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RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/11/2007 1:08:36 PM

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

I just wanted to comment on the books suggested...

I got two recently, The Mistress Manual and The Art of Sensual Female Dominance

The Mistress Manual is moreso geared towards women whose SO's came to them and said "dominate me", it seems. I'm not finding it useful.

The other I am finding moreso useful, however the relationship with my sub isn't as strict as this woman writes about. But it does contain useful information, and not so much in the cloyingly sweet nature of Mistress Manual.

(in reply to angaothsi)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/11/2007 2:12:40 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

You would probably really get into Elise Sutton's book FEMALE DOMINANCE which has been referenced on this site before.

j.

(in reply to belljar)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/11/2007 3:09:00 PM

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline

You can sleep with a butt plug all night without damaging the anus. Silicon lubricants dry out less so irritation is less of a problem than with waterbased lubricants. Claudia Varrin wrote a book about Domination Ritual and Practices it is found on Amazon.com. Consider blazing your own trail instead of following others. All you really need is two willing partners, a little knowledge of anatomy, and a wild imagination to write history. Communication after play can fine tune your rituals, and attending National Conventions (Black Rose, Thunder in the Mountains, DomCom to name a few) can inspire your range of ideas. Good Luck and have fun.

(in reply to angaothsi)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/20/2007 10:08:11 AM

youngmistress500

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

Hello everyone---it's been over three weeks now and everything is going great! My boyfriend and I have settled into a routine that is working very well so far.

I spank him every morning to reinforce my rules and expectations. He has gotten hard every time so far, so I usually tease him a little bit before sending him off to get his shower. Sometimes I'll have him lick me too, depending on my mood. I think its a great ritual to start the morning. :)

He also does all of the housework now. Admittedly, it's not much because we have a small apartment, but it's nice to not have to do that anymore. I think it would be hot to get him an outfit, but I haven't done that yet.

He sleeps naked with the plug in his ass (thanks everyone for the advice about that) and, happily, there have been no problems so far. I hope he will be ready for a strapon soon!

I allow him to cum once a week, three times so far, and he seems happy with that. I used these ways so far:

1.) CentralNJDomme's idea---laying on his back and cum on his face!
2.) Kneel and masturbate on the floor... and lick it up! :)
3.) I put him on all fours and pulled his cock back between his legs and gave him a hand job. It's hard to picture, but it was funny. It was even better when I made him lick his cum off of my hand! ;)

I want to start having sex with him again, but I'm afraid its too soon. I don't want him to cum during sex because I want him to wait and do it once a week. Do you all think it would be too hard for him to have sex a few times without cumming?

Thanks again in advance for the help and good advice!

(in reply to submarriner)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/20/2007 12:01:40 PM

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Joined: 7/21/2005
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WOW young Mistress

you do seems too know a few things im also a submissive male i ve had and tried alot of diffrent things and keeping a plugg in while it was in a condom ive done for hrs and was held in place by a thong panty...some of my humiliation orgaisms where simple but rewarded in the end. but you do know you place as a sub at least i did doing as i was told .... many many orgasims while wearing panties and eating form them n cleaning them as well. since i was cut off from sex a sex doll was use dby me as well ,as again wearing panites when doing it but like most have stated here its up to you and your submissives too see what you both enjoy or what you enjoy seeing him do for you .....

(in reply to youngmistress500)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/21/2007 3:04:02 PM

Posts: 111
Joined: 2/16/2005
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If this is an "Ask A Mistress" forum, why is it that we have several subs "chiming in" with their thoughts and opinions? Not that they are discouraged or unwelcomed, but they have their own fora for doing so...it's called "Ask A Submissive!" Also, I am sure that they can gain some invaluable info. by reading our fora and that is not what I am complaining about. I've seen one sub in particular that has answered quite a few of these posts as well as some male dominants. When I personally ask a question from a particular group, I post it under that heading and if I want the opinions of BOTH dominants and submissives, I post it under both areas. Just a thought!

