RE: looking for another perspective on pain

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subsa -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 2:29:19 PM)
sweet sub...i definitely agree domination can have absolutly nothing to do with pain. and for me that's where i feel the domination most...in things non-pain related. that's what i meant when i said to DW that i have loss of control in other aspects of my life. what i'm trying to understand is where your head is when you're receiving the pain stimulus. for me, it feels great...very arousing...i feel a flow of energy that is incredible. so that's where my focus is during the scene. i saw this woman take a great deal of pain for a long period of time. she hated every second of it yet her face was so beautiful..i can't really describe it. i'm trying understand where she was during that time. from what you say your focus is your submission to your Master and that's what gets you through the experience. would that be a true statement?

akisha -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 2:55:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subsa kisha what is the difference between when you crave the pain and when you accept the pain? is it the type of scene (say whips as opposed to needles)? or is it just how you feel on that particular day? what would you say is the major difference in the way you react in the two types of scene? If I'm highly stressed, usually from work ( high responisbility demanding job) then I crave a spanking or flogging just to release the fustration, anger, and stress. Now when He put me up on a wooden pony (felt like hours) with the addition of clover clmaps and such, that was purely for his enjoyment in watching me suffer no matter what I did. I did it to please Him and make Him happy. sometimes it's how I feel on a particular day, sometimes it's the action we're doing. There are many things I don't think I'll like but I'm willing to try for Him and then discouver I enjoy it myself. Then there are things I want to try because they sound interesting and I discouver I really don't like them but He does so we may do it again to just please Him. Funny thing, is sometimes what works wonderful one day will be horrific the next. I'm thinking partially hormones and partially mind space has to do with that. Also if I'm trying to do something for Him and I feel I'm failing in his expectations, even ifhe says I'm not then I find the situation emotionally stressful and psychologically painful. But I'm kind of wierd that way.

daddysprop247 -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 4:30:58 PM)
i guess i am that strange third type of submissive/slave, as i endure pain for my Master's pleasure. i get no pleasure or rush from pain and i have a very low pain tolerance. i also am never beaten in the context of a "scene"...that's just not something my Master is into. when i take pain admitted by my Master (or by someone he has allowed to beat/use me), well and without any fuss, then yes i do feel a sense of pride, because i know how pleased Daddy will be with me. He has no interest in beating a girl who is going to enjoy or "get off" from the experience. when he is in that mode, he needs someone who will suffer for him. and he knows that with me, it is always true suffering, and that appeals to his sadistic side.

slavemaia -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 5:23:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subsa i've noticed there are two fairly common general sub types...those that enjoy scening for the pain and those that enjoy the scening dispite the pain. i fall into the enjoying the scening for the pain group. i don't consider myself a masochist though because the pain isn't perceived by me as pain at that time. i recently observed a scene where the sub was the other type (enjoying dispite the pain). i was profoundly aware of her pain even though she wasn't being overly dramatic about it. it seemed so beautiful and a real statement of her devotion to her Master. i'm interested in understanding that perspective. would anyone like to share their experiences? Ya, i'd have to fall into the it depends on my mood etc. if i enjoy pain and how much and what type. Typically i do enjoy a certain degree of pain but i'm learning to bare more than i enjoy for Master's sadistic pleasure.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 5:51:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subsa LA; so you're saying that you like things about pain (before hand and afterwards) that please you enough to endure the pain? where is your head when the pain is actually happening? that's what i'm trying to understand. are you thinking about what's going to happen after? for me, i feel a very tangible power transfer during the moment that is intoxicating. do you feel it before and after but not during? Sorry, the bracket buttons don't work here so I'll have to answer all in one. No- I endure the pain because I am ordered to endure the pain. There are other things I take out of pain play- submission, pleasing the dom, feeling scared (I get off on fear- pain is scary) and such. But trust me, I could live my whole life without feelings THOSE emotions from a source of pain the rest of my life and be perfectly happy. I can also gain those feelings just as well withOUT pain and get the combo of liking the activity directly itself. During the pain? I'm going "Fuck fuck, that fucking hurts, god that fucking hurts, please make it stop hurting, oh god please stop." After the pain? I'm going "Whew, ok, good, survived that ok, can we please never do that again?" After the pain, I can go into subspace due to the intense connection- but only AFTER the pain is gone and I've been assured that it won't return. I'd much prefer to go into subspace from something NOT painful. I remember one scene where a few newbies were watching and afterwards came up to me and were in awe of "how much I had taken" and "how devoted I must be." I just kinda looked at them like they'd sprouted another head- I was chained up and it was what master wanted to do with me- what else was I supposed to do? Sorry, I get nothing from pain itself except pain. While I do understand that I am under his authority, and I do it because I am under his authority, it does nothing to "brighten" my sense of submission" or "remind me of my place"- it's simply pain and I will deal with it in the end.

