When does submission begin?

When does submission begin? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

CrazyC -> When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 8:39:35 PM)
Ok so how new am i? So new that i did something last night that has left me confused today. My word is gold, and when i say it i mean it. But last night in a altered state, i assume sub space, i told this guy i was his sub completely. I have noticed other Doms do the same thing, but i have always been able to catch myself. I was pretty sure we understood that the timing wasn't right even though we seem to have this very strong connection. LOL This feeling almost feels like...the morning after being really drunk. But this isn't a bad thing, i am just wondering what i gave him. Was it just a moment thing, and now everything is back to normal. Or did i give myself to my Dom? I remember after everything, he told me that now my dreams were his dreams too and that he wanted me to accomplish all the goals i have for myself. Sorry probably sounds so silly, but i really never did anything like this. -c

Kalira -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 8:52:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyC Ok so how new am i? So new that i did something last night that has left me confused today. My word is gold, and when i say it i mean it. But last night in a altered state, i assume sub space, i told this guy i was his sub completely. I have noticed other Doms do the same thing, but i have always been able to catch myself. I was pretty sure we understood that the timing wasn't right even though we seem to have this very strong connection. LOL This feeling almost feels like...the morning after being really drunk. But this isn't a bad thing, i am just wondering what i gave him. Was it just a moment thing, and now everything is back to normal. Or did i give myself to my Dom? I remember after everything, he told me that now my dreams were his dreams too and that he wanted me to accomplish all the goals i have for myself. Sorry probably sounds so silly, but i really never did anything like this. -c Hmm lol. Have you asked him what he thought you 'gave' him? Personally, if you are having doubts about what you did, then I would pull back and assess if that is what you really want.

theRose4U -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 9:17:31 PM)
My thought is if you didn't wake up with a collar around your neck it's time for a long talk. Frankly anyone making large decisions based on the utterences of orgasm or sub space is a fool. One of my boys uttered that he wanted to be married, another a deep desire to be feminized while in sub space. When it was later brought up in discussion they looked at me horrified, "I said WHAT".

SamKeithsslave -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 9:21:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyC Ok so how new am i? So new that i did something last night that has left me confused today. My word is gold, and when i say it i mean it. But last night in a altered state, i assume sub space, i told this guy i was his sub completely. I have noticed other Doms do the same thing, but i have always been able to catch myself. I was pretty sure we understood that the timing wasn't right even though we seem to have this very strong connection. Saying your his completely could be akin to you saying you love him, maybe this was what you intended to say?? You could always take it back a'la Mr Sheffield in The Nanny? [:D]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 9:29:09 PM)
You gave him whatever you feel you gave him. There's nothing wrong with letting go in a moment of passion and letting yourself BE in that moment fully and completely "his." A moment of passionate bliss does not a lifetime commitment make.

CrazyC -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 10:08:45 PM)
I don't regret it at all. Like LA mentioned, i just don't know if it is a moment thing or was it more. No i didn't wake up with a collar on my neck. It would be hard for him to do, since he was in another state. I am wondering though if i should tell other Doms to back off, since seem to find myself controlled.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 10:17:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyC I don't regret it at all. Like LA mentioned, i just don't know if it is a moment thing or was it more. No i didn't wake up with a collar on my neck. It would be hard for him to do, since he was in another state. I am wondering though if i should tell other Doms to back off, since seem to find myself controlled. "Find yourself controlled" is quite a passive approach to take. While I realize that energy can simply sweep us wherever it will- WE still remain responsible for walking down that path and choosing the next step. However, again a moment of blissful passion does NOT a relationship make. It MAY be more, it MAY just be some of your hot hormone fuzzies over romanticizing a really sexy conversation. Lots of time spent together offline will be the only way to know if you will work together long term. I think you let yourself get a bit overwhelmed and now you're keeping the spinning going. Nothings changed since last night, you just happened to have a really hot experience. If you CHOOSE to allow this other person the authority over yourself, it would be polite to let any other suitors you have at the moment know that you've made the decision to become serious with someone and are no longer available. But I don't see a reason to make that choice based on a moment of passion. It WAS a moment of passion. What it BECOMES is completely up to you.

RexLongBeach -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/28/2006 10:28:35 PM)
At the risk of citing a worn cliche, it might be a good time to communicate with your partner about what you said, what you thought it meant, whether you still mean it, whether he's interested in it (and of so to what degree), etc. The feelings of Dominance and submission are powerful, and perhaps they caught you unaware of the impact they might have on you. No harm is done - and it certainly was a good way to get the ball rolling, yes? BTW, it would also be good for you to take some time and reflect on all this just on your own. Good luck and have fun, Rex

slavemaia -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/29/2006 5:53:02 PM)
Yes, i'd say a heavy dose of communication is in order. Assumptions on either of your parts will only keep it all very confusing. Don't be afraid to talk about it and try to understand it completely. You will either grow closer or find out yes, it was just a one time thing.