And to answer the OP's question, I think you are definitely "on the right track." I suggest keeping the "lines of communication" open like you already are and EDUCATE yourself. Already, quite a few great books have been mentioned and their are many online resources that can be helpful as well. Other than that, you are doing the best thing by asking the advice of those that have personal experience in this area, although no two D/s relationships are alike. You will find over time...and through "trial and error"...what works for you. Good luck!

< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 1/21/2007 3:07:25 PM >

(in reply to aimtopleaseyou22)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/21/2007 8:30:14 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva

If this is an "Ask A Mistress" forum, why is it that we have several subs "chiming in" with their thoughts and opinions?

Because fortunately, there are a few subs out there who have interesting thoughts and ideas and can hold up their side of a conversation.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to gothicdiva)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/21/2007 8:43:30 PM

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
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One suggestion for having sex with your submissive without him being able to orgasm: I use a latex penis sheath (they cost around $18-$20 on the Extreme Restraints website), with layers underneath it. Put a condom on the submissive first, then wrap that in vet foam tape, then top it with the latext sheath (please note this is not for birth control, just for reducing sensation.) He won't be able to feel much of anything, and you'll have your fun.

Best of luck!

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 8:17:46 AM

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva
If this is an "Ask A Mistress" forum, why is it that we have several subs "chiming in" with their thoughts and opinions? Not that they are discouraged or unwelcomed, but they have their own fora for doing so...it's called "Ask A Submissive!" Also, I am sure that they can gain some invaluable info. by reading our fora and that is not what I am complaining about. I've seen one sub in particular that has answered quite a few of these posts as well as some male dominants.

I don't take the name of the forum too literally. My interest is female dominance. While the name of the forum may suggest a Q&A with dommes, I see this forum to be more a general discussion forum for female dominance related matters. I consider this forum my home and most of my participation, reading and posting, occurs in this forum. I also welcome participation in a femdom forum by anyone with interests outside of femdom. How I feel about their participation is the same as how I feel about the participation by femdom enthusiasts--it depends on the spirit and nature of the participation, not on how they identify.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 1/22/2007 8:49:25 AM >

(in reply to gothicdiva)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 8:32:48 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva
<snip> and if I want the opinions of BOTH dominants and submissives, I post it under both areas. Just a thought! <snip>

And this violates the TOS here... Just a thought!

otherwise....LOLOLOL
Ron(ne)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to gothicdiva)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 10:56:05 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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I have to say that the Mistress Manual was useful to Me as a starting guide.It helped to identify some of the feelings I have and how I see Myself.
I thought it had great info for a beginner,which WE all are at some point.

The Story of O...was an interesting story about one womans journey.

I'm sure the website for www.frugaldomme.com is here somewhere..it too is great for beginners and it has tips for making your own toys so that may help you as you start out.

Good Luck in Your journey,
Miss. Sassy

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to youngmistress500)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 4:32:12 PM

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Joined: 1/21/2007
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I am somwhat a beginner Mistresss (2 years) and have found everyones repsonses on here quite educating, thank you! Somethings that work for Me..I defintely agree with the sissification...make up too is a good accesory to this. Also, if my sub does not keep his weight, I wrap his body uncomfortably tight in saran wrap and make him wear it the rest of the day. Also, when I leave the house for the evening, I will chain him up in a room by his collar so that he can do nothing but wait for Me to come home. Communication is key. I find out what he likes, and add a little more pain and my own flare to it. Good luck!

(in reply to angaothsi)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 5:46:40 PM

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Joined: 12/22/2005
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Youngmistress, you seem articulate and sensible, which is great to see. You also have some clear ideas about what you want and how your relationship should be structured, which must have made it much easier for authors of the above excellent responses to offer good advice.

If you're interested in improving his anal elasticity, stretching is good, but exercising the sphincter may be even more helpful. Effectively, he needs to do Kegels with his ass.

It's never too soon to start having sex, if that's what you want. If you're into having control, it's about your desires, isn't it? If he can't restrain his orgasm, he can tell you. You might make a game of it--you'll give in to his pleas to stop fucking him, but he has to do something else (within agreed-upon parameters, naturally) that you want that he may dislike/find humiliating/find painful.

