?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom?

?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (Full Version)

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Ceru -> ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/29/2006 9:23:54 PM)
hello... i'm lost on this one. how do i find a dom? i don't know anyone in person who's into the lifestyle, & i don't know where to find people who are, either. this is my 2nd time starting up a profile on this site [i got nervous & deleted the 1st one]... i love talking to people online, but so far it hasn't turned up anything that might materialize for me, & i'm feeling a little impatient. i currently am in oakland ~ are there any clubs/bars/whatever that anyone really likes or recommends? someplace a girl won't feel too awkward showing up alone to?

BitaTruble -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/29/2006 9:33:00 PM)
A good starting place for you would be http://www.soj.org Welcome to collarme, the forums and BDSM. Celeste

SamKeithsslave -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/29/2006 9:54:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ceru hello... i'm lost on this one. how do i find a dom? i don't know anyone in person who's into the lifestyle, & i don't know where to find people who are, either. this is my 2nd time starting up a profile on this site [i got nervous & deleted the 1st one]... i love talking to people online, but so far it hasn't turned up anything that might materialize for me, & i'm feeling a little impatient. i currently am in oakland ~ are there any clubs/bars/whatever that anyone really likes or recommends? someplace a girl won't feel too awkward showing up alone to? Well I am sure if you hang around this time you will get to meet many contacts etc If you are nervous etc then take it slowly, although I can understand your impatience [:)] I'm not sure a BDSM club or bar would be the right way to go if you are new, alone and nervous, though there may be someone here who is in your area who might be able to help out there. If you love chatting online then I'd stick with what I love and know. Make sure your profile here is complete and write about yourself in your journal section etc You are bound to catch the eye of people and they hopefully will initiate which will help, especially if you are still harbouring any nerves etc Building a relationship online may or may not be your cuppa tea, but it can be a good way to meet people whom you might then wish to meet face to face. Whatever you choose to do, good luck with it and I hope you stick around this time [:)]

diamonddreamlove -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/29/2006 10:57:28 PM)
On line is a good way to meet. When i joined cc i put in my profile that i was only interested in meeting those that were close enough to meet in person. As a general rule that worked out well. We chatted on line then met in person. As a result i have a wonderful Dom that plans to collar me in the Spring. I also have a best friend in another Dom that i met here. I believe that being able to communicate online with these 2 Doms has made our relationship much more steady. My vanilla husband died the last of July of this year and both my Dom and my Dom friend have made sure that i have been able to take care of myself and child. They and my local bdsm community have been wonderful through this terrible experience. Having been shunned by the vanilla community (the fate of widows worldwide) i have been enbraced by my wonderful bdsm friends. Write your profile, identify what is important to you in a Dom and don't settle for less in the One you pledge yourself too. As for all others make friends online meet in person and get introduced to the local community. It is a wonderful experience!!!!

spankmepink11 -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/30/2006 8:17:32 AM)
Try to avoid letting your impatience cloud your judgement and influence you to rush into anything. good luck

SlaveAkasha -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/30/2006 1:40:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spankmepink11 Try to avoid letting your impatience cloud your judgement and influence you to rush into anything. good luck This is my worry for you. I know you want it, and you want it now. The problem with that is it can make our judgement very clouded and make us rush into something with the first one that seems "Dom" enough for us. Just take your time, get to know other sub/slaves, and don't cut out any options without getting to know someone very well. I wish you luck and hope things work out for you. Drea

Ceru -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/30/2006 3:59:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: spankmepink11 Try to avoid letting your impatience cloud your judgement and influence you to rush into anything. good luck This is my worry for you. I know you want it, and you want it now. The problem with that is it can make our judgement very clouded and make us rush into something with the first one that seems "Dom" enough for us. Just take your time, get to know other sub/slaves, and don't cut out any options without getting to know someone very well. I wish you luck and hope things work out for you. Drea thank you ~ i know you're right... & i have been known throughout my life for being boneheadedly impulsive. meeting other subs would be nice, as well; i think that will probably help me more than anything else right now, since i'm just beginning to learn.

DreamWizardNJoy -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (11/30/2006 5:56:04 PM)
[sm=hello.gif] The advice i'm reading is all very good, especially remembering to take your time. Get to know people not just for their kinks or skills, but as people. Go to munches. Fight the urge to jump right in with both feet. Just like the 'real world' there are a lot of fakes out there. Take the time to wait for the 'good' ones. Listen, learn, read, ask lots of questions. And find groups ... not just individuals... Best regards on your search... David Dream Wizard and His dreamgirl joy

Ceru -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 1:28:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble A good starting place for you would be http://www.soj.org Welcome to collarme, the forums and BDSM. Celeste thank you so much for the tip! through that site, i found out about a get together this sunday that is aimed at helping people meet...

Rumtiger -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 2:34:20 AM)
A picture wouldent hurt.

Ceru -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 4:23:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rumtiger A picture wouldent hurt. i'm still waiting for collarme to approve them :)

angharad -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 4:56:20 AM)
I'd just like to re iterate, take your time. Your emotions are likely to be very strong http://www.submissiveloving.com/subfrenzy.html This article helped me so much. Anything when it is set free wants to fly and soar straight away, submission can be wonderful, intense, beyond words but it can also be consuming, you can't think for your need sometimes. There are alot a predators out there who have excellent radar skills. Don't make yourself an easy target for these people. I've never seen sub frenzy discussed on here, but I am new and it helped me understand why my emotions and needs were spiralling out of control. Best wishes, hope you find your way :) angharad

RedSavageSlave -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 5:16:59 AM)
<off topic just a tad> ceru, I looked at your profile and had to chuckle.. Dancing is your hard limit??????? Too funny :)

Ceru -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 11:33:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave <off topic just a tad> ceru, I looked at your profile and had to chuckle.. Dancing is your hard limit??????? Too funny :) i'm glad you got that ;) it was half meant as a joke, but also half serious... i truly cannot dance! it's pathetic to see me try...

Ceru -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 11:46:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angharad I'd just like to re iterate, take your time. Your emotions are likely to be very strong http://www.submissiveloving.com/subfrenzy.html This article helped me so much. Anything when it is set free wants to fly and soar straight away, submission can be wonderful, intense, beyond words but it can also be consuming, you can't think for your need sometimes. There are alot a predators out there who have excellent radar skills. Don't make yourself an easy target for these people. I've never seen sub frenzy discussed on here, but I am new and it helped me understand why my emotions and needs were spiralling out of control. Best wishes, hope you find your way :) angharad that article is great... thank you. it really is some of the best advice i've come across so far, & i haven't seen anything like that yet [in all my frenzied reading :) ]

angharad -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 3:16:44 PM)
your welcome. It really helped me, so I'm glad it has some value to you too.

Lordandmaster -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 3:20:19 PM)
Another great place to start would be http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/34547/default.htm JUST joking, people...sheesh. quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble A good starting place for you would be http://www.soj.org

RedSavageSlave -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 3:22:18 PM)
OMG LaM I went to your profile and saw that you were BORAT.. High 5... I love that guy..but where did you learn how to speak badly translated russian?

Lordandmaster -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 3:23:25 PM)
I am multi-talented, sweetheart.

MasterKalif -> RE: ?? for female subs: tips for finding a dom? (12/1/2006 3:25:27 PM)
LaM, ehhh....I like you, do you like me? High five![:D]

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