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Weight - 12/1/2006 9:00:42 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Ok.. this is sort of a vent  - but i so need some one to talk to.  I just dont know WHO to talk too.  I dont want to offend anyone either or for some one else to take me wrong.. so for abit now, i've sorta just kept this to myself.. but now i'm REALLY upset.  Maybe some one on here can help me straighten things out in my head and help me deal with it better?  And its going to sound SO terrible.

i'm fat.  Like my sides have ballooned out and my cheeks have ballooned out!  EVERYTHING has grown on me and as dumb as it sounds it puts me on the verge of tears thinking about it.  I know i'm pregnant, but i'm only 3 months pregnant right now and i have NO RIGHT to be ballooning up this fast.  Its ridiculous.  I dont know whats happening.  I keep trying to tell myself postive things.  Like, i'm finally eating and because i didnt eat much before my metabolism is slow and it'll even out.  Its not helping.  = (

i know how this sounds too = (  And i feel terrible for thinking it.  i just cant help it, its depressing me
= (   Its not that i think overweight is bad.  Just overweight for me is bad.  i cant handle it.  I would talk to my Dom, but i dont know how.  He's overweight and i tried a couple of weeks ago and he just teased me.   And as dumb as it sounds - i keep thinking that my Dom is not going to find me attractive anymore.  And i know thats just how i feel and not the truth but i cant help but feel it.  Its like i have no issues with other peoples weight and i actually like my Dom being abit overweight.  i cant be overweight. if that makes any sense?  I know its like my own personal issue and its all in my head and i've done my best to talk myself through it.  I'm trying to eat healthy as best i can.  I dont eat alot of junk food.  Though i did eat some ice cream the other night.  i cant HELP eating.  God i'm always hungry.  I dont eat pies, or cakes, or candies.. though i did have some chocolate the other day.  I dont eat alot of junk.  I try and drink water and i just started going back to the gym and doing aerobics and working out.  BUT i cant work out like i used too.  i have to take it eaaaasy and not try and kill myself.  i'm not even supposed to lose weight anymore!  I'm not sure what to do.  I want to maintain a proper healthy weight and gain appropriately but it feels like its all out of control. 

i've spent years and years through out my life working to maintain my weight.  Its not easy.  Like i dont eat alot of junk food, or sugar stuff, i skip the mayo on the bread and the salad dressing on the salad... just tons of little things to cut back.  The only thing i allowed myself was pepsi. 

i go to the doctors tomorrow and i will bring this up.  My Dom will be there and i know if i start crying about it while i'm talking about it, we'll end up having a dicussion about it.  I just dont know how to put it into words with out it being a mumbo jumbo of emotions.  Could anyone help me lay it out better?  Or maybe some how help me feel better about it?  Or give me some ideas on how to maintain my weight better.  And i know i could do more excerise like taking walks, going running (i think) riding my bike and doing small excercises around here.  And i'm sorta trying but lately every morning that i wake up i feel like some one was literally beating me up in my sleep, i walk around like i've got an extra 100 lbs on me.. i'm always out of breathe and always tired.  Its like all i have energy to muster for is doing the things that need to be done and then when i can i sit here and try and ignore how crappy i feel or i lay down and try to sleep even though i cant. 

i'm at such a loss.  I know i'm being silly on one hand and on the other i really really feel this way.  i know i'm just going to gain more weight so its silly to stress about it - but i cant help but want to maintain it.  i dont even know how not to feel like this.  I've TRIED.  i guess i'm hoping that the people of CM will help me with this...

p.s.  please dont tar and feather me !
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:05:57 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Being pregnant is the time to gain weight...just try your best to accept it. Have your doctor check your "thyroid levels" because during my pregnancies (the first 3) my thyroid problem went undected and I gained over 100 pounds...talk about depressed. There were times I considered suicide as a way out ..feeling helpless...Once on medication I began to walk, exercise and lost alot of weight..I'm still a big girl but I have learned to accept myself as is...For energy I reccomend you going on "Noni" which you can find at GNC..it helps with energy...but always check with your doctor first to make sure it's ok during pregnancy. Try taking walks, when I take a walk it seems to lift my spirits some. You are NOT being silly..alot of your feelings are BECAUSE you are pregnant...this is a beautiful time of your life and I will keep you in prayers....may you have a healthy baby..

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:12:44 AM   
slaveMastery


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		First of all - you are not fat, you are pregnant. That entire Miracle of Life stuff, you know? This is just what nature does, provide a cushioning buffer around the wee little one. Some women start earlier, some start later with the cushioning process...but they all start it!

The worst thing you can do for yourself and for the baby (negative emotions) right now is to look at yourself in the mirror and despair from seeing a chubby girl, but you need to see a girl which is in that amazing creationist stage of life (which we men never are privileged to experience...we just reach that never-ending second trimester courtesy of Adolphus Coors).

