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Hickory -> Hickory Sets a Hard Limit (2/21/2005 2:54:20 PM)
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I have been exploring the concepts and practices of Power Exchange for only a few weeks now. In that short time, I’ve met many excellent people and had my eyes opened (sometimes VERY WIDE) to a plethora of interests, proclivities and compulsions that will take some time to sort out. I have tried to keep an open mind about even the most unusual activities, but at some point each of us must draw The Line. My Line, my Hard Limit, is the Public Chat Room.
Certainly, with all the choices available under the BDSM Lifestyle “umbrella”, there will be some that are immediately more or less interesting, at a gut level. Thoughts of how to creatively serve my Mistress in the Making (MiM) frequently invade my consciousness, but I have yet to find myself Jonesin’ for a tall, frothy glass of Her urinade. (“Better Scat than Chat”… maybe a new bumper sticker…) With whips and needles and plenty of wax available to evoke fear and loathing, it is this Public Chat thing that this vanillage idiot finds waaay too weird and waaay too painful for his sensibilities to accept.
It’s not that I am “communication impaired”. Au contraire! Talking is one of the top two things I like to do with my tongue, along with eating. (If you include food, it’s in the top three.) It’s just that Public Chat is so non-linear and discordant as to render it, for me, barely communication at all. Between the atrocious spelling and the ubiquitous codes and emoticons (vermin of my on-line world), it’s like trying to decipher the intricacies of sea life from bits of shells on a rocky beach after a storm.
These places – these “tidal pools from Hell” boggle the mind. At least the ones I’ve come across seem go something like this:
* MastrBatr has entered The Room
MastrBatr: Hi all!!!
substitoot: Hi MB!!!!!
LordDeBarr: Hi M
subpar: oooh MastrBatr plz ti me to the X!!!!!!!!!
* InconTroll has entered The Room
* MastrBatr ties subpar to X
InconTroll: Hey all – enyboddy nekkid?
* substandard has entered The Room
substandard: H/hi E/evryone! W/whom W/wants T/to W/wip M/me T/to N/nite?
InconTroll: Hey substadrd – R U nekkid?
subterranean: hi ‘stan im wating 4 SpankMonky67 He sed he wood Flogg me 2nite!!!!!!!!!
substandard: LOL B/bet Y/your H/hot!!!!!!!!
InconTroll: Hey subterranen R U nekkid?
* MASTERVOLUME has entered The Room
substandard: J/just I/ignore H/him
MASTERVOLUME: HI EVRY1 ANY BICTHES LOKING 4 A BEATNG??!?!!?
MastrBatr: [SMAK] Take that, you dum cnut
MASTERVOLUME: HEY SUBSTAN – WHAT IDO ??????
subterranean: Totally soked!!!!!!!! BRB – kids set fire to dog agen
substandard: N/not Y/you, V/vol, T/there’s A/a T/troll I/in T/the R/room. BTW - P/plz D/dont S/shout ;-)
InconTroll: IM nekkid
subpar: Ohhh ahhh your such a Master wit the Wip!
LordDeBarr: BEET IT TROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MASTERVOLUME: sORRY. iS THIS BETTER?
InconTroll: I M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* InconTroll has left The Room
MASTERVOLUME: Sh*t – must of hit capslok 2X!!!!!!!!
substitoot: LOL
subpar: LOL!!!
LordDeBarr: LMAO
MastrBatr: LMFAO!!!!!
I watched one Public Chat progress like this one evening until my “Flying Windows” screen saver came on, which was more entertaining and easier to read.
To my mind, warped as it may be, true communication should look like more this:
John: “Hello, Mary, how are you?”
Mary: “I’m fine, John, thank you for asking. How are you?”
John: “I am also fine, Mary, so kind of you to inquire. Shall I tie you to the St. Andrew’s Cross and flog the bejesus out of you?”
Mary: “Oh, yes, please, John. I would welcome you ripping the flesh from my back and buttocks. How kind of you to offer.”
John: “My pleasure, you wanton wench.”
Mary: “Indeed.”
Mary’s heart quickens as John binds her to the cross. John’s eyes, blazing in anticipation, are the last thing Mary sees as he fastens the blindfold in place…
Now, this is communication. The language is clear, precise and presented in a manner that leaves no question about what is going on. There is a continuity and cohesiveness that builds tension and interest. I feel a connection to John and Mary and I’m actually looking forward to what might happen next, aren’t you?
Maybe my problem is that Public Chat, like so many forms of human interaction, is totally lost to those not directly engaged in it. I am sure that there are wonderful, meaningful things MiM and I do together that even the most inexperienced porno director wouldn’t waste videotape on. (“Cut, CUT!! What the hell is that??!? That doesn’t look remotely sexy!! Are you telling me that you actually get off on that, or are you doing it just to piss me off??!?…”)
Maybe it’s that my knuckles still ache from Sister Mary John (from Flushing) instilling in me a compulsion for spelling, grammar and punctuation. (Think an arachnophobe watching the opening scenes of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and you get a sense of my reaction to Public Chat)
Maybe it’s a context thing and this type of pastime has passed me by. When I was 12, the fact that Sister Mary John was from Flushing could bring my friends and me to the verge of incontinence. Now, at best, it evokes a wan smile, as much for the ridiculousness of my reaction to it at the time as anything else.
I’m glad for those who find enjoyment and release in Public Chat. To each his own. Far be it from me to judge the inner workings of a sick and twisted mind. Of course, now that I’ve invested over two hours in writing this little tirade, I begin to wonder who the real deviant is...
Awww, </////) it!
* Hickory has left The Room
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