sadlildolly -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 7:11:24 PM)
oops, wrong question.

Sweetlilsubintx -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/27/2006 7:23:03 PM)
That is definitely a true statement! I do not necessarily take the pain well with a beautiful face!!! I take it and I don't get enjoyment from the pain alone, but I do get enjoyment from submitting to it. I don't receive a rush from the pain while it's occurring, but I do feel empowered when it's all over and I "did it"! I'm not sure where that girl was during the scene! I'm very "here" during our "play" time...I can't seem to drift into it unless the pain is inflicted slowly (I mean I'm given a chance to breathe again and take it in before He gives me more). There are so many different thoughts and feelings that happen all at once, so I'm not sure I'm really able to nail down exactly what is going on in my head, etc. I can describe it as intense and powerful...empowering, but not pleasant at the time. I hope that helps some! sweet sub

MasterFireMaam -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 2:09:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subsa i've noticed there are two fairly common general sub types...those that enjoy scening for the pain and those that enjoy the scening dispite the pain. I'd like to throw a wrench into this: you do not have to be a sub or a slave to bottom or be a masochist. quote: would anyone like to share their experiences? Enduring pain for the sake of endurance, for whatever reason, has long been a spiritual thing...rites of passage or to show spiritual devotion, for example. Take a look at the Modern Primitive movement. I think that you'd be interested. Master Fire

SlaveAkasha -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 3:10:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subsa kasha, how does your Master feel about your different approaches? can he tell the difference in how you're experiencing the pain? when you do it to please him do you get to sub space? I can't see that he has a problem with any of them. I think in some ways he can tell the difference. When it is the kind that really gets me off, I get sort of quiet, or have a moaning type of thing that happens. When it's more the pain for pain sake, I probably tear up or something along that line, maybe even relax a bit as it gets over. Then if it's to take because he wants to give it, I usually cry (not the fake kind), because the pain can get pretty extreme. Any of the above can get me into subspace. It more depends on the atmosphere. Like I had mentioned in an earlier thread, my Master is very vocal and likes to have me answer back..that takes a bit away from me going to my own "zone" of pleasure and keeps me more feeling the blows and pain associated with each of the different acts. Kasha

katie7 -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 3:28:06 AM)
[:'(]I hate the pain, but as with someone earlier, I hate it while its happening and miss it once it stops.and crave it when there is long absences between paddling. My Master is a great fan of random reinforcement so I never know when He is going to punish with the paddle or punish with words.

SweetBobbie -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 4:19:48 AM)
i do not like pain! In point of fact i am terrified of pain. It took me years to get comfortable with giving myself a shot once a month, i am that big of a wuss. By the same token i get hard whenever Mistress beats my ass or puts clothespns on my nipples. Go figger. Obviously part of me enjoys pain but only part. Of course i am new and Mistress says i will learn to enjoy it.

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: looking for another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 4:21:49 AM)
I was of the mindset that it was a mental mindset then the physical was the cherry on top. Ross

