"Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 12:19:47 PM)

The one thing that never fails to arouse me in a BDSM context is the reaction of my partner.  Without going into tons of details and examples, it is fairly logical that a "new sub" (in terms of real life experience, or experience with YOU) is more "surprisable," more in awe, more overwhelmed at everything -- from the size of the latex cock to how the skin tight latex looks on your body to how sheer humiliation feels when it's in the presence of another person, and not just fantasy.

But three, four, ten years later and with the same partner -- what happens to all those "shock" experiences?  When a sub (and I am including fem subs in this as well as I'm sure the dynamic happens there too) goes from "Oh my god I can't believe this is finally happening to me!" to many years later "oh, here comes the strap on again, it's always a hot time, but it's still the 600th time after all...." -- how can the dominant partner not burn out on the lack of "HOLY SHIT! Is this really happening to me!?" factor?

I have a long term relationship (more than 5 years) and found that it has evolved way past the point of me surprising him with anything, but he was never carrying around core sub fantasies anyway.  I can still shock him, but usually it's shock related to random timing and the suddenness of things -- not so much what I am capable of or what gear I have, or what moods I can get into. He has seen them all -- and those simple things, like the fact that I *do* get off on it, is what blows the mind of the average novice.  There are times that I really miss that.

How do you keep it fresh?

Akasha



ownedgirlie -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 12:35:38 PM)

I find my surprisability (is that a word, lol) comes when he helps me discover new and wonderful things about myself, and when I learn new and wonderful things about him as a person.  We both grow - mentally, emotionally and physically.  It's what's in the mind and heart (both his and mine) that get the biggest reaction in me.  But 2 1/2 years into our relationship, we are still discovering new ways to enjoy each other physically, and it seems the longer we are together the better we are together.  I don't know what will happen in 10 years.  I would imagine we'll still be exploring new avenues to travel down.  I hope so [:)]



RiotGirl -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 1:24:42 PM)

erm.. i think my Dom does it by doing random mind fucks.  He mentions doing things that i think are "crazy" ... yet never doing them.. He spoke about piercing my clit for ages.. months upon months and never did it.  Then one day he said "guess what"    Yes i was utterly shocked when it happened.  He spaces things out and speaks about them waaaaay before they happen.   It sorta lends me to not believe they will happen.  I usually end up going "holy cow i cant believe you're actually doing that" 

Yet he does go slow with me and takes his time.  So technically i'd still consider myself a newbie when it comes to alot of things. 



Rover -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 1:52:40 PM)

I am not a mental health professional (though I play one on tv), but I have read on several occasions that it's common for fetishists to trend towards the extreme over time, in order to achieve exactly what you've described.
 
John



gretchenS -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 2:05:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

erm.. i think my Dom does it by doing random mind fucks.  He mentions doing things that i think are "crazy" ... yet never doing them.. He spoke about piercing my clit for ages.. months upon months and never did it.  Then one day he said "guess what"    Yes i was utterly shocked when it happened.  He spaces things out and speaks about them waaaaay before they happen.   It sorta lends me to not believe they will happen.  I usually end up going "holy cow i cant believe you're actually doing that" 

Yet he does go slow with me and takes his time.  So technically i'd still consider myself a newbie when it comes to alot of things. 



I have to say I know my Master very, so well, but unfortunately  he is a very good lier, so his damn mind fucks are enough to keep the relationship very fresh... And as you said... I'm still so naive sometimes... (I just recently learned that 30 seconds is actually 20 seconds)



LTRsubNW -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 2:14:02 PM)

Hey, AAkasha...how come a) you don't show a picture and b) no one (men or women) can verify if you're actually a woman?

You profess...and no one questions because you've been around so long (and by the way...thank you for your web site), but there's never anyone that wonders whether or not you're actually a chic?

Everyone treats you so gingerly because they think you're indeed a chic.

I'm asking.

I wonder.



Najakcharmer -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 2:16:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

Hey, AAkasha...how come a) you don't show a picture and b) no one (men or women) can verify if you're actually a woman?

You profess...and no one questions because you've been around so long (and by the way...thank you for your web site), but there's never anyone that wonders whether or not you're actually a chic?


Because a lot of scene people (me included) have met her in person.  She's a very attractive lady with a conventional mainstream job and career, and putting up a photo on an adult site would not have good results for her. 



LTRsubNW -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 2:23:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

Hey, AAkasha...how come a) you don't show a picture and b) no one (men or women) can verify if you're actually a woman?

You profess...and no one questions because you've been around so long (and by the way...thank you for your web site), but there's never anyone that wonders whether or not you're actually a chic?


Because a lot of scene people (me included) have met her in person.  She's a very attractive lady with a conventional mainstream job and career, and putting up a photo on an adult site would not have good results for her. 



(I've been wrong before...this would make twice).

I can live with that.

My extreme, sincere and absolute apology.



AAkasha -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 3:26:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

Hey, AAkasha...how come a) you don't show a picture and b) no one (men or women) can verify if you're actually a woman?

You profess...and no one questions because you've been around so long (and by the way...thank you for your web site), but there's never anyone that wonders whether or not you're actually a chic?

Everyone treats you so gingerly because they think you're indeed a chic.

I'm asking.

I wonder.


It's ok, I've been accused of being a man before, and have also been accused of being a creation developed by The Stockroom to sell toys. 

Najakcharmer already jumped in on this, but the main reason I don't post my photo is because I have a normal career and life. Even though I am pretty much "out" to my peers and family, it's still not a thing I flaunt.  But more important is that after having a site like mine for 10+ years, you can imagine I have a few weirdos that want to get a little too close for comfort and I don't feel comfortable having people know what I look like considering how easy it would be to track me down (I am very open about my hobbies, where I hang out, etc.)

In these circles (online femdom community) I have been around a long time; people like Najacharmer have met me, sarbonn has met me, John Warren knows I exist.  I used to be in a lot more real life BDSM community circles when I was in my mid-20s. 

I also did phone domination regularly for 3 years or so, and used to meet a lot more people.  If you ask around enough, people can vouch for my legitimacy.
Akasha



DianeB269 -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 3:42:18 PM)

I just keep buying bigger strapons.



LTRsubNW -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 3:43:00 PM)

My error.



Najakcharmer -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 5:21:50 PM)

Yep.  Akasha was active on the Munch/party circuit at the same time I was, though mostly on different ends of the state so we didn't coincide all that often.  That was....er....longer ago than I like to think about, but it shouldn't be too difficult to find a lot of people who were around the scene at that time and are still around.   The current cyber identity "AAkasha" on this site and of the well known femdom website is the same as the Akasha I met many years ago, no question about it.  Same real name, same real memories of mutual amusement on the dungeon party circuit.

Shit, we oughtta do it again sometime.  That was fun.  [:)]



AAkasha -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/3/2006 9:11:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Yep.  Akasha was active on the Munch/party circuit at the same time I was, though mostly on different ends of the state so we didn't coincide all that often.  That was....er....longer ago than I like to think about, but it shouldn't be too difficult to find a lot of people who were around the scene at that time and are still around.   The current cyber identity "AAkasha" on this site and of the well known femdom website is the same as the Akasha I met many years ago, no question about it.  Same real name, same real memories of mutual amusement on the dungeon party circuit.

Shit, we oughtta do it again sometime.  That was fun.  [:)]



I would be all over that!!! :)

Akasha



mons -> RE: "Your latex dick is HUGE!!!" - how to keep things fresh in a longterm relationship? (12/4/2006 7:21:33 AM)

greeting rover

your a star ?

mons or was it a joke come tell me if it is true




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