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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/1/2006 11:43:13 AM   
slaveMastery


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/20/2006
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You don't use a feather on your girl, but the entire chicken.

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Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/7/2006 5:18:46 PM   
ohbiguy32


Posts: 281
Joined: 9/2/2006
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When your neighbours keep asking "what is that contraption you are building in your garage"

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/7/2006 5:22:05 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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your favorite Christmas tune is the one with the whip cracking in it and that is the onlyy part you participate in it. ;)

Ross

Bon D' Age' : BDSM
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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/8/2006 8:16:36 AM   
candycoatedtoxin


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/25/2006
From: Mt. Holly, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveMastery

You don't use a feather on your girl, but the entire chicken.

*raises eyebrow*

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If it wasn't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

If I kill you, I WILL get health orbs.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/8/2006 8:25:27 AM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
Everything you buy from hair brushes to cutting boards can be used in and out of the play room.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/8/2006 9:37:33 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candycoatedtoxin

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveMastery

You don't use a feather on your girl, but the entire chicken.

*raises eyebrow*


Erotic is when you use a feather to arouse your partner, kinky is when you use the whole chicken.  

(in reply to candycoatedtoxin)
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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/8/2006 12:57:38 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
This one is true:

You borrow her kid's Junior Detective handcuffs to try out on your woman.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/8/2006 12:59:52 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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quote:

Erotic is when you use a feather to arouse your partner, kinky is when you use the whole chicken.


I can't stop laughing about the chicken.

(in reply to Saratov)
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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/12/2006 5:52:45 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
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       You can't remember how long that butt plug has been sitting on the shelf in the bathroom.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/12/2006 5:55:42 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
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the song "Unchained Melody" makes you cry. (out of longing)

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/12/2006 6:15:21 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
When you watch "Cops" reruns you drool at the takedown handcuffing parts.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/15/2006 9:30:33 PM   
daredevil865


Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
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You are diving in the winter time on a mountain and see a sign ...chains mandatory and you say what "are whips optional?"

DD

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DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/17/2006 1:07:04 AM   
JoyfulJezzabelle


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/8/2006
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline
When you go to the isle where they keep the chains in home depot, just so you can create the canopy over your bed.

When you tell someone that you've just built a homemade swing set, but you have no children, and the "swing" is hanging from the ceiling in the bedroom.

When you got to PetSmart to buy that beautiful "Harley Davidson" matching collar and leash...but you don't have a dog.

When you buy a pony cart at an auction, but you live in an upstairs apartment, and you have no ponies. 

When you tell people that, despite an extreme oral fixation,  you've recently lost 20 lbs on your new high protien diet, by stuffing your face with cock instead of food.

<<<A walking testement to the kinkiness above.

< Message edited by JoyfulJezzabelle -- 12/17/2006 1:49:13 AM >

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/17/2006 1:23:13 AM   
redvampiredragon


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline
When you go to hockey games cause your new sub is afraid of blood.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/17/2006 1:24:03 AM   
Kalyndrah


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline
You look forward to Halloween because you can get away with walking around on a collar and leash and NOT get funny looks in public.  ;-)

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/17/2006 1:25:36 AM   
Kalyndrah


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline
You pick fights with your roommate/friends because you LIKE the bruises, not because you actually had something to fight about.

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RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/17/2006 1:28:15 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
When you go to have chains cut in the hardware store and you have to call your boy over to have him measured before you can say exactly how long

When you make furniture decisions for your new home based on how easily someone can be cuffed or tied to them

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Kalyndrah)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/17/2006 1:54:48 AM   
JoyfulJezzabelle


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/8/2006
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline
When you salivate and wag "your" tail whenever you hear someone at "Dog Beach" shout "STAY".

