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Public Play- Negotiation? - 2/11/2005 11:15:48 PM

Sarina50

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/6/2005
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I have played at home with partners for years and am interested to go out and try something new in public. My experience has been primarily with women, but I am interested in playing with a submissive male if I can find the right person

I am currently without a partner and interested in meeting subs for play only at local events, however having not negotiated for public play before I am looking for feedback from subs/switches regarding initial negotiation for public play scenes. There is an event tomorrow evening and I am seriously feeling the need to tie somebody up! Ha-ha

I would love to hear from you about what it is that you consider necessary [safety/limits/desired play,, etc.], what turns you off, what turns you on and any feedback you would care to share.

Look forward to hearing about your experiences.

-S

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RE: Public Play- Negotiation? - 2/12/2005 7:54:04 AM

sub4hire

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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When you say public I am assuming you mean a private party? Or private dungeon?

Public play is entirely different. You have to remember it is non consentual for all the parents watching and the children watching. People have done it. People will continue to do it. Although it does sound as if you are talking private play from your question.

People come to the parties I throw as singles at times. Most groups do not allow singles to come. For me it is a way to match other's up. Generally I know some of what their interests are prior. I know who is single in the group. So, I match people up.
The last two I did...have now been together 2 year's. Anyway at a private party they usually have a Dungeon Master. They keep the scene in hand. Because you are meeting someone today and want to play in an hour. You can't talk about a lot other than how much pain, what do you like...very brief to get an idea.
Make sure you have good communication while playing. I've watched people who never ask how the sub is feeling. I've also watched some who ask every minute. It is important especially with a stranger to know if they are enjoying. Espeically if you may want to play wtih them again someday.

Hopefully some of this makes sense.

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RE: Public Play- Negotiation? - 2/12/2005 9:48:14 AM

oceangem

Posts: 360
Joined: 2/9/2004
From: Mission, BC. Canada
Status: offline

Hi Sarina,

The event that i think You are talking is about Sincity. It has a small dungeon play area and there are DMs that monitor all the play. There are some restrictions to what You can do there for a play scene eg bondage, whips, floggers etc...but no electrical play.

Rascals is a much better venue for more equipment, bigger area, and they encourage Ppeople to meet and play with wearing some sort of sticker. The negotiation part is entirely up to You and the person You play with. If its to tie someone up, i am sure You will find it more at Rascal then You would at Sincity. Again Rascals has all the safety in place with DMs to watch over. Rascals is next weekend Saturday Feb 19 begins at 8 pm. Contact me here if You would like more information i can pass on some web pages so that You may read.

_____________________________

she gives a smile when the pain comes... the pain is gonna make everything alright.

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RE: Public Play- Negotiation? - 2/12/2005 10:52:13 AM

Sarina50

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

sub4hire,
Thank you for pointing out the public versus private playspace. Of course I meant I was going to be attending an indoor event controlled by Dungeon Monitors-but I forgot to clarify that. I'm also an agreement about what you said about "public" play. I think it's terribly arrogant for someone to flaunt themselves/their sub in public for their own pleasure without taking into consideration those who might see them and be greatly disturbed by it- especially children!

What you said about playing at a party is something I was also considering. In the past, my submissives have been people that I have known quite well and had relationships with. I always found it very satisfying to be able to get into somebody's head space-something which I question when you have just met somebody at a play party.

I've been approached many times to play with people at parties, but always turned them down in the past either because I felt I didn't know them well enough or they were using substance/drinking.

But things change, there is a definite difference between topping and domination and I think a little topping at a play party to be a lot of fun!

This is why I am asking about the actual negotiation before hand from submissives point of view. If you were single and meeting a Domme at a play party, what is it that you would want to hear in the negotiation that would satisfy you?

I realize every submissives is different-but feedback is always very helpful.

-S

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oceangem-thanks for your comments!
I'm very familiar with both these events and tell the exact same thing to people that I know ;-)

Rascals is my favorite event [Brian has the best equipment, don't you think?], Sin City is okay, but you have to be on your toes because there are a lot of people in a very small space. Aren't you glad they got the DM's in there so that people aren't walking through the scenes anymore?! Ha ha

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RE: Public Play- Negotiation? - 2/12/2005 11:04:01 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

This is why I am asking about the actual negotiation before hand from submissives point of view. If you were single and meeting a Domme at a play party, what is it that you would want to hear in the negotiation that would satisfy you?

If all the circumstances were there for me. Just to know the DM is going to be there to watch over me. If you knew my limits. Knew somewhat of what play I liked. Usually most describe it beforehand. My Dom doesn't but then he is my dom to.
Usually they say, I'd like to flog you. Do you want it hard or soft? Marked, unmarked? This flogger good?
Stuff like that.
Even paddles vary deeply from paddle to paddle.
Let me pick it up...look it over first. I'd agree.
Just basics but let me know I'm going to be safe too.
Oh, and ask me during a lot if I'm ok.

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RE: Public Play- Negotiation? - 2/12/2005 11:11:14 AM

Sarina50

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Oh, and ask me during a lot if I'm ok.

For me, that's a given! It lets my submissive know she's taking care of and appreciated and it lets me know how they are doing and how far I can still push them ;-)

Thanks for the feedback.
-S

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