_____________________________

~ ~

Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:16:22 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		( I hope this makes you chuckle some )

mood
swings
piqued
euphoric
morose
pooped
blue
pink
pale
anxiety
keenness
breasts blossom
small ring of color
caresses the areola
hypersensitivity
nausea
heartburn and indigestion
shortness of breath and backaches
frequent urination, abdominal cramps
tiny amounts of hCG enter blood stream
food cravings, fatique, bloating, back pain
 incessant urination, constipation, irritability
  triple fudge sundae and pickles, navel pushes out
  ohwowsomethingismovinginsideyesicanfeel
  youmoveandnowyouarekickingandpunching
owwtherewewillbothshifttoamorecomfortable
position I wonder if you’ll have my mother's
eyes or the soft curl of my sister's upper lip
should I name you Elizabeth or Samantha
Samuel or Caleb or wait until I see you
spider
veins
fluid
edema
ankles
swelling
feet feel
tight and shoes
don't fit quite right

(in reply to slaveMastery)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:20:31 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Riot, just relax! I saw you the other night and you are sooooooooo not fat! Remember you were celebrating BOOBIES!!!!!!!! You look FANTASTIC! And trust me, I am a picky old broad.

Also, this part of pregnancy often means that you are tired and lethargic, it is normal. As it the hormonal mood stuff. So, just caaaaaaaaaallllllllmmmmmmmmm down. Do exactly what you feel like doing. If it means take a nice long walk, great! If it entails you taking a nice relaxing nap, great also! This is the one time you do not need to worry about gaining a few pounds, revel in it. Embrace the whole experience, extra chub and all. After the baby is born the extra pounds will just melt away, especially if you breast feed.

Just, relax and quit beating yourself up. What you are going thru is perfectly natural, the stress you are putting yourself thru over it is not. And, it's not good for you or the wee one.



_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:24:30 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Even though I got very big during my pregnancy and had my moods where i was so depressed....Being pregnant is a wonderful bonding experience between you and your child...nothing compares to it ...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:27:53 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		And now you're on the downswing into depression...

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:34:21 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Thanks guys.  i am chuckling, or atleast smiling.  Thanks.  I guess it helps hear others tell you what you already know.  I do feel sillier now for feeling that way and better.  Its not so terrible when you put it out in words and hear what others have to say.  I worry alot.  Its nice to hear in a postive friendly way that you are worrying needlessly.  Thank you.  Thanks Tigresse.  Boobies are great and a wonderful benefit of pregnancy.  i dunno... my mom told me i was getting "round"  all over.. like my face.. and i ever since ... ug.. i stopped being able to ignore the weight gain.  Thank you for saying that.  Very much so.  I'm hoping when i go to the doctors tomorrow she'll also tell me its all in my head and to not be silly and that'll help alot too.  Course if she says "wow - you've gained alot of weight for only being 3 months pregnant" i think i break down in tears. 

things to say to myself - its not as terrible as you think it is.  That and every time i get down about it, i'm going to favorite place this thread and read what you all wrote.  I'm going to read it again actually and then i'm going to muster motivation and energy and use the gift certificate i have to go pamper myself.

thank you

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:40:21 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Don't feel bad..I had people actually say to me "are you pregnant or just fat"? I would reply..both...i got knocked up cause i like sex and i am fat cause i love to eat....that usually shut them up .......sis, you are fine as you are..smile!!

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 9:43:34 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		You ever been able to fit a baby huey into your ass yet LA? 



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 10:07:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
You ever been able to fit a baby huey into your ass yet LA? 

You laughed at me when I said you were being manic back on the 17th when you were doing your happy-happy-bouncy-posty-oodles-o-fun-posting-spree.

Now you're snarkily insulting me when I said you're on the depressed swing on the 1st when you're doing your break-down-everything-sucks-please-help-posting.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 10:15:45 AM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		Nothing from nothing but I found my wife sexy as hell when she was carrying our son. Some women get really horny when they're pregnant, unfortunately she wasn't one of them LOL. Relax and realize that you'll have so many chances to slim down chasing that little thing around the house for the next few years and fewer chances for alot of sex that the pounds will be gone before you know it...

Congrats darlin', try to relax. It's a pain in the ass (literally at times) but it doesn't last long. Try to enjoy it while it does. I will butt my Y chromosome out of the woman's conversation now...

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 10:47:35 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

You laughed at me when I said you were being manic back on the 17th when you were doing your happy-happy-bouncy-posty-oodles-o-fun-posting-spree.

Now you're snarkily insulting me when I said you're on the depressed swing on the 1st when you're doing your break-down-everything-sucks-please-help-posting.


Actually no, i was actually just trying to get in your pants.  You make me so hot LA! 

Yeah and i still think you are wrong.  I'm starting to equate you to a playground bully.  I'm sick of you picking on me and i'm sick of you insisting something you havent an MD to be able to do so.  I'm still generally happy and bouncy.  Life is STILL good.  I still really havent anything to complain about.  I'm still on a "o- fun- posting- spree"  Didnt you see my most recent posts?? 

