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Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 12:43:00 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		 Hi, i am new to collarme.com and i was wondering how my profile looks to the Mistresses out there. i have looked at quite a few profiles of submissives and am not sure if my approach could use some changes. i think it explaines what i am looking for in a relationship but i feel  that adding some kind of "wish list" of play favorites is a little bit to foreward. My question is this : As a Mistress , what do You look for in a profile?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 12:51:31 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I liked your profile Toystory, and the hottie eye candy pic is a bonus *winks*

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 12:54:17 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Your profile seems well written and does include at least in the checkbox area some personal interests outside of kink, but I'm not sure I would respond to it because it only draws a picture of just another random male sub rather than someone who is an interesting human being with a personality, hobbies, goals in life, etc, that might be similar enough to mine that I would want to get to know them as a person and spend time with them.

What I am personally looking for in a profile would be the male version of my own profile, more or less.  Or anything depicting a real human being with a personality, intelligence, interests in real life, etc, who also happens to be a submissive male.  Profiles that put the kink first and have little else in them do not appeal to me, and actually turn me off a lot.  If I don't like someone enough as a person to want to spend time with them and cultivate a real friendship to start with, I definitely do not want to play with them. 

But not everyone's priorities are in this order, so opinions may vary. 



(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 1:05:36 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		Thank You Mistress Wolfen!

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 1:13:25 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		Mistress Najakcharmer, thank You for your response. You have a great point there, my profie is sort of bland as far as my personality goes..........i wasent sure if talking a lot about my self is good or bad. i have a lot more to say but i know i have to boil it down to the essentials.Thank You for the input

(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 1:56:24 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		Toystory,
 
Welcome to CollarMe.
 
I could not read your profile since it pending approval,however; I can tell you what I look for in a profile.
 
A photos is a huge thing for me. Why? Because it is the first thing I see before deciding to read further.
 
A conversation-style writing style works best in my opinion. Use your imagination. See your ideal partener(insert approriate label here) sitting right in front of you.
 
Tell him or her a little about yourself.
 
Say what you like to do and what makes you exciting.
 
Describe yourself.(your interests,hobbies, what makes you good company, what do you bring to the relationship).
 
Be honest. Be sincere. Above all, don't lie.
 
Also remember many check to see if a member is active on the forums and will search out and read their posts to see how they conduct themselves here.
 
I hope your journey is an enjoyable one.


_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 7:01:49 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		Nika, thank's for the input , expecialy the part about having " your ideal partner sitting right in front of you"......that helps! Sorry for not being able to view my profile, i got going right away loading pics and trying to open up.Take care, toy

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 9:43:53 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Hello toy, welcome to CM.
 
In my opinion, your profile is a good one! Nice pic, you're upfront with your likes, limits & willingness to try new things. I don't see anything I'd change... but perhaps you could add something as to what your hobbies are? For example, do you cook (and what is your specialty)? Have you tried any 'extreme' sports (ie skydiving)? Any collections (comics, movies, general oddities, women )?
 
The only other thing I can think of is for you to list what type of relationship you are looking for - you state that you are bisexual... does this mean you are looking for poly, or are just open to it? Would you be satisfied with a monogomous relationship? I've known of many Dommes who stay away from bi's because of the assumption that a bi person needs to have the other sex as well, and isn't truely capable of monogomy.
 
My 0.0002 cents bit.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Good Profile? - 11/25/2006 10:32:54 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toystory

Mistress Najakcharmer, thank You for your response. You have a great point there, my profie is sort of bland as far as my personality goes..........i wasent sure if talking a lot about my self is good or bad. i have a lot more to say but i know i have to boil it down to the essentials.Thank You for the input


I think it depends a lot on what you are looking for.  If you're looking for a domme who is focused mainly on the kinky play and who might not care who you are as a person as long as you're a hottie, it's appropriate to focus more on the kinky aspects of who you are and leave out the deeper stuff about who you are as a person, your hopes and dreams, your real life, etc.   If you're looking to connect with a human being who is also a domme for friendship, enjoyable times together and/or possibly a relationship, I'd recommend being more "real" in your profile. 

And yeah, you're a hottie.  ;)  But that still wouldn't entice me personally to contact you unless you were also intelligent and interesting and shared enough of my non kink interests to connect as friends first.   Other people's mileage may vary, but for me, good looks and compatibility in kink gets old real fast if that's all there is in the situation.  I require good conversation with someone intellectually and socially compatible.  With your current profile, no one can tell whether they might be compatible with you in those ways, and you could be missing a chance to connect with a domme who shares enough of your interests and tastes to really want to spend time in your company. 

(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Good Profile? - 11/26/2006 7:03:40 AM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Hello toy, welcome to CM.
 
In my opinion, your profile is a good one! Nice pic, you're upfront with your likes, limits & willingness to try new things. I don't see anything I'd change... but perhaps you could add something as to what your hobbies are? For example, do you cook (and what is your specialty)? Have you tried any 'extreme' sports (ie skydiving)? Any collections (comics, movies, general oddities, women )?
 
The only other thing I can think of is for you to list what type of relationship you are looking for - you state that you are bisexual... does this mean you are looking for poly, or are just open to it? Would you be satisfied with a monogomous relationship? I've known of many Dommes who stay away from bi's because of the assumption that a bi person needs to have the other sex as well, and isn't truely capable of monogomy.
 
My 0.0002 cents bit.



