New person (Full Version)

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VixenSara -> New person (11/22/2006 11:55:24 AM)

Hello everyone,

I have been wanting to do the dom/sub relationship for awhile, and never meant anyone that wanted to be my sub till now.  We are roomates and do have a sexual realtionship.  It seems that my sub is in a hurry but i am new at this and he has some experience.  WE both work different shifts so it makes it a little hard.  So any advice would help to get me started in the dom role.  I don't want it to go too fast i have had bad luck in that area. I have been to yahoo chat rooms and stuff but they don't offer anything if the users talk to you. 


VixenSara




Aine -> RE: New person (11/22/2006 12:02:38 PM)

There's a little thing that I like to fall back on.

K.I.S.S.  And no, not the band (though, gimme that tongue anyday! lmao)

Keep It Simple Stupid.

Keep things low key, friendly, open, playful, humorous.  Like learning how to ride a bike...or roller skate.  Don't end up equating it to something as demanding and stressfull as like......studying for a humongous test.

Keep communication open and flowing at ALL times.  Don't take yourself very seriously, be able to laugh at yourselves if things seem awkward.  Because they will.

Do a lot of reading, perhaps together, maybe come up with a scene based off of something you've read...again, something simple.  Nothing too involved and complicated.

I could go on for days...but really, I'm just trying to make generalities.   That's the best I can offer since there is no set -kind- of relationship between you two (as in they aren't collared to you, etc).  Jump in, have fun, stay in the shallow end for a while until you get used to the water.




VixenSara -> RE: New person (11/22/2006 12:18:29 PM)

Thank you,  that is how it has been, just lately i have gotten this vibe but like you said keep it simple. 




kittensangel -> RE: New person (11/22/2006 1:15:16 PM)

I am not sure where your are in TN but i might sugest finding a local group. That way you can get get ot know other Doms and that way your sub can also learn as well.




slavemaia -> RE: New person (11/22/2006 2:37:27 PM)

i agree - move slowly (did i do that? nope. But hindsight is 20/20 - lol). In any event other than physical harm, with not knowing what You're doing, there is the potential emotional and psychological damage. This is a very fun lifestyle, but it is also a serious one in that human beings are involved. Once the non-pysical damage is done, it may or may not heal. Have fun and mostly, my recommendation - care for each O/other.




VixenSara -> RE: New person (11/22/2006 8:40:04 PM)

Thanks so much for the advice,  I am in middle Tn 45 minutes outside of nashville. 


VixenSara




DevilsVendetta -> RE: New person (11/22/2006 10:31:57 PM)

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate and say move as quickly as possible. Your best bet to a lasting D/s relationship? Propose marriage ASAP!

Thought that would be more interesting than me also saying "move slowly".

Anywho, my one little added bit of advice, if you sub has some experience, actually listen to them. Don't fall for this whole "I'm a Dom, I should naturally know what to do, my sub expects me to know everything" crap. It doesn't work like that




VixenSara -> RE: New person (11/23/2006 7:01:34 AM)

Nope not doing the whole marraige thing again.  13 years of that hell was enough LOL.  Seriously moving slowly is what i need and is the best bet.


VixenSara




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