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RE: Saying how you feel - 12/30/2006 6:13:38 PM

Donnalee

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

You should be convinced its the right way to go. Anything else is delaying the experience you'll have to go through anyway. To avoid disclosing any clues or hints to the feelings you are holding back you'll end up holding back feelings that thoughts that don't even relate to the "held back" issues. You'll start hearing; "what's wrong?" and before answering having to censor yourself. Ultimately you'll avoid the issue, avoid the potential for slipping some aspect of the undisclosed feeling, you'll avoid the person. You're not ensuring success by keeping those thoughts a secret, you're just delaying failure.

I never thought about it that way, but that is so true! That is so well said...thanks Mercnbeth.

quote:

But isn’t that why we are supposed to “master” ourselves in order to reign over another. Should a slave be deprived one her most remarkable and precious traits of all? I am of the mind that if you rob a woman of the gift she is most revered for; you have denied yourself the true essence of the woman.

In her very service a woman in love displays her true feelings; a wiggle of happiness in her gate; a smile as she cleans the restroom and straightens the stack of his favorite literature. The passion in her love making; the selfless service that only a woman in love is actually capable of.

When should she express it, this love; she should always express it. In the simplest of her tasks to those wonderful words that even the gruffest old man longs to hear. Don’t let these wall building men terrified to show their mortal weaknesses tell you that they don’t need love.

Bull....I think your heart must be as big as your biceps.
I especially love that line about the selfless service that only a woman in love can give. From the inside, I can tell you that being in love and service is a brilliant feeling, no matter what the task is.

< Message edited by Donnalee -- 12/30/2006 6:23:27 PM >

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 41

RE: Saying how you feel - 1/9/2007 1:41:49 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

For me, it is appropriate to say it when I feel it. Always.

So for me, my Mom was right, you never know when you close your eyes if they will open again, make sure the people you love know it.

mbmbn

I could not have said it better.....

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

Post #: 42

RE: Saying how you feel - 1/9/2007 7:41:29 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

I fell in love with Master rather quickly...in fact, he told me I would fall for him, and my immediate reaction was "who does this guy think he is?" I did tell him the way I felt, pretty much as soon as I realized it, but I have never been the type to hold what I feel inside, for better or for worse.

if you feel regret over not expressing your true feelings in the past, then your best course of action is to learn from your mistake. you already know the consequence of not expressing your feelings - regret. try paying less attention to what you think is right and pay more attention to what you feel is right...easier said than done, I know. again, if you are trying to learn from your own past, it could be the key to the path you want to travel.

I understand that getting other opinions is helpful in making a decision, but it seems to me like you are looking for permission to express yourself more than anything else.

best,

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to wingedangel)

Post #: 43

RE: Saying how you feel - 1/9/2007 8:31:46 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

If you were a male telling a female how you feel, I would recomend a poem, love songs on a IPOD, and a delivered Message In A Bottle. However, you are a female expressing your feelings to a male. In this case, it's very simple.

When he comes back home

1. Have food ready. Something beefy.

2. Have cold beer and frosted mugs

3. Wear almost nothing or just a silk like robe

4. Have an Action Movie or Best of Tyson/sports documentry in the DVD.

5. Have massage oil heated.

After the massage and blow job, mention that all this was done just not out of service, but to show how much you care for him and then rock his world.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to wingedangel)

Post #: 44

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/15/2007 1:12:44 PM

Shadows4Dom

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/14/2006
Status: offline

I'll agree with   FangsNfeet on this one, but I would say go a few steps further.

     1. Go on a getaway where he is in command

      2. Clear your calendars for an evening an just be alone so u an him can be alone undisturbed ( dancing close, to slow dance music works well ), if you can't do this make your apartment over simply into a deserted isle . Gilligan style.

     3. Meet him at work, wearing sexy clothes, greet with long sexy kisses.

     4. When he comes home from work meet him at the door wearing only your birthday suit.Let him know he is in command.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 45

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/15/2007 2:20:43 PM

MasterMataeo

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

in my experiance the sub/slave shold be open in what and how she/he feels ,, but only if permitted by the Master/Dom,
I encourage mine to be open with me in their likes and dislikes , thus allowing me the ability to make a better informed decision that will help benifit my house as a whole

(in reply to Bosn)

Post #: 46

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/15/2007 4:46:18 PM

Arastella

Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

I think any time is okay, personally.

