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24/7? - 2/12/2005 9:50:07 AM

f0rbidden

Posts: 8
Status: offline

hi everyone.

i pride myself on being a 24/7 slave, and yet...sometimes...i don't really feel very slavelike. it's not that i'm not being myself or am unable to relax, or whatever...but sometimes there is so much else going on in our home and in our lives and it all seems to take over.

has anyone else dealth with this? experienced this? do you have any suggestions on how to stay in the here and now when there are so many other pressing things going on at the same time?

let me know if that doesn't make sense, i'm not feeling very logical right now :O)

thank you!

Post #: 1

RE: 24/7? - 2/12/2005 10:51:03 AM

strongnsubmissiv

Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

Hey forbidden...

24/7 is a funny term and it's definition means different things to different people. I think regardless of what goes on in your life, the dynamic between you and your master will always be there 24/7, it's just that sometimes the submissive "mindset" gets lost when everyday vanilla life gets busy.

Here's a couple of ideas that would keep me focused, perhaps you might implement them into your busy schedule; with master's permission of course. :)

Daily rituals, rules or expectations are fabulous, because they are usually requirements that you hash out with your partner at a time when mindset is good. Regardless of what goes on in your daily life, making sure you take the time to perform these rituals (whatever they may be) is something you have to make room for in your daily activities. So no matter how busy you are or how preoccupied you are by vanilla life, rituals can bring you back to the mindset you're missing so much.

- When he arrives home and you are in the house, it's expected that you must kneel and remove his shoes.

- Perhaps he enjoys a cup of coffee at a particular time, every day.

- If you sit down at the table to eat, you may not touch your cutlery, until master has taken his first bite.

- You may not sit on furniture at any time. (Perhaps dinner is an exception)

Something else that surprised me as being very rewarding for mindset, is keeping an online journal of daily thoughts. Something that master would have access to, just to make sure you are writing every day.

A free journalling website: Diaryland.com

sns

_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 2

RE: 24/7? - 2/12/2005 12:10:09 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

You are not alone, this thread may help you:

staying in slave mode

There are other threads on 24/7 which i will try to find for you when i have more time.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 3

RE: 24/7? - 2/12/2005 12:21:02 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Here's one more thread for you:

nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7...

< Message edited by proudsub -- 2/12/2005 12:28:10 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 4

RE: 24/7? - 2/13/2005 3:25:02 AM

cailinTC

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

f0rbidden,

yes, in fact, cailin does feel a little less "slave-like" at times. she believes it is due to being in a rut. The whole everyday work thing and routines that Master and His girl face. cailin read someone's post on this the other day and has since started a ritual in the morning, while Master is still sleeping and it is just about to awaken, she pours His coffee, and then serves it to Him after she wakes Him up with precious little kisses on His arms. (believe it or not, He actually likes it). Since cailin has started this, it brings her into the day with the thought of pleasing Him and serving Him. just an idea...

~His cailin

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 5

RE: 24/7? - 2/13/2005 7:30:23 AM

f0rbidden

Posts: 8
Status: offline

thanks to those who replied! i will show these to Master and see what He thinks..i do believe we need to add some 'ritual' type things into our daily grind..i'll let you know how it goes!

_____________________________

proudly owned slave of Wardancer
f0rbidden

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 6

RE: 24/7? - 2/13/2005 8:18:11 AM

christne

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

I had posted one of our rituals (coffee in bed) on thread "staying in slave mode" mentioned by proud sub.

Some additonal rituals we use:

- Permission to join Master at the dinner table once he has been seated and everything he needs and desires is out on the table and I am told to sit. I do this even with non-lifestyle guests just slightly more subdued. When dining out, I never sit without ensuring where I should be seated. Master orders for me and I never open the menu as unless directed to take care of it for both of us (usually when Master is doing business on the phone or when I get a treat and he takes us out for thai food). All meals are eaten together unless Master's schedule overrides it.

- Master is dressed first in the morning. Then I am given permission to dress based on what is on the schedule for the day.

- If Master is out without me I am at the door to greet him when he comes home with a kiss and then I relieve him of anything he is carrying in and fetch a drink.

- At bedtime he is given a back rub if he desires it, his ice cream and a glass of water.

- When in the same room with Master permission to leave the room is required.

- When driving in the car, my hand is always placed on his thigh.

All of this is really just little things but they make a huge impact on my day. I hope they helped.

