. I don't mean that to sound cold as it's apparent you need your time of grief and this is part of it. I only know in my life, which has seen a lot of loss, it has made it easier to let go by realizing and accepting that fact.
I hope your suffering from your loss ends soon and happiness surrounds your life.

ZM

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 10:36:37 AM

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Joined: 4/27/2004
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When i saw the title here, it made me stop...because at one time i also was "shattered"
and this is the song i listened to, by linda ronstadt.
"Shattered....like a window pane, broken by the storm....each tiny piece of me lies alone
and scattered....far beyond repair, all my shiny dreams just lying there.
i'm broken, but i'm laughing....it's the sound of falling glass.
i hope that you won't mind if i should cry...in public, while i wait for this to pass.
'cause sweet darlin, i'm shattered...into pieces calm and gray
sweep the pieces all away, then no one will ever know how much it mattered.
that something deep inside of me
shattered......"

It helped to cry...to cry until there seemed to be none left to cry. but there are always more, dear one....always more. My Master died. There was no last goodbye, no more "i love You's". He died on the treadmill. i waited for Him at our usual spot, toys laid out in neat rows, my appearance perfect for Him, but I never saw Him again. i still think of Him daily, still wish He was here, but I will not see Him again in this life.
When the worst that could happen, does indeed happen.....then there is nothing left to fear.
i only listen to His words in my head now, and in my heart....they tell me..."LIVE!......LIVE!"
i don't know if my words help you at all, dear one...but there is great beauty and grace in continuing on, in spite of loss, in spite of being 'shattered'.
and it makes the song much sweeter.
laces

(in reply to ZenMaster)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 12:22:22 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
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You remember...
You remember who you were before you were with them
You remember who they were with you and to you
within you and around you
you recall the sound of their voice and how their skin felt against yours
you hear their voice when the wind blows
and in that place between wake and sleep...in the dark
you think, as you are stepping out of the shower...that the door has closed
and you step into the hall believing that you will see them come around the corner
your heart beats a little bit faster, but you know they won't
sigh deeply, and remember the love, the depth, the absolute sincerity and richness of all of it
and believe that you can have all of that again...someday
not today, because today it still hurts, that feeling of missing them

You will heal, and someone will touch you and you will feel their warm
the sound of their voice will bless your mouth with a smile
believe that, and just keep moving forward
Do what you're doing...reach out and touch those of like mind
warm souls and brilliant minds
and always remember, it is all good.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 12:33:21 PM

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
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Perhaps this is needless to say, but you have many here that are more then willing to listen and be here for you. i agree with Estring, close friends can make this tough time more bareable. And GoddessMarissa, you must heal yourself before you can fully give to another. And learn from the experience should there be anything to learn from. Like Miz Suz said "remember the blessings" And last but not least, know from sweetobsession and laces that you are not alone.

Yes i know, i have taken from others posts to make my point. There are some very good people here. And they have all said the same things i would have told you. Know that i have been in your place, and time does pass, and it does get easier. Remember to look to the future. It can hold some wonderfull things.

Take care,

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/2/2004 8:58:39 PM

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Joined: 4/28/2004
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Think about the good things that the person brought to your life and how it inhanced it not what you are missing. Relationships that end are enivitable and are heart wrenching at times. Talk to your friends, allow yourself only a specific amount of time to wallow in the pain with your friends, then force yourself to do things or talk about other things. Time does help, though at times the pain will be there no matter how long it has been. Stay away from people that want to just tell you that everyone feels this pain, even if it isn't true, it doesn't help most of us. I have been through a lot of extremely bad events in my life the past three years, being able to talk about it, remembering the good things not the bad brings happy thoughts to mind and it really does make things easier. Write in your journal becuase it helps get the thoughts out of your head and the more it is taken out, the more it seems to help you move on to the next stage of your life. Try to learn from bad events and use them as stepping stones. Everything that has happened to us makes us who we are. Wishing you had never met someone does not promote a healthy mind. Tell yourself that you are who you are because of everyone that touched your life.

I wish you well both mentally and physically.
lively_SH

(in reply to feline)

shattered - 5/3/2004 9:40:10 AM

Posts: 24
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: US
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The pain in your light cries out to me, as it must ave for the others who responded with such high feeling.

Surely, thhere is wisom in the replies you have received: t heal, to move on, to immerse yourself in life again, to find your balance again, at last.

Myself I think some wounds can never heal entirely, not sure that even the effort to overcome the wound is even useful. Hold onto the pain, sleep with it, let it flower in your soul. Rather than dwelling on the good in the past relationship, make yourself neutral, open yourself to hurt. your lesson will be understood in terms of your action: either you will seek another at length in which case you will prove that the gain in your past union was far more important than the pain of its ending. Or, you will remain alone; avoiding possible loss by not partaking. Let your own response teach you the lesson.

Whichever way you turn, in the end, it will come to you that you have survived. And know that, whatever your fate,having friends is always good.

My advice may seem too passive, or even unhealthy to some. It stems from my belief that some wounds can never entirely heal--but you will go on.

_____________________________

[email protected]

(in reply to lively)

RE: Shattered - 5/3/2004 2:43:35 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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relate to those of Us who too have been
SHATTERED
Mine was shot three times from the back the fatal
blow to His head as I walked into a food store with
Him My self also shot three times. By a drive by hit
from a strong drug possie in My country.I tried to put His
head back together to no avail befor My self losing
light. He was a undercover narcotics officer
concidered to have been shot in the line of duty all
tho He was off duty and with Me and I was a Palitive
Dr. fresh starting My Own practice. That day ended
both Our lifes as We knew them in the war on drugs
from another land not the USA but for the USA. We
had been together for 27 years with a VERY large Poly
Family whom held together thru it all from support of
One another with in My Family. Its their strenths and
especially the strenths of My lifelong slaves that gave
Me the balance and the determination to continue to live
and led Me here to the USA to start from scratch in a new
Life,,,, the Good the Bad and the Ugly. You will never
have shattered leave your side so learn to walk with it.
This happed allmost 7 years ago now and is as fresh as
the day it happened even tho I have moved on and have
much in My life now in fact it is quite full but still included
always that Lost Love and shattered part of ME as well.

(in reply to poeticsurrender)

RE: Shattered - 5/3/2004 6:20:10 PM

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Joined: 4/27/2004
Status: offline

i am so sorry, Mistress Dread...to hear Your story. we all seem to have experienced such pain here. perhaps that is why we crave the moments of divinity. i just wanted to say a word to You here.
laces

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Shattered - 5/3/2004 6:28:32 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

none needed lace aka bijou
Lifes Shattered are best
shared by those whom
experianced Them no matter
the reasons or ends. The point
is the new beginning and continuing
presance of Us.Lifes alive which I am in
and so should be poeticsurrender
~smiles~

(in reply to lacesundone)

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