BeachMystress -> RE: Question about tribute? (2/10/2005 3:19:22 AM)
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I suggest you move your quest for Domme to a venue where you get to know each other before you get to the point of submitting. Domme are rare, so it may take you a while to hook up with one in the local scene, but at least when you meet her, you know she is for real. Someone getting out and attending munches and events is usually more serious about the lifestyle. As for tribute, it depends upon what was expected. Is this a one time thing? Is it monetary or is it service? When I was still seeking a sub (I now have my sub and no longer play with any but him), I finally had to require a gift from my wishlist- their choice of an item between $35 and $369- the first time I PLAYED with a sub. (I have never believed in tribute to just meet a person.) I started that because a lot of subs are looking for a "one off" and I was very tired of being used. I'd tell the sub before meeting that it was a one time requirement. That way, if it turned out that they just needed a fix and were lying about being interested in a relationship, I didn't feel quite so much like I'd wasted my time. It takes not only time, but energy to play with someone. I personally usually do not enjoy the first several session with a sub because it takes a connection to the person for it to be good for me. Those first several sessions would be considered a waste to me, if it wasn't investment in a relationship. Now, my current sub and I met at a Club FEm play party. Because I was able to get to know him and gage his sincerity, the question of a gift for first play never came up. There was never a question in my mind that he was looking to use me. This is my only D/s relationship where I met the person in a social setting instead of via online. It has been the most amazing relationship I've had. I know the luck/chemistry we have is rare and many search for years before finding a match. Give yourself the best chance.. get out and meet people. You may not meet a Domme in the first month.. or first six months. But when one shows up, you'll be known in the community and hopefully respected. Time and patience are what this endeavour is going to take. In the mean time, learn some skills to make you more marketable to a Domme. (Cooking, massage, flower arranging, leather or wood work for a few examples) Good Luck. Links to help get you to munches http://www.lifestyleexplorers.org/ http://www.tbwe.net/ http://www.tampamunch.org/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tampabaybdsmsocialclub/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tampabayspankings/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Tampa_Personals/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Tampa_Tops_n_Bottoms/ http://www.bdsmflorida.com/ http://www.clubfemsouthflorida.com/ (I belong to my local chapter of Club FEm. I know this chapter is in the other half of the state, but there used to be a chapter farther north. I can't find the site for it. Perhaps the people in the So Fla group can help you)
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