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undergroundsea -> RE: A slave who has a girlfriend (12/26/2006 7:20:29 PM)
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I do not know enough about the situation at hand but the signs are not good. I agree with others who suggested that asking him about the situation in a neutral manner would be best--it would bring to you additional information that would allow you to make the best decision.
To address the question about seeing others in a more general sense and outside of the OPs situation, I think expectations and perpectives are relevant.
For instance, I am unattached. There are, however, women I have met where we keep in touch, or where we are still becoming acquainted. At the moment, I do not consider any of these relationship to have enough compatibility for an exclusive relationship and I am fairly certain of similar expectations from the other side. Thus, I consider myself available and looking.
When I meet someone new, whether or how much I back off from other persons (existing or new ones) depends on how the new introduction evolves. To reach the point of finding promise in the new introduction may take a few emails or it may take a few meetings. Of course, I similarly allow that I am not the only one in the other person's life at the moment.
Parallel processing is more efficient than serial processing, right? ;-)
If I engage in dialogue with someone who has different expectations, there is room for misunderstanding and miscommunication.
In my opinion, it is fair to expect that the other person be unattached. And I think it is pragmatic to expect or allow that the upon initial introduction the other person may be simultaneously considering other possibilities. As the relationship evolves where the question of others becomes relevant, I think it is best to ask in specific terms. That is, I think it is more clear to ask about exclusivity, or whether there are others one is seeing rather than whether one is single since the latter term is broadly interpretted.
Cheers,
Sea
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