_____________________________

~ www.artofchristine.com ~

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 7

RE: 24/7? - 2/13/2005 9:26:14 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i pride myself on being a 24/7 slave, and yet...sometimes...i don't really feel very slavelike. it's not that i'm not being myself or am unable to relax, or whatever...but sometimes there is so much else going on in our home and in our lives and it all seems to take over.

Last month a very good friend of mine sat down with me and asked me how I do it all yet stay sane.
I have a very happy life. A very depressing life. A very full life. Just depends on the day and how much I can cram in. I don't identify with a slave like existance. Yet, most I know in real life identify me with being one.
For us as other's have said I have certain things I must do each day. You may have your kids to look out for and a job..the house or what have you. He can still tell you what to wear can he not? You could still check in with him during the day, could you not?
Just certain things to make you both remember that he is your's and you are his.

It becomes simple after you do it a while. Only starts out with work.
You'll get the hang of it in no time.

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 8

RE: 24/7? - 2/14/2005 7:47:35 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

This happens to dominants as well, daily life sneaks up on us all. Past experience taught me to make a concerted effort to reminded myself as well as my submissive at least once a day of the roles we have chosen in our lives, even if it is something so simple as having him sit at my feet while we talk. This is an excellant topic, thank you so much for bringing it up.

ShiftedJewel

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 9

RE: 24/7? - 2/16/2005 8:07:51 AM

shaohua

Posts: 21
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

For me being a 24/7 slave is difficult at times, and i do feel that i am not being very "slavelike". But then one day it hit me...having life interfere and get in the way is just part of life. But the dynamic between my Master and myself is never gone. Being a slave includes doing vanilla things which ingeneral will have to be done and seem overwhelming at times.

i do agree that a sort of ritual somewhere somehow no matter how small would help keep you in your "space" so to speak.

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 10

RE: 24/7? - 2/17/2005 11:26:48 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: f0rbidden

has anyone else dealth with this? experienced this? do you have any suggestions on how to stay in the here and now when there are so many other pressing things going on at the same time?

Everyone experiences this. Doms to not always feel like actively dominating. I am bisexual, but I don't always feel like having sex.

How we FEEL can change often.

Who are ARE is constant.

As well, submission isn't based on feelings, though it's always nice to have that yummy headspace. It's about how we ACT, it's about holding to our commitments to obey.

And you can do that no matter how you might be feeling. In fact, obeying is often the best way to GET you feeling submissive again.

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 11

RE: 24/7? - 2/25/2005 8:19:13 PM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

I smiles when I read this, because I've had the same feelings as of late. I talked to Master about it. The first thing he asked.... well his first response was.. "were you about my business today?" I just looked at him. It seemed almost silly at first... then I said.... well yes.

I hope this helps, it seems silly and simple. But simple really does work well most times. Especilly when the rest of our lives can be so full.

Tempest's pet

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 12

RE: 24/7? - 7/8/2005 1:54:53 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: f0rbidden

hi everyone.

i pride myself on being a 24/7 slave, and yet...sometimes...i don't really feel very slavelike. it's not that i'm not being myself or am unable to relax, or whatever...but sometimes there is so much else going on in our home and in our lives and it all seems to take over.

has anyone else dealth with this? experienced this? do you have any suggestions on how to stay in the here and now when there are so many other pressing things going on at the same time?

let me know if that doesn't make sense, i'm not feeling very logical right now :O)

thank you!

==============
your first mistake is; there is NO logic to human emotions.
2nd thing i add myself, is that, no matter HOW i feel, i am still in performance. there are days everyone gets out of bed and says oh yuck. but "I" myself went to work roofing 12 stories up with a fever of 106 and still worked. my FEELINGS are not relevant to it.

take care the wolf

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 13

RE: 24/7? - 7/8/2005 5:47:03 AM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

I dont disagree with you, emerald, however I do think it is funny because I have always said being a slave isn't about actions, its about attitude. Now, when I think on this all over again, a slave must be given the opportunity to serve in order to feel as he/she needs to be fulfilled. What is serving? Always a verb? No, so it is my conclusion that everything must have balance.

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 14

RE: 24/7? - 7/8/2005 5:50:16 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Synocense

I dont disagree with you, emerald, however I do think it is funny because I have always said being a slave isn't about actions, its about attitude. Now, when I think on this all over again, a slave must be given the opportunity to serve in order to feel as he/she needs to be fulfilled. What is serving? Always a verb? No, so it is my conclusion that everything must have balance.