Mikal, thanks for the input! i have uploaded some pics of me ( skiing , my Turntables, my wheelchair lit up at a rave, etc...) Yea, i have had some conflicted feelings concerning how to express my sexuality. i am bi but i dont "fall" for men or like to be Dominaited by them. i love to do certain things ,  if compelled by my Mistress. Monogamy has never been a problem for me but that is something that can only be shown over time.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Good Profile? - 11/26/2006 7:18:44 AM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toystory

Mistress Najakcharmer, thank You for your response. You have a great point there, my profie is sort of bland as far as my personality goes..........i wasent sure if talking a lot about my self is good or bad. i have a lot more to say but i know i have to boil it down to the essentials.Thank You for the input


I think it depends a lot on what you are looking for.  If you're looking for a domme who is focused mainly on the kinky play and who might not care who you are as a person as long as you're a hottie, it's appropriate to focus more on the kinky aspects of who you are and leave out the deeper stuff about who you are as a person, your hopes and dreams, your real life, etc.   If you're looking to connect with a human being who is also a domme for friendship, enjoyable times together and/or possibly a relationship, I'd recommend being more "real" in your profile. 

And yeah, you're a hottie.  ;)  But that still wouldn't entice me personally to contact you unless you were also intelligent and interesting and shared enough of my non kink interests to connect as friends first.   Other people's mileage may vary, but for me, good looks and compatibility in kink gets old real fast if that's all there is in the situation.  I require good conversation with someone intellectually and socially compatible.  With your current profile, no one can tell whether they might be compatible with you in those ways, and you could be missing a chance to connect with a domme who shares enough of your interests and tastes to really want to spend time in your company. 



Najakcharmer, Thank You for the compliment :) i do need to be more specific about what i would like out of a relationship. i am not just looking for kink and  hope to find someone i can have a lasting relationship with. i  dont want to sound to " sappy",  but i am a romantic at heart. Note: this can be good and bad. An interests section ( outside of BDSM ) sounds like an good idea, Thank You , toy

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Good Profile? - 11/26/2006 12:17:33 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		Toystory,
 
Your very welcome and I hope it helps you. I was able to read your profile today and I must say that I am impressed it painted a picture of you not just as a submissive but as a man.
 
The pictures also say alot about who you are. Your a very handsom man by the way.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 11/26/2006 12:18:37 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Good Profile? - 11/27/2006 12:31:27 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa

Toystory,
 
Your very welcome and I hope it helps you. I was able to read your profile today and I must say that I am impressed it painted a picture of you not just as a submissive but as a man.
 
The pictures also say alot about who you are. Your a very handsom man by the way.
 
Nika, Thanks again. Good luck to You to, its great to see that You have found sombody special. toy

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Good Profile? - 11/27/2006 2:00:47 PM   
TheDiva


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline 		I agree with Najakcharmer; I want to see an indication that the sub and I have something in common besides an interest in kink. I also look for proper spelling and good grammar. Another rule of thumb: if you can't be interesting, be brief...otherwise my eyes start glazing over somewhere near paragraph #4.

Comments on your profile specifically: I like the name and overall you sell yourself well. Pics are always good (especially if you're eye candy). Good luck in your search. ;)

(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Good Profile? - 11/27/2006 4:52:42 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		You've done well on the profile & hopefully others reading it can appreciate the fact that you have done a good job with it as well.

My main reason for replying is to let you know that most often new members are overwhelmed by the "site sharks". The site sharks are those who are in a constant feeding frenzy ready for every scrap of fresh meat (new members) that hit the water.

I also wanted to mention that I was in the Tampa area for over 13 yrs & still remain in touch with the community over there. Tampa has a great scene & some really good people in it.

Good luck with the site & welcome to the boards.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Good Profile? - 11/28/2006 2:18:27 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheDiva

I agree with Najakcharmer; I want to see an indication that the sub and I have something in common besides an interest in kink. I also look for proper spelling and good grammar. Another rule of thumb: if you can't be interesting, be brief...otherwise my eyes start glazing over somewhere near paragraph #4.

Comments on your profile specifically: I like the name and overall you sell yourself well. Pics are always good (especially if you're eye candy). Good luck in your search. ;)


The Diva, Thank You for the help :) i think revealing who i am on a "profile" is harder than  explaining the Kink part........... here goes'
 

BTW: Your profile is great!  Great pics, Short , to the point, with a touch of humor.............nice.

toy

(in reply to TheDiva)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Good Profile? - 11/28/2006 2:39:21 PM   
Toystory


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

You've done well on the profile & hopefully others reading it can appreciate the fact that you have done a good job with it as well.

My main reason for replying is to let you know that most often new members are overwhelmed by the "site sharks". The site sharks are those who are in a constant feeding frenzy ready for every scrap of fresh meat (new members) that hit the water.

I also wanted to mention that I was in the Tampa area for over 13 yrs & still remain in touch with the community over there. Tampa has a great scene & some really good people in it.

Good luck with the site & welcome to the boards.


Mistress Passion, Thank you for the compliment and i appreciate You helping out.  As far as the Sharks are concerned,  i have recieved a couple weird e-mails ( and a phone number from a very strange man). For the most part Everybody here has been great, and hey, im learning as i go along.
You are from Tampa! You are so right about the scene here.  i have met some great people and gone to some fun clubs........  I love your profile ( beautiful eyes) and i think the             " Ps: Sunshine " part is brilliant.;)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Good Profile? - 11/28/2006 5:43:29 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		This is a good topic discussion. I'm not really good at talking about myself, so I lurked around at other submissive male profiles. Many of them were very, very short with no real good insight on who the person is. I then went around looking at the submissive female profiles, and many of the ones I saw were very well written. Men seem to have problems with writting about themselves it seems. I think your profile is one of the best ones I have seen written by a sub male.  

(in reply to Toystory)
Profile   Post #: 18
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