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sub4hire -> RE: How do handle being naked? (5/8/2004 12:13:47 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: EStrict
How come it bothers you? Does your dominant mind other's ogling? Most every dominant I have ever been involved with at one time or another dressed me in a way to make SURE I was going to get ogled then took me out. They enjoyed watching other men looking, knowing that I was no one other's than theirs.
I was at Master's work last week. He was talking to a coworker who asked him if he had seen the blonde that was up $500 (he deals poker) at table 24. *you know, the one with big tits*. Master responded, *oh, you mean my wife?*
Getting guys to flirt with me and think of me as nothing but a dumb blonde has helped me win a lot of money in poker. Master loves me to win, so he would actually be more upset if I dressed to not get noticed, or didn't flirt at all than when I do.
Sandy,
You know a bit more about me than most who frequent this board. Only a couple other's know as much as you do. Each person may know a little here and there that you don't know as you know a bit more than they do. Make sense?
Anyway since you asked the question. I will tell you. Brief history about me. I am not a victim, I am a survivor. At the age of 4 I was molested. Hence..the way I know how to deal with abuse survivors. I know first hand what thoughts go through an abused person's mind. Aside from the fact I know how to treat them professionally as well.
People have asked me in the past, why did I allow it to happen. The only thing I know is because I did what I was told to do. Still do but in a much more limited environment than once was. As you've heard me say many times submissives are born. Not hatched on the pc because they were horny today and found a chat room.
When I was 11, I was a 36C. Nope not because I was fat either. I just developed rather early. Hence I stood out. I used to walk home from school and there would be a man sitting in his car watching all the little girls and boys walk by masturbating. Buck naked. Nope, he never bothered me. Never uttered a word. Looking back, maybe he did when he found the suitable prey.
At 13 I fought off a rapist in my own bedroom. Fought and won. Intruder in the house. People used to tell me, whether truth of fiction. They would hear stories of someone from the outside looking in...the next day they were in. Well, hey it happened. I don't know if the guy was outside looking in or it was his first trip to my home.
Of course by the ripe old age of 13 I had matured enough to say nobody was taking advantage of me in any way anymore. By the time I was 21 and in the military. A woman in my squadron put her hands on me and came back with a broken arm. I had fully matured by then.
Suffice to say. I've lived through a lot. These incidents are only the tip of my iceberg. I've lived all of my life with men looking at me and ogling me. I can only assume it is because I've always had large breasts. They are only much larger now. In high school a kid broke another's jaw because I was talking to him. Talking. I had a boyfriend as well..a committed relationship at the time. My boyfriend was'nt either of the two fighting one another.
So, basically I've seen the ups and downs of people in general. Seen the good sides and the bad. Bodies are merely bodies to me. They change over time. We won't take them with us as they age and die. Why be so transfixed on them while we are here? It is the mind inside that really matters.
Sure, my Dom likes to know he has a desireable submissive. Little does he truly know just how desireable. People from the past who were trying to win me over still show up today from time to time. Still waiting. I am not going to put doubt in his mind when there is no reason in the world to do so. I know how to dress to drive him insane. That's really all that matters to me.
As far as using looks to make more money or get a leg up in my career. Yep, I've seen women do it in the past. Frankly I don't feel we should lower ourselves to that point.
However, if I were in a position where tips made up my salary you better well believe I'm going to use what I have. I have often thought(being the sun worshipper I am) going to a car wash and getting a job. Just part time, no it isn't my dream job. Just to see how many tips I could make in a day. Sports bra and shorts.
Yet in my career I have no desire and I don't feel sex appeal has a place. Am I contradicting myself yet? I don't get paid by tips I guess is what I'm trying to say. Those people I understand. Just not in my field.
I try to dress down no matter where I am going. Unless it is Doug and myself alone. He is 6'6 he can see cleavage where there is'nt any cleavage. So, no need to dress differently for him.
Anyway, now you have seen or heard part of my life.
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