No not everything sucks (just my weight).  Sorry to burst your bubble.  I hate the fact that i'm gaining weight and out of all people i would think that you'd understand that.  Me and my weight issues.  Thought you'd nail that on the head.  I'm not breaking down.  I think i was having a moment.  Tigresse and everyone else that responsed really helped me put it into perspective. 

What probably is my problem is i havent been able to sleep lately.  I get about 5 hours each night and i'm feeling overloaded and my body is changing and for the MOST part its a good thing, but well - me and my weight issue. 

I'm getting really sick of it LA.  I've already asked the Mod's to ask you to cut it out before i get pissed and do something against TOS. 

WHAT i NEED - is some cuddle time with my Dom, some time to get away from it all and some good sleep.  Thank GOD - My Dom already knows this and when he's here tonight, i will get it.  Actually to be honest - the friendliness of the people that replied and a shower helped lift my mood wonders.  <grins>  i'm even sorta chuckling at you again.  I think telling the Mods excatly how i felt about your behavior helped too. 

On top of that.  Who cares if i'm bi polar?  Who really fucking cares?  I'm doing really well.  Thats what matters.  Yeaaaaaaah - i get moody.  (shoot me)  i get alittle miserable (shoot me) and i get happy (shoot me)  But its to be expected.  Dont you have anything better to do then to follow me around and say "your bi polar and i can prove it" 

Ya know what?  Life is really really good - i feel great and i dont have to fuck the whole town to feel that way........... how about you?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:00:44 AM   
poplolly


Posts: 159
Joined: 10/7/2006
From: Edmonton
Status: offline 		Riot:  For my first pregnancy, I was able to avoid maternity clothes until I was 7 months gone; with my 2nd, I was in them at two months.  You are soooooo not fat, girl!  You're pregnant and beautiful and amazing and all the superlative adjectives you can think of.  Stop worrying, eat healthy and just enjoy the most wonderous time of your life.  Do not diet and stop worrying.  I'm absolutely certain that your have never been more attractive or sexy.  Congrats! 

_____________________________

"I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't ACCEPT me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"
~~ Marilyn Monroe.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:03:37 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I didn't read through any posts.  Since you are pregnant, any weight concerns should be addressed by your doctor.  You will notice that you may look "puffy" in certain areas.  I remember my face being puffy.  My hands and feet swelled near the end of my pregnancies.  I gained a lot (60lbs) with my first, but I was grossly underweight for my height (98lbs).  I lost all but 20 lbs.  Pregnancy is the time to watch what you eat and to cut out junk, but it is not the time to go on a diet.  You can worry about losing the weight after you have the baby.  It is common to have mood swings during pregnancy, irregardless of any mood disorder that may be present.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:04:06 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm not all that good with advice on weight though I would agree trying to loose it isn't the best idea, baby needs the protection! Hopefully tomorrow the doctor will set your mind at rest :)

(in reply to poplolly)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:11:47 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Riot, I gain almost 80 with my first and about 60 with my second and lost it all.  The first time, I lost it REALLY fast...walked everywhere and breast fed.  The second was a bit harder, but I am a LOT older than you and I think that has/had something to do with it...but I still lost. 

You're not being silly.  I felt the same way.  I've always been thin...always.  I was crazed, but it WILL come off.  Of course, I stopped smoking and now am a few pounds overweight...need to get those off too.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:53:02 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		RG:

It could be that since you are quite petite, the slightest weight gain, looks larger than it really is.  On a small petite frame, 10 lbs, for instance, looks more like 20.  Maybe weigh yourself once a week and you may find that you aren't gaining nearly as much as you imagine you are.  What Im saying is you may be perceiving a larger weight gain than what is actually the reality of it.  

Also, even in the first trimester there can be alot of 'bloat' or water retention going on.  Drink alot of water, that alone may flush out some of the face bloat etc. 

You know from experience that all of your symptoms (tired, moody, weight gain,bloating etc) are common to pregnancy. Don't magnify them or convert them into something negative.  Everything that you describe is normal. Isn't that a good thing??  


_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:56:18 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		You're probably having a boy, I think carrying a boy puts your body through more. Just enjoy it and hey the bonus to all this is you get bigger boobs too

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Weight - 12/1/2006 11:57:46 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		I gained over 60 pounds with my first pregnancy...he was a 8 pound 14oz baby boy that was about 2 weeks early (he is now almost 12 years old)...Even though I am happy that we have bonded and that they are the ages they are today, I do miss being pregnant..it's the most precious gift anyone can have..be sure to drink plenty of fluids (milk and juice / especially water) alot of yogurt, cheese and peanut butter is great for vitamins..take your prenatal vitamins and get plenty of sleep...when that baby is born THEN worry about losing weight...

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 20
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