BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

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BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! - 12/1/2006 11:34:50 PM

ThatLady

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!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!
Research on bread indicates that:
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Miss Deb
Sensual Sadist

< Message edited by ThatLady -- 12/1/2006 11:37:54 PM >

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Miss Deb
The Sensual Sadist

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RE: BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! - 12/2/2006 9:59:41 AM

MistressRENA

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Joined: 7/21/2005
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We got this from a friend about yhe time I was taking a college composition class. So I though it was an excellenc example of the difference between corelation and causation. My instructor thought so too. And so he read it in class. A classroom of more dumbfounded expressions I have never seen.

We were both amazed.

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RE: BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! - 12/2/2006 11:36:32 AM

Termyn8or

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In a totally unrelated study it has been found that most fatal car accidents are caused less than 24 hours after the driver(s) consumed bread.

Also, centuries ago bread in France became enhanced by a substance known as ergot. Literally wreaked havoc on their society (and I have my doubts as to whaether they ever fully recovered).

It has also been postulated that most wars are started by bread eaters.

Bread can also be stealthed. Many do not realize that a hamburger bun is indeed, bread. Bread has been known to hide under pizza as well.

There is a seperate study being conducted on the dangers of pizza. It is not complete but preliminary figures are starting to look ominous.

There are many who don't realize that adding sugar to bread does not neutralize the harmful effects of bread. As they happily munch on doughnuts and other pastries, they don't see that they will suffer the same consequences.

The worst part is just how insidious bread really is. It is almost totally impossible to avoid.

Bread was exonerated several years ago in something called "the twinkie defense", they bagged sugar instead. While sugar is frequently bread's accomplice, as usual there was a fall guy so to speak, and the bigger fish got away.

Speaking of fish...............................

Never mind.

T

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