Finding the feeling again ???

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Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/26/2006 3:48:02 AM

mystique2003

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Joined: 8/27/2006
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I have been away from Master for a few months. We used to keep in touch online messenger, e mails and phone calls but now it has come down to only e mails which were more or less a daily thing. I have been with Master ( owned by him) for over 6 years and yes been with him several times in that 6 years for various amounts of time.

I am going to visit him the first of the New Year but I have found that it "seems" like my feelings for him have changed. I still love Master but I don't know if enough anymore. Could this be just cold feet because we have not had a lot of time to talk together ( his work schedule or mine)? Will the feelings come gushing back once I am back with Him do you think? I would like to hear if any other subs or slaves who are not with their Masters 24/7 get these feelings and how they cope with them.Would like to hear opinions and experiences of the subs slaves in 24/7 too.

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/26/2006 3:55:13 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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This isn't an easy one. I don't know if the feelings will come back or not. They could...but be prepared if they don't. It may very well be that you are simply feeling anxious and that will all fade once you are with him again. Good luck

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/26/2006 5:22:06 AM

agirl

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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I am not physically with my Master 24/7 but contact is vital, for me, at least. I've never experienced that little amount of contact.

I imagine that my feelings would change/shut down to protect myself and to function. If it was for any length of time I think they'd do so permanantly.

If you've enjoyed a lot of contact and it's whittled down to just emails, the space that HE filled beforehand will become filled with other things as you begin to live without it. It has to.

No-one can tell you whether your feelings will surface again in the same way.......but you'll know soon enough. If they don't, well, you've already been living without him, to a fair degree.

Regards, agirl

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/26/2006 9:39:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Just be yourself and see what time together will bring. Only you can decide if this relationship still serves you and fulfills who you are. Most relationships have days/weeks/months where they don't FEEL all fluttery and connected to eachother- and that's very very ok.

What I tend to do is take note of it, keep going as normal, and it either comes back or I find myself becoming empty.

Decide for yourself what you want your vision of your future self to be and go with that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/26/2006 12:17:29 PM

ownedgirlie

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I am not in his presence 24/7 but during the time that separates us, he is keenly in tune to my thoughts and feelings at all times and any time I have felt withdrawn he has helped guide me back to where I need to be.

I can only suggest you talk to your Mistress about this. She needs to know and understand you are feeling differently. She can not fix a problem if she doesn't know about it. It takes both/all parties to build and maintain a relationship. If you are feeling differently, she needs to know.

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/28/2006 8:44:50 AM

ADomlesssub

Posts: 69
Joined: 3/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

I have been away from Master for a few months. We used to keep in touch online messenger, e mails and phone calls but now it has come down to only e mails which were more or less a daily thing. I have been with Master ( owned by him) for over 6 years and yes been with him several times in that 6 years for various amounts of time.

I am going to visit him the first of the New Year but I have found that it "seems" like my feelings for him have changed. I still love Master but I don't know if enough anymore. Could this be just cold feet because we have not had a lot of time to talk together ( his work schedule or mine)? Will the feelings come gushing back once I am back with Him do you think? I would like to hear if any other subs or slaves who are not with their Masters 24/7 get these feelings and how they cope with them.Would like to hear opinions and experiences of the subs slaves in 24/7 too.

hey mystique...

i am by no means a relationship expert - but i do know about us chicks!!

we are an emotional lot that need mental and emotional stimulation... guys really are from Mars and us Venus (BTW if you haven't read that book i would suggest it.....)

you haven't said whether you and Master will once more be living together? have you spoken to Him about this?

here is a link to a blog written by my exMaster - it talks about peaks and troughs and i think you will find it interesting darling.... http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/Altissimus/111688/

you won't know for sure how you feel until you are with him - spend some together, tell Him how you feel and then do some heart searching...

good luck lovely
snarf
xxx

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/28/2006 11:22:20 AM

NaiveTempest

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
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I think in any relationship, BDSM or vanilla, distance is hard on a relationship, and it usually does require alot of other types of contact like phone calls, IMs, emails, and even WRITTEN (a long lost art) letters to help keep it alive. If you are down to emails then yes, you're probably going to instinctively find other ways to help you feel fufilled; self-preservation. But, you will never really know or be able to decide what the next step for the two of you are if you don't go meet him like you planned and then TALK to him openly while you're there and get him to talk to you too. No guilt trips or yelling or anything, just sit down together and talk and see how you both feel about the direction your relationship has taken and will be taking. And sometimes old relationships just need a refresher because one or both parties have become complacent, keep that in mind too.
I hope everything turns out best for both of you and your needs.

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/28/2006 1:02:31 PM

impetuousone

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Joined: 11/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

Could this be just cold feet because we have not had a lot of time to talk together ( his work schedule or mine)?

Will the feelings come gushing back once I am back with Him do you think?

Very easily! I had this happen in my life and it is a bit of self preservation to try to back off a bit emotionally thinking all the worst thoughts possible.

Just the visual of finally seeing him and feeling his presence brought it all back for me and hopefully it will for you! Gushing is the word!

Take a deep breath! Try to relax! You have to see him again to know if your feelings have changed, so you might as well go with positive thoughts!

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/29/2006 7:23:23 PM

acctonthelook

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Joined: 3/28/2006
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i had this with my last Dom. his job, his phone, his computer all wouldn't work, took his time etc

you know he had a little secret...hmmm a wife, Yes very good deduction.

before i was told his secret...for me the distance was maddening. i realised then i needed a hands on consistant Master/ Dom in my life, no excuses. sure we all have life issues that get in the way, but i need consistancy to feel connected.

twice i was able to get that fluttery feeling back, then my suspicions started...he knew to come clean, we ended.

just know your needs and in time your answers will come, as to what they are. every time we meet and engage in a relationship with someone, we learn something about ourselves, if we're listening...

good luck and listen to Your heart, not what happened to each of us or the opinions or advice.

KNOW thyself first!

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RE: Finding the feeling again ??? - 12/29/2006 7:30:56 PM

darksdesire

Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
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I agree with what many others have said. Sometimes we detach in order to cope with the emotional pain of missing someone. I've done it, and have worried that the detachment was permanent. While I do believe it's probably dangerous to the relationship to allow that detachment to continue for any length of time, a brief period of detachment will likely be followed by a renewed and loving connection. If I were you though, I'd talk with him about this, and about stepping up the amount of contact so as to keep the attachment strong. I don't think a relationship could survive this lack of contact for very long.

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