Daddysredhead -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/29/2006 6:45:26 PM)
Hey there Crazy... I have to go along with the majority here, and say talk about what happened, and if it meant anything more than "crop talk" (little twist on pillow talk) to him or to you. There have been times that things have escaped my lips that Daddy has heard me say that I may or may not have actually meant when caught up in the moment. There's no shame in saying something that was due to a wonderful experience, and having mean that there was a connection for that period in time. Just make sure that both of you understand the meaning behind it and that no one makes any hasty decisions based on something that may or may not have been due to a delicious cocktail of chemicals racing through your body. ~ the RedHead [sm=preen.gif]

LTRsubNW -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/29/2006 6:48:04 PM)
Guys never (and would never) worry about this kind of thing.

goodpet -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/29/2006 6:59:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead I have to go along with the majority here, and say talk about what happened, and if it meant anything more than "crop talk" (little twist on pillow talk) to him or to you. ~ the RedHead [sm=preen.gif] Ok when i first read this i could not figure out why you would be talking about plants and farming... then.... DUH..

goodpet -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/29/2006 7:08:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RexLongBeach At the risk of citing a worn cliche, it might be a good time to communicate with your partner about what you said, .....No harm is done - and it certainly was a good way to get the ball rolling, yes? BTW, it would also be good for you to take some time and reflect on all this just on your own. Rex I, like others here, find the idea of talking about it the best thing to do. sometime to think on your own then a good old fashion sit down with the Dom might be in order.. and as Lucky Albatross has said, "A moment of passionate bliss does not a lifetime commitment make." After an intense, hot scene, with the needle count hitting 86 i moan that "i belong to you" to the Top i was playing with.. He was wise enough to know that for the moment i was His.. but that commitment decision have to be made with a clear head and thought out, not in a moment of passion or deep in subbie land. i am in a deeply committed slave relationship and my service and submission to Sir has taken a long time to grow and deepen, not something that happen in a flash.

Daddysredhead -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/29/2006 8:03:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodpet quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead I have to go along with the majority here, and say talk about what happened, and if it meant anything more than "crop talk" (little twist on pillow talk) to him or to you. ~ the RedHead [sm=preen.gif] Ok when i first read this i could not figure out why you would be talking about plants and farming... then.... DUH.. giggles Hi, GP! silly girl... [:D] (will talk to you on the flip side soon, right now, i need to go to bed... per Master...) "Red"

agirl -> RE: When does submission begin? (11/30/2006 3:44:06 AM)
I think that, perhaps, if you're wondering what you gave.......and other doms have made you feel that way , even if you caught yourself before you uttered anything........you are looking at a feeling. Giving yourself in a moment of time with heightened senses..... and giving yourself to something/someone in the cold light of day, with thought, consideration and logic are different things. Maybe you did give yourself in that moment.......maybe that's all it was...maybe you meant it in a more solid way. Either way ......it's probably a good idea to be aware of what you're giving, how much, to whom and why. agirl

pixelslave -> RE: When does submission begin? (12/2/2006 8:21:46 AM)
Crazy, What you've described is the reason I do not play casually with a woman that I have not spent time getting to know well and feel as though there is the potential for a LTR. For me personally, I have learned that once I begin to give her my submission, I will begin to fall for her like a rock as I let my feelings and emotions loose. Perhaps you are similar in this regard? Many years ago, I learned that one night stands were not very satisfying for me as they didn't seem to meet my emotional needs. I discovered that I needed to know a woman before I allowed myself to get intimate with her. It wasn't a case where I wasn't aroused from being near her, only that I needed an emotional and mental connection for it to really work for me so that I would feel truly satisfied when we were together. I once had a Domme tell me that she would make me fall in love with her as we were just beginning to have a relationship, and she was correct. I quickly discovered that for other reasons she was not the one for me. Things ended before I got myself in too deeply, but it took some time for me to let go of those feelings as I had already begun to give her my submission in a big way and to let my emotions loose. I don' know if this helps you, but it might provide some insight into how you might be wired as we're all different in this regard. Some can play casually and some of us cannot. - pixel

angharad -> RE: When does submission begin? (12/3/2006 9:19:09 AM)
I find myself catching myself, biting my tongue when I am in moments of intense emotion, subspace, mind plays... what ever you want to call it because I take my word seriously and I dont want to say anything I dont mean when I wake up, calm down... I dont want to give something and then say ooops hang on, let me take that back! Reading this thread though has made me consider that this is a barrier to me letting go and enjoying my freedom in serving, enduring or passion. Perhaps a talk is in order to discuss what may be said and felt in play times/intense times and whether you both decide to let go at those times or not. Something I will be thinking on, thank you all. angharad

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125