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How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/28/2006 8:46:21 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		I've been in a longterm relationship and didn't realize the woman I'm involved with is a professional mistress. I really care about her and will do just about anything to please her. A few years ago she started to introduce me into the fetish life with playful taps with her riding crop.

It has taken a few years but I am now performing some really heavy fetish acts. Is it common for Mistresses to introduce regular people into this lifestyle? Or is it just because she wants to share something she enjoys with someone she loves? Or did she see something in me that indicated I might be interested in fetish things?

What do dommes look for in relationships?











Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/28/2006 8:58:44 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		First off IMO a pro should be honest in disclosing something like that up front. "Not realizing" means it wasn't specifically discussed which is a problem. If you've been together years why this sudden concern about direction?
If you've been getting spanked for years you're in the deep end. If you're listing as a t-slave you're living the deep end. The time for concern about "regular people" is long since passed. Wondering why now is kind of odd. Seems this would have been a topic of conversation a long time ago.
To answer your question: Every domme wants something different.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/28/2006 9:05:22 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		As I had mentioned, it was a gradual process. I had met her in a gay/lesbian organization because my previous relationship was with a lesbian and her girlfriend. She started out as a friend and then it just slowly progressed. A relationship on my part wasn't in the plan initially.

My reason for asking the question is to gain an understanding of how I got to this point. It seems that in all my relationships previously, the women were the ones who approached me. It is really just my curiosity because sometimes I'll be lying in bed and wonder how I got here with this comfort level for things I couldn't imagine years before.

Just curiosity.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/28/2006 9:06:47 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Sorry to break it to you hon, but Dommes are people too. People are all unique, as are their desires, needs, and expectations. If you don't know what she's looking for after being together for a few years... you likely never will. No one on this site can help you with that. Talk to your Mistress - only she can tell you what she wants.
 
D.

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/28/2006 9:37:01 PM   
StacyCat


Posts: 112
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Who cares why you got to this place, it seems that you are reasonably happy with it, so go with it!

there are many professional Dommes that enjoy BDSM in their private lives, either introducing others into it or any other form of relationship starter.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/29/2006 2:28:07 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Dont knock it. If she's a pro-Domme and she's with you and not charging you, then you have it made, it seems!

There are thousands of guys on this site that would cut off their arms to be where you are.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/29/2006 4:38:14 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Dont knock it. If she's a pro-Domme and she's with you and not charging you, then you have it made, it seems!

There are thousands of guys on this site that would cut off their arms to be where you are.

E


Does cutting off someone else's arms count?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/29/2006 4:41:27 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Dont knock it. If she's a pro-Domme and she's with you and not charging you, then you have it made, it seems!

There are thousands of guys on this site that would cut off their arms to be where you are.

E


Does cutting off someone else's arms count?



I dont believe so. The days when ladies were impressed by a man's ability to slaughter and conquer empires passed with Julius Caesar I think.

These days, only self-mutilation is a sufficient demonstration of love.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/29/2006 5:49:35 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy

I've been in a longterm relationship and didn't realize the woman I'm involved with is a professional mistress. I really care about her and will do just about anything to please her. A few years ago she started to introduce me into the fetish life with playful taps with her riding crop.

It has taken a few years but I am now performing some really heavy fetish acts. Is it common for Mistresses to introduce regular people into this lifestyle? Or is it just because she wants to share something she enjoys with someone she loves? Or did she see something in me that indicated I might be interested in fetish things?

What do dommes look for in relationships?



Does it really matter of others do this or not?

I think your questions are best answered by having a good discussion with her where you ask her these questions.

I'm not her, none of us are, we can't possibly speak for her.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/29/2006 8:08:13 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		This post really blew me away on several levels.  Maybe it's because I worked all night and I'm slightly delerious, but I'm going to have to pick my jaw up and respond just the same.

quote:


Is it common for Mistresses to introduce regular people into this lifestyle?

How do you think people come into the lifestyle?  Are we hatched this way, with a friggin whip?  Of course, kinky people introduce other people into the lifestyle......perhaps it's because you want a person alongside you that you get along with.  Or maybe you just draw the kink out in them?

quote:


I've been in a longterm relationship and didn't realize the woman I'm involved with is a professional mistress.

This knocked my socks off.  I'm really struggling with your statement that you had no idea that she was a professional mistress -- and you've been in a "SERIOUS" relationship with this individual?  Were you a serious cyber relation to this woman?  Didn't you wonder what she did for work?  Where she worked?  What her origin of her lifestyle involvement was?  How she learned her skills?  Come on now. 

I worked as a pro.  There was NO hiding from my significant other what I did.  My fiancee knew what I did, to the point that he would provide security in my dungeon space, would build toys, and would assist me in sessions if need be.  Hell, even my mother knew. 

I'd begin to seriously question the nature of your relationship if she's hidden that much from you. 

quote:


What do dommes look for in relationships?

What WE look for in a relationship is irrelevant.  How about what does SHE look for in a relationship? Are you a relationship to her (meaning more than a slave?)  And if you're in the longterm serious relationship you're in with her, why are you asking this now?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/29/2006 8:59:47 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It doesn't matter what WE look for. It matters what SHE is looking for. Ask HER.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 11/30/2006 11:39:32 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		*sigh* Study for several days, and everyone puts in their 2 cents worth that mirrors mine. *sniffles*
 
Nothing new to add. Been said already.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/1/2006 2:50:32 PM   
feminboots


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		I think in many ways, theRose, truer words never spoken!!  Your response certainly made me think!
Thank you.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/1/2006 2:53:29 PM   
feminboots


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		MsDiamond,

Your response made for very good reading.  I couldn't agree with you more.

Sincerely,

Tracey in boots

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/2/2006 12:09:38 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you feminboots, it's always nice to be appreciated and agreed with!
 
Very nice pic, btw.
 
D.

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to feminboots)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/2/2006 5:44:47 PM   
missjada


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline 		Well hon this is something that goes on in any relationship whether it be with a mistress or not. You problem does not lie with whether she is a pro domme or not but it lies in your communication with eachother as a couple. I personaly feel that she should have told you right off the bat what she was into. However she may have her reasons. If you are worried about where your relationship is going that is for you to take it up with your partner.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/2/2006 6:03:31 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I dont believe so. The days when ladies were impressed by a man's ability to slaughter and conquer empires passed with Julius Caesar I think.


*chuckles*  I still find it impressive.  I must be an old-fashioned girl. 

--M

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/2/2006 6:11:19 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Well, I have an empire of ants in my kitchen that I routinely conquer.  Ask H.G. Wells, he'll tell you how impressive that is.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/2/2006 11:44:00 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		benji, if the ants keep coming back, you haven't conquered them. They've conquered you. Nice try though.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How far is this relationship going to go? - 12/3/2006 6:49:29 AM   
feminboots


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Blushes and spanks, I mean thanks Ms.D.
Your severance package idea, I must commend, is cutting edge.  I  would take it one step further and have 'tenure' factored in.  Divorces seem to work that way... hmmm, I could be dangerous sitting in on the 'integrity panel.'
Thanks again!
Booted Tracey

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 20
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