How do you keep your roles seperate ?

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How do you keep your roles seperate ? - 2/15/2005 9:21:26 AM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
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I had a friend who is a self proclaimed switch, but somehow was never able to get into either mode fully, and just hovered around at 60 % or 40 % untill she just went into "bitch" mode..... which was neither.

It was utterly infuriating, and I was kind of wondering how you let your roles not interfere with eachother in a daily basis.

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RE: How do you keep your roles seperate ? - 2/15/2005 11:07:15 AM

MizSuz

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta

I had a friend who is a self proclaimed switch, but somehow was never able to get into either mode fully, and just hovered around at 60 % or 40 % untill she just went into "bitch" mode..... which was neither.

It was utterly infuriating, and I was kind of wondering how you let your roles not interfere with eachother in a daily basis.

I have not had much success with switching with the same person. That doesn't mean it can't be done, it means I didn't have much success with it.

Not that I submit, because my bottoming wouldn't be called submitting at all; but the submissive that I allowed to top me (while technically quite competent) had a very difficult time submitting after he started topping me.

Of course I later found out he was a compulsive liar, and for me that was what ended things. But my point is that bottoming to my own submissive muddied the waters too much. I no longer bottom to my own submissives.

I can play with folks who are switches, I can bottom to other tops, I can bottom to a competent submissive; but I will not own a submissive and switch with them. Doesn't work for me.

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
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RE: How do you keep your roles seperate ? - 2/15/2005 6:27:17 PM

smoothiesub

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Joined: 1/16/2005
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Well Sir, if this one may offer a humble opinion, (of course from a male sub/switch viewpoint), perhaps...just perhaps the one You speak of is in reality more submissive than switch and is just "topping from the bottom". What i have discovered is that sometimes i use the "switch" label when in reality i am truly more submissive in play. Identifying as a switch sometimes is the last vestige of maintaining a tiny sense of "control" inside oneself against being totally dominated, (which can be a very unnerving experience especially when one finds themself completely at the whims of another). It's just possible that when she feels secure that the One who holds her safety in His hands truly knows how to push and explore limits without damaging her, then she can finally drop the "switch" label and truly enjoy the submissive experience to its' fullest. It's just an idea that occurred to me. This might be explored in conversation with her. Pardon this one for being chatty.

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RE: How do you keep your roles seperate ? - 2/15/2005 6:42:52 PM

NoPinkBalloons

Posts: 125
Joined: 2/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta

I had a friend who is a self proclaimed switch, but somehow was never able to get into either mode fully, and just hovered around at 60 % or 40 % untill she just went into "bitch" mode..... which was neither.

She was never able to get into either role fully *with you* or ever? If it's just with you, then I'd guess you just didn't provide the energy she needed to go there. If it's with everyone, then that's a different situation.

quote:

It was utterly infuriating, and I was kind of wondering how you let your roles not interfere with eachother in a daily basis.

*For me*, it's all about the energy I get from another person. Very few people can feed me both kinds of energy, and it can be tricky to keep the push/pull in balance. In general, though, I read one kind of energy or the other from someone, and that's how the interactions manifest.

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RE: How do you keep your roles seperate ? - 2/19/2005 10:58:13 PM

suberic

Posts: 175
Joined: 1/9/2005
From: Nashville TN
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Personally for me, it means role play.

I play the sub role most of the time. M'lady plays the top role most of the time. When we wish to trade, she (or I) make it very clear to the other, usually by doing something out of character for our "normal" role, and that brings out a new persona to the front.

Myself as normal is just a guy, when I'm being a bottom, I just get more servile and eager to please. Perhaps I rub her feet, suck on her toes, do her back, pedicure or manicure, talk to her about fantasys and kink.

When I'm topping, I get very male, masculine, grab hair, demand to touch her.

When she's playing the sub, she gets very quiet, her voice pitch goes up and she gets almost a blonde drawl to her speech. She gets very tactile and eager.

That's how we keep them seperate. With other people , it's generally not a problem.

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RE: How do you keep your roles seperate ? - 2/24/2005 9:36:01 PM

pixieunleashed

Posts: 105
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Shadow and myself keep our roles separate by comming to an agreement that I am simply his property. I don't have to be submissive/obediant to him if I don't wish to for as long as he chooses to tolerate it. We do switch back in forth in play fairly easily and well since it is clear that he is in charge at all times. In other relationships...things fly as they flow.

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