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NightWindWhisper -> RE: Too small? (11/26/2006 10:53:55 AM)
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Skarredwolfpuppy wrote: "I am not a virgin. Just recently, (yesterday to be exact) I had sex with a guy. For some reason my vagina was very tight, and I didn't have a very pleasant experience (I did like it a little,...but...) anyway, i was wondering why that happened? I am active and I workout a lot,..could this be a reason why?"
Frankly, I am a bit shocked at the responses from an RN and Ob/Gyn people.
Skarredwolfpuppy, rest assured that this person perceives how truly unsettling this must be for you. Indeed you seem to have a problem, but problems can be solved.
There appear two possibilities here. One is an odd one, and rarely seen, and I doubt that this is the case here. It is possible especially with a virgin (which you are not) with an intact and formidable hymen who attempts to have sex enough times with her partner such that the urethra, (believe it or not) can start to stretch such that the guy thinks he’s trying to enter your vagina but isn’t. Pain will always be the result.
The other reason is much more common, and by looking at your name may be a factor. Your name could have dual meanings, “Scarred wolf puppy,” or “Scared wolf puppy.” Either scarred (as in having experienced sexual trauma of some sort) or “scared” as in frightened; both connote tension,
and both can cause vaginismus. Vaginismus is a reflex reaction wherein the pubococcygeus muscle, also called the PC muscle tightens either involuntarily, too soon, or with too much force for too long a time.
No amount of exercise of the normal sort could create this condition, in my opinion. As any muscle though exercise will cause it to strengthen, and for instance, a young girl, who has been told that intercourse is painful, might find herself involuntarily tightening this muscle in an isometric way, and over time it may become quite developed, as for instance the biceps of a weight lifter might.
Yet the most overdeveloped muscle still would not be a problem. What would be is the involuntary contraction at the onset of the insertion of the penis into the vagina. Imagine your hand clenching a carrot. Now imagine that that carrot swells, and yet you cannot relax the muscles in your hand. Now imagine that the hand stays clenched far too long--the result would be pain.
I would suggest looking to your past experiences since you are not a virgin. Were they gratifying? If so, has some traumatic experience occurred
since then that might cause apprehension or fear, or anticipation of something negative? (Please do not answer these questions in forum.)
Check out this site, and/or do some research on vaginismus:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
You would be well advised to consult a medical practitioner to make sure that there is not a physical reason. Once confirmed that all is right physically, you could try many things including psychotherapy. If this does not suit you, consider that perhaps your partner might be willing (and may be rather turned on by the idea) of utilizing some dildos, starting with very skinny ones, and moving up as your pleasure and needs dictate. Any dominant, or any person, for that matter should be willing to take as much time as you need.
And consider too, that if your situation is caused by vaginismus, when you do learn to relax it appropriately, your partner may be immensely pleased at the way it tightens as a orgasmic response.
I hope that this might be helpful and that you find joy in your sexuality…a good cunt is a nasty thing to waste! (Sorry, the devil made me say that—darned devil!)
S
Oh, by the way...that weird site is weird, however within it there are some rather remarkable, and correct observations about human sexuality....check out the "crowning" of a male's glans penis as a sign of optimal penetration, as well as correct observations about how the vagina and penis can relate to each other internally.
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