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/18/2006 5:50:26 PM   
SlaveJeni


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline
I actually have a book like this, titled, "you know you're into KINKY SEX when..."  It's from the Ivory Tower publishing company.  It doesn't seem to have any particular author, though.  I got it at a drug store, in the greeting card asile.  The last publish date is 1983.  It constists of cartoons and a caption.

Here's a few from it:

You Know You're Into Kinky Sex When...

You go to the drugstore to pick up the pictures from your wild weekend, and the druggist offers to fight you for them.
(My imput:  Couldn't the druggist just ran himself off copies from the negatives...?)

You own more than one set of corduroy sheets.

You can't fall asleep unless your hand and ankles are bound together.

They ask why you want to enroll in military school, and you say, "For the spankinks."

A jar of body lotion explodes in your microwave oven.

Your wild party is raided, and the policeman can't complete the report until you help him spell "masochism".

Everyone going to the company convention asks to be your roommate.

You go into a store and ask for a pair of high-heeled, black leather shoes, and the clerk asks what size, and you say, "Who cares?"

Sex aid companies start to call you for testimonials.

You have a mirro in your toilet.

Should I post the rest?  I can if you like...

_____________________________

SlaveJeni{Steele}

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: You Know You're Kinky When... - 12/19/2006 10:35:07 AM   
SlaveJeni


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline
You have a mirro in your toilet.

That should read, "You have a mirror in your toilet."  Sorry about that.

Some more are::

You have tied up the paper boy at least three times this month.

Your legs fall alseep in the middle of hte night, and it takes you five minutes to find them.

You wake up one morning to find "Pain is Fun" tattooed over your heart.

Your blind date is wearing a wooden leg and has a parrot on his shoulder.

The guy living below you complains beacuse the sound of the mud wrestling is keep him awake.

The neighbor's kids ask to use your swing set.  (Note:  The pic is of swings over the bed...)

The dentist says, "Open wide," and you sigh, "Oh, Doctor!"

You open your refrigerator to look for a snack, and all you can find is edible panties.

You're invited to be the keynot speaker at a wife swapping convention.

You have a dinner party in your hot tub.

They need to throw a bucket of cold water on Santa after you get off his lap.

You finally have an orgasm in a taxicab.

You have mirrors on the floor as well as the ceiling.

You don't mind sharing underwear with your sex partner.

Everyone thinks you have acne, but you know they're really cleat marks. (Note:  On the guy's back.)

You have a venereal disease named after you.

You like to run newspaper ads which begin, "Wanted:  Moist Dwarf".

You get an obscene phone call, and at the end you beg for an encore.

You have a bidet in your car.

Everyone across the country is watching the World Series, but everyone in the ballpark is watching you.

Your bedroom window becomes a regular stop on the tour bus.

Hugh Heffner approaches you in a restaurant and asks for your autograph.

You have a pair of crotchless panties for every day of the year.

The word "Occuppado" is still imprinted in your back from the last time you did it in an airplane lavatory.

You are asked to leave the supermarket for being naughty with a carrot.

You are on a first name basis with more than one sheep.

You need to set aside one drawer in your bureau for your benwa ball collection.

The only phrase your parrot knows how to say is, "Oh, please, not the rubber suit again."  (Note:  In the cartoon, the priest is having tea with the couple when the parrot says this.)

You go to answer the door, then get embarrished because you're still wearing your tutu and your shoulder pads.  (Note:  It's a guy in the tutu and shoulder pads.)

You visit your planetarium and find that the huge, intergalactic telescope is trained on your bedroom window.

You have to go to the hospital because it got caught in someone else's zipper.  (Note:  These are two guys...)

Everytime you open your raincoat in a public place, women are afraid to look.

They ask you what you want for your birthday, and you say, "Ken and Barbie in Bondage".  (Note:  If ONLY!)

You get a dozen roses with a note that says, "Thanks for a great time last night," signed, "Spot".

And that's all of them!  (Gee, I typed a lot!  ) 

I hope you enjoyed them.







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SlaveJeni{Steele}

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