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justheather -> RE: Do You Think You Were "Born This Way" ? (12/29/2006 2:30:04 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SusanofO
***question: So anyway, do you think you were born like this, or just somehow fell into learning about it, and just "adapted" to it, and like doing it and relating this way - but it isn't a "core" part of you that you were born with?
Thanks for any replies.
- Susan
I remember my mother reading me fairytales inwhich, for example, a child was locked in a cage, and feeling fascinated and strangely attracted to the idea of me being the person being punished, captured or humillated. I thought the best part of Cinderella was when she was serving her stepsisters, not the part where she goes to the dance. I had fantasies of being abducted and held prisoner at the age of five. One particularly pleasing fantasy I used to lull myself to sleep with from age four on involved public humiliation, bondage and degredation.
Ive never had a rewarding or fulfilling 'vanilla' romantic relationship...I never was happy in them for more than the first few months. I would say in hindsight that I was silently begging them to love me the way I needed to be loved. In a power exchange relationship I have found the freedom to be my true self. Embracing my submission has been amazingly fruitful in terms of spiritual and personal growth.
Whether I was "born this way" or this path simply appealed to me from a very young age is not particularly relevent to me, but seeing as many of my earliest fantasies revolve around submissive themes, I do tend to lean in the direction of believing that it is something "hard wired".
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