ADomDoc -> another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 5:02:26 AM)
Pain is merely a sensation ... we interpret it as good or bad (or ticklish or something else in between) based upon our previous experiences & teachings & prejudices. Also something that is pleasurable at low intensity may be interpreted as painful at high intensity ... such as music, heat, cold, etc. I had one sub may years ago who enjoyed natural childbirth. Instead of 'pain' of delivery, she said it was like having the biggest dick & the biggest orgasm of her life. It's all in what you are taught & what you expect. Part of tolerating pain is getting your head into the right place ... either blocking it out, or rising above it (as in going into subspace). So part of that depends upon 1) the Dom/me 'reading' where the sub/slave is at & know when/how to step it up to the next notch and 2) whether the Dom/me gives a damn to do it, and 3) whether the Dom/me has the experience to be able to do this effectively. If the Dom/me is a novice, there's probably nothing wrong w/ the sub/slave getting a bit histrionic about the pain ... i.e. exaggerating his/her response to the Dom/me's stimuli. This will serve to satisfy the sado tendencies of the Dom/me & get him/her to quit increasing the stimuli before s/he gets into a dangerous zone due to lack of experience or knowledge. I've seen the bigtime showmanship of a local self-promoting famous Dom while he does singletail scenes w/ his sub who is screaming & writhing on the St Andrew's cross. But when she gets down & is walking around later, she doesn't have a single mark on her ... obviously ALL BS, ALL SHOW ... and, as I've said for a decade, he couldn't whip his way out of a paper bag. BUT, if that's what flicks your Bic ... good for you. It's just a matter of taste ... and integrity. Some subs/slaves DO obviously tolerate any amount of pain just to please their Dom/mes. I've had that type of sub in the past, and it works as long as it's within her general limits OR as long as I've brought her along slowly so she can get into subspace & take more and more stimulus. Then there's the case of my last slave of 9 yrs. she had a lot of medical problems that caused her pain, and most drugs didn't really help her ... BUT she got a lot of relief of her chronic pain due to the endorphins released by a torture session with me. There are other twists on pain. It can mollify guilt, be an absolution of sin. It can show one's subservience & level of obedience or debasement. Some have said that a true sadist can't be satisfied w/ tormenting a masochist because the maso enjoys the pain ... and the sado can only enjoy tormenting someone who doesn't enjoy it. But ... considering legalities, who better to team up with? And ... even w/ a maso ... it's still a matter of intensity, duration & depth ...as well as technique & type of stimulus. Even a maso takes some time to get his/her head into a place to enjoy the pain ... so a talented sado Dom can always get around the theoretical incompatibility of playing a maso. I make a point of paying attention ONLY to the sub/slave I'm playing at the time ... and I read her well enough to know where she is at in a scene & when I can push her further. Admittedly, this has come with practice ... I wasn't nearly as good 30 yrs ago as I am now. And it's a BIG mistake for any Dom/me to play a sub/slave in a public scene IF the Dom/me can't learn to ignore the bystanders. Any Dom/me who starts playing to the crowd will invariably have a poorer quality scene & will lose control of where the sub is (in relation to subspace). And the measure of a good scene is (IMO) whether the sub/slave enjoyed the scene as much as I did. And if the sub enjoyed the scene, the bystanders will invariably think it was a good scene. (But if the Dom/me plays to the bystanders, nobody will be satisfied.) YMMV

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: another perspective on pain (12/28/2006 8:29:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ADomDoc I make a point of paying attention ONLY to the sub/slave I'm playing at the time ... and I read her well enough to know where she is at in a scene & when I can push her further. Admittedly, this has come with practice ... I wasn't nearly as good 30 yrs ago as I am now. And it's a BIG mistake for any Dom/me to play a sub/slave in a public scene IF the Dom/me can't learn to ignore the bystanders. Any Dom/me who starts playing to the crowd will invariably have a poorer quality scene & will lose control of where the sub is (in relation to subspace). And the measure of a good scene is (IMO) whether the sub/slave enjoyed the scene as much as I did. And if the sub enjoyed the scene, the bystanders will invariably think it was a good scene. (But if the Dom/me plays to the bystanders, nobody will be satisfied.) YMMV Well you made a turn into a different point here- I think a top should be aware of the physical space in a scene. There can be dorks who get too close, talk too loud, have bad energy that will conflict with your scene and all sorts of other things which a top SHOULD be away of in the scene as they are focused on their bottom. A top who isn't aware of their environment and possible threats to the scene is as bad as a top who cares ONLY about getting attention. Secondly, bringing an audience into your scene can be oodles of fun and exactly what a scene calls for. Working the energy of the crowd can be a fabulous addition to a scene.

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