RE: Rethinking my orientation

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RE: Rethinking my orientation - 1/27/2007 7:36:23 PM

QuietlySeeking

Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Queenalice

quote:

I don't sport the classic earmarks of a submissive when I am in that state of mind. My pain tollerance is frighteningly low, and shows no sign of getting any better.

Perhaps I should rephrase this. I am not a huge masochist. But I will accept pain from my Mystress if she sees fit to give it. (a rare occasion, and never over the top) I find myself, however going into fits of anger when this happens. For instance, she slapped me across the face at one point, (an approved action on my list) and it caused me to switch, instantly. It wasn't all that painful, but the action of it caused a "How dare you strike me!" type of reaction.

Perhaps the problems lay in the difference between what I want and what I can take.
Thank you again for letting me pick your brains

Just because you reacted that way once or twice doesn't mean anything. I know a switch who reacted the same way when she was being topped and was spit on. Her Dom quickly found himself shuffled out the door, her yellling at the top of her lungs, with barely enough time to get dressed. It was something that triggered an emotional response from her past. Once she dealt with the past experience, she was alright with it in subsequent play-dates with that Dom....

Don't characterize yourself based on particular events....choose based on what you feel inside when she isn't physically in your presence....IMHO, but what do I know...I'm just a Dom. *laughing*

(in reply to Queenalice)

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Post #: 21

RE: Rethinking my orientation - 2/2/2007 11:42:25 AM

softcoresicko

Posts: 41
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Queenalice

I've had time to think about it recently and talk to some peolple and I'm begining to wonder if I am a switch at all. To be honest, I hate to pose as something I'm not. So, maybe those who have more expeirience in this can guide me a bit.

So I guess my real question is; Am I a switch, or a Dominate that enjoys occasionally being Dominated by one particular person? I know that no one can answer this but me, but I would respect any feed back. The last thing I want is to be a fence-sitter.

I think what you are depends on how you feel. If people are interested in knowing more about you, you can certainly explain your specific views on the lifestyle; and if they aren't, if they expect you to act in a particular way due to your stated orientation, then they probably aren't worth talking to.

Frankly, I'm a bit worried about the labels as well; I'm not really interested in domination OR submission, more an equal partnership that involves kinky play. Maybe I'll just call myself a VELK; a Vanilla Eagerly Looking for Kink :) The point is, call yourself whatever you think best fits your personality and your life.

(in reply to Queenalice)

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Post #: 22