Since you mention a strap-on, I'm reminded of another option for you to have sex. I think I read this on Mistress Matisse's blog (mistressmatisse.blogspot.com). Affix your favorite dildo to your harness, then attach it to him, near his flesh penis. Enjoy a good fuck with the dildo. This may frustrate him, which is why it's fun. It occurs to me that if you want to do verbal humiliation, you can do a nice little riff on how his original equipment is so inadequate that he needs to attach a cock. If emasculation appeals as a fantasy, you could take that line a bit further, and dirty-talk your way into suggesting that he should have his dangly bit removed, since it wasn't really any use to you and gets in the way.

Monica

(in reply to youngmistress500)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 8:28:53 PM

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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I think CrouchingTigress posted an excellent list of some points to consider in another thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_753442/tm.htm

Cheers,

Sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFauxFire

and what are some common mistakes made by new Mistresses?

common mistakes:

not being consistent

not communicating throughly at the beginning about goals not really having a plan

using corporal punishment for infractions will often encourage a masochist to to continue behaving poorly

getting lazy with the dynamic

loading the sub down with restrictions that you dont really care about, and therefore easily miss when he does not do them, but i guarantee he notices them, and will feel abandoned.

not being safe, not putting the care and diligence in to learning the human body, the techniques you want to learn, and all the safety procedures

not following through on what you have agreed to

raising your voice and or hitting out of anger (power whispers it has no reason to yell)

bringing in others to the dynamic prematurely

not having the good comunication skills and emotional maturity that it takes to own another human being

wearing white after labor day

(in reply to belljar)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 1/22/2007 8:38:26 PM

Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline

as a submissive im sorry too all you Mistress maybe i should leave the site i ment no trouble by responding here ..

(in reply to undergroundsea)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 7/28/2007 1:52:12 PM

youngmistress500

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

Hello everyone. I know it's been a while, like six months or so since I first posed this question to all of you. I've been really busy with school and I haven't found much time to come on the site. Everything is going great for us. My boyfriend is so much more obedient now than he was last year. He does all of the housework in our apartment and for a lesbian couple next door. :)

My question this time around is about chastity devices. I allow him release once every two weeks. I usually invite the couple next door over to watch, since they seem to enjoy it. They offered to buy him a chastity device (so cost isn't that much of an issue) and I'm wondering which device others have found to be a good one.

Thanks again,
L

(in reply to iwearpanties)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 7/28/2007 1:58:29 PM

Posts: 6363
Joined: 3/8/2006
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Hello Mistress, Why decide which books to order. Get them all on his credit card....slave michael

(in reply to youngmistress500)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 7/28/2007 4:52:46 PM

Posts: 98
Status: offline

If you are looking for chastity devices, then I suggest you check out this site:

http://www.cb-2000.com/

(in reply to youngmistress500)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 7/28/2007 5:17:19 PM

Posts: 80
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

If you are going to leave the chastity device on long term the CB-2000 series seems to work best. I have used them for the past few years on my subs, leaving them in place as long as 2 weeks......however I find that the more enclosed devices (3000 and curve) get smelly if left on more than 72 hours without removal for cleaning. Ice works well to decrease organ size if replaceing it after cleaning is problematic. Some organs can have the device put back in place with just a little force, others need ice......depends on the size difference involved. Check Ebay for devices. Because they are plastic, they can be well cleaned if bought on auction.....A nice side effect of the CB devices is the wearer can't pee standing up any more.

Feel free to email me on my profile if you would like more information......

(in reply to rick19)

RE: New Mistress Seeking Help From Experienced Mistresses - 7/29/2007 6:51:39 AM

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Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline

http://www.fetish.0catch.com/hischastity.htm I have heard good things about this company, having it custom made is really the way to go. I have been dissapointed with all the cb's, they are tough to fit and have to be modified to avoid chaffing, slipping off and can be a bit obvious under the pants.

_____________________________

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cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to youngmistress500)

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