Syn

I agree, my words were not as clear as they should have been and I appreciate you pointing that out. There is no such thing as a "submissive act." To clarify, I simply meant that being a submissive isn't about whether you have those lovely fuzzies inside on a particular day, but an overall sense of commitment and fulfillment as a submissive. And I find the best way to work through those hard days when you don't FEEL like doing it, is just to do it anyway.

(in reply to Synocense)

Post #: 15

RE: 24/7? - 7/8/2005 6:14:50 AM

sabis

Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline

quote:

f0rbidden asked: ...sometimes...i don't really feel very slavelike. (snip) has anyone else dealth with this? experienced this? do you have any suggestions on how to stay in the here and now when there are so many other pressing things going on at the same time?

Forbidden, you just touched on one of the greatest challenges to any sub/slave in today's world... especially those who have to work outside the home. It's hard to make that mental shift sometimes.

Others have suggested ritual, which i strongly second. Structure can help a lot. So can communication.

"Master, i want to meet Your needs this evening. Please know, Sir, that i have many household chores that also need to be done. Could You please prioritize for me?"

Sometimes the answer may be that the dishes wait until another night, and others, you might get a spank on the rump for being a good girl giving Him the decision, and told to get a-cleanin.

My Dominant specifically gives me 'putter' time - i can paint, read, download porn, sew, cook, whatever I want to do in my own space and time. I still need to be ready to attend His needs if his drink glass gets empty, but i'm okay to just 'do my thang.' He knows that time to myself helpes restore my inner reserves and that allows me to serve Him better.

~ sabis

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 16

RE: 24/7? - 7/8/2005 6:28:40 PM

teapaw

Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

For me, submission is based on feelings. I dont get a feeling of yummy headspace, I get security and stability which lasts me 24/7....
pamela.

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 17

RE: 24/7? - 7/9/2005 12:08:12 AM

bottominwa

Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Much of all of life is purely "framing"...especially in a D/s context which in each house is largely egocentric in nature....W/we frame who and what O/our existence is...it's a human reaction...humans like life to have meaning.
So where am i going with this....i live in a peculiar 24/7 in that in the course of Our almost ten years of marriage now, Master has been also "married" to the Army as it were, and is gone exstensively...so i have become a bit of a "Master" myself at staying on track or "in frame" as a slave. You think you get the blahs or don't feel real slavey...try six or even twelve months of no contact but the computer or a call here or there...amidst chores and kids to raise...oh and the fabulous news of the war that has you too terrified to sleep most nights...

So, i know the blahs...and i combat them by "framing". Making my life have meaning in an otherwise chaotic existence. Journal, ritual...any thing that gives you a purpose and a base to ground to as a slave/servant/sub can get you through the blahs.

And always remember first and foremost you are a human being, and therefore fallable...if He wanted a robot He would go to Honda.

sabrina King

House of King

(in reply to teapaw)

Post #: 18

RE: 24/7? - 7/9/2005 8:45:43 AM

fourpeas

Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline

Also, too, it's important to remember just what you signed up for. I don't think any of us signed up to be a 24/7 slave to live and a slave to everything around us. Guess what -- I don't *have* to feel slavelike in my job or in my life outside of my Dom... In fact he doesn't want me to. I don't think many Masters would want us to be slaves to anything but them. For me, being a slave means that I am to enjoy work, I am to be a rockstar in the world, I am to go out and rock and have fun and be happy.. It's actually a command that I'm given!!! So I don't think being a 24/7 slave means being a 24/7 slave to life, to your job, to people in the outside world, etc. That's just my opinion.

It is hard to make the shift and some of the rituals that people described can definitely help you get your head wrapped around service once you get home. And as everyone pointed out it's not about the fuzzies. Good days, all...

(in reply to bottominwa)

Post #: 19

RE: 24/7? - 7/9/2005 8:47:13 AM

fourpeas

Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline

Also, too, it's important to remember just what you signed up for. I don't think any of us signed up to be a 24/7 slave to life and a slave to everything around us. Guess what -- I don't *have* to feel slavelike in my job or in my life outside of my Dom... In fact he doesn't want me to. I don't think many Masters would want us to be slaves to anything but them. For me, being a slave means that I am to enjoy work, I am to be a rockstar in the world, I am to go out and rock and have fun and be happy.. It's actually a command that I'm given!!! So I don't think being a 24/7 slave means being a 24/7 slave to life, to your job, to people in the outside world, etc. That's just my opinion.

It is hard to make the shift and some of the rituals that people described can definitely help you get your head wrapped around service once you get home. And as everyone pointed out it's not about the fuzzies. Good days, all...

(in reply to f0rbidden)

Post #: 20

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