(in reply to wingedangel)

Post #: 47

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/15/2007 6:19:36 PM

andreaC

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline

I have never been afraid to discuss my feelings to my Master. He always knew i loved him, but just realized recently how much my love for him is really strong and real. We have made ourselves a promise to always be open, honest and say what we feel good or bad.

Master wouldnt want it any other way, but to be upfront with him

< Message edited by andreaC -- 2/15/2007 6:20:27 PM >

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to wingedangel)

Post #: 48

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/15/2007 7:30:04 PM

NightWindWhisper

Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline

For some of us saying "I love you" can be difficult.

This may be hard to understand for many but I remember being told this: "My mother would pull me close to her face; she reeked of alcohol and cigarettes, and she'd say: 'tell me you love me." For this person saying "I love you," did not have the same connotation that it does to others.

This is the words from a Blue Mountain Greeting Card that my submissive once sent me many years ago. It was one of the sweetest cards that I have ever received. She wrote:

"I read this card and couldn't believe how perfectly it fit my feelings for you and what I have been going through. Since it is so hard for me to convey this to you sometimes I thought if you had this card you would perhaps read it again sometimes when the going gets rough."

The words on the card:

Thank you for being patient with my difficult Moods.

I appreciate so much
how you've been able to put up
with my moods
I try so hard
but sometimes my moods
get the best of me; I get sad
because I think you should
understand and comfort me.
Yet I know you can't understand
when I shut you out;
You can't comfort me
if I refuse to let you...

Sometimes I feel like crying
for no reason at all
I realize that's hard
to understand
but it's my way of letting go
of all the anger, hurt,
and frustration that's inside me.
I let things around me
influence the way that I act;
I let the past in,
and my feelings from then
get tangled up with my feelings now.
I guess this has to happen sometimes,
and I know it hurts you.
But it's part of growing
learning and giving.
Thank you for understanding
when I'm quite
and for bing patient when
you're frustrated with me
because without you my life
would be incomplete
Always remember that I love you
~Kelly S. Murray.

Is short, it's appropriate to express your love, in your own way, when you are ready and a wise dominant will always recognize it even if the words get stuck....

(in reply to Bosn)

Post #: 49

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/16/2007 10:15:07 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I am required to tell him what I am thinking and feeling as it pertains to us at all times. This has been a rule from the start. So the answer to your question was already provided to me in the beginning.

Having said that, I did not want to love him. I did not want to admit to loving him. I was scared to death to love him. And I can remember clear as day when I finally told him I did. It was a few months into the relationship and he asked what was on my mind. I said I was afraid to tell him. He said "Tell me" and reminded me that I am required to tell him. I said "I am afraid to tell you that I love you." Ha! There's a chicken-shit way of saying it. He asked what I was afraid of, and I told him - I did not want to be that vulnerable to someone. He said, "Well do you?" I said "Yes." He said "Then I think you should say it." I trembled and cried and was all dramatic about it, and then said it: "I love you, Master, I love you." He asked me if the world fell apart for having said it? Did lightening strike me down and kill me? And if I was still scared for having said it? I said no, none of those things; rather I was relieved. So, it was out of my system, and I have been telling him repeatedly ever since.

The thing is, the emotion already exists. Not saying it does not deny its existance. Saying it brings it to light, and makes it ok and real. Saying it uncovered the big cloud I had placed over it, and made it not seem so ominous. It took the drama away.

I also remember how afraid I was to say I loved M. I probably still have the letter. It wasn't so much the *love* word that was so difficult , but facing the fact that I was attached in a way that made me feel so extremely vulnerable.

agirl

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 50

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/16/2007 10:56:23 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bosn

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Being that "relationship" means the state of relating to another, a Master does indeed have a relationship with his slaves. The degree to which he chooses to relate is entirely up to him.

Some Masters enjoy a romantic type relationship with their slaves. Mine, however, does not. Love does not equal romance, and I don't confuse the two. Have you never felt affection for a pet?

Semantics again. But since you show that you do know what I'm talking about...
Yes. Of course I develop some affection for my slaves. And they are rewarded for doing well. I am, however, very careful that it does not grow into anything else because it is my experience that once the "romantic" relationship starts, so do the expectations... the special perks...
Bosn

I also separate *romance* from love.

I don't know what loving in a *romantic* way is, really. M has never, ever said that he loves me........but I *feel* loved.

The way you're describing it, it seems that you're speaking about a potentially manipulative situation.

Just because I feel I'm cared for, doesn't mean I want to exploit it nor does it mean I'd be able to.

agirl

(in reply to Bosn)

Post #: 51

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/16/2007 6:22:17 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I also remember how afraid I was to say I loved M. I probably still have the letter. It wasn't so much the *love* word that was so difficult , but facing the fact that I was attached in a way that made me feel so extremely vulnerable.

agirl

Bingo. It was the vulnerability that scared me at the time. Not so much now though, lol. Now it's the opposite -- the more vulnerable I am to him, the safer I feel. Go figure :)

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 52

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/16/2007 9:02:11 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I find myself more open to telling all the people that I love this simply fact. It is really ok to love someone and not be loved back. I think that is the deepest fear of saying those three little words... they are ladden with a lot of baggage. I say them when I mean them.

Here is the thing, the last time I said this for the first time, I told him I was not saying it to hear it back. I told him I was saying it just to let him know how much he meant to me... no expectations, because the expectation of having it returned is what hurts... release that, and it does not matter how they feel anymore.. it just matters that they know they are loved. In my case he did say it back... I am sooooo very grateful for that.

Now I do not say these words as often as I should perhaps. I do not want them to lose their power, and when I say it I mean it, and if he feels like saying it back he will, if he doesn't he won't... because it is said without expectations... and that is soooooo very beautiful to me. I love him even if he were not my Daddy, but he knows this.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to wingedangel)

Post #: 53

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/17/2007 8:58:34 AM

chrissyslave

Posts: 95
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I find myself more open to telling all the people that I love this simply fact. It is really ok to love someone and not be loved back.

Just to add another flavor to this topic, I don't have anyone in my life at all whom I love,.. friends, family or whomever, and haven't for a long time (nor they with me). And for myself I doubt that being a slave will mean I will love my future master, although think I can admire, adore and fully appreciate one in time. If that was my goal I would first find one to fall in love with and the submit to him. But if it were to happen so be it, and would share it as needed communication as with all significant thoughts and feelings.

_____________________________

Healthy living, diet and exercise...and you say that's a bad thing?!!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 54

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/19/2007 5:01:00 PM

JustUsTwo

Posts: 10
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline

for the OP:
I hesitated a long time before telling Him I loved Him, because I knew that He was not ready to say it back to me, and I didn’t want to tip the scales. But then there came a point where I was actively not saying it most of the time and it was getting in the way. I knew if I didn’t say it, I was getting in the way of what I knew was possible between us. By saying it, I knew I could ruin everything. But by not saying it, I would definitely kill what chance we had at great love.
So I said it. And burst into tears! (oh so romantic, right?) And found a way to love him while He was still finding His way toward loving me.
Now we are both deeply in love with our life and with each other, deeper and deeper in this dynamic.
I believe the worst thing any of us can do is not be ourselves, is try to be what we think someone else wants, rather than live as close as possible to our deepest truth, moment to moment. I have found that when I live out loud, as true to my truth as possible, no matter what results, sorrow or joy, I can go forward without regrets.
She

(in reply to chrissyslave)

Post #: 55

RE: Saying how you feel - 2/19/2007 6:17:48 PM

sugarcandy

Posts: 96
Status: offline

Bosn: Many times we women, especially, call affection, devotion, caring, being allowed to serve Master "love".

Doesn't necessarily mean romantic love like hearts and flowers.

sugar

(in reply to Bosn)

Post #: 56

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