Help to get in shape for spring!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Help to get in shape for spring!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Help to get in shape for spring!

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/24/2005 11:29:17 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Spring is fast approaching (and the rains may eventually stop here in SoCal) so ask yourself - Are you ready for bikini season?

If not this calorie burning chart may help you establish your workout routine. It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research a team of scientists proudly presents its results:

REMOVING PARTNER'S CLOTHES:
With consent.................................12 Calories
Without consent........................2187 Calories

UNHOOKING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection................................... 6 Calories
Without an erection........................ 3315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary........................................ 12 Calories
69 lying down.................................... 78 Calories
69 standing up.................................8812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier............................2912 Calories

ORGASMS (hers):
Real..................................................112 Calories
Fake................................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got up immediately.......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
10-19 years................................... --20 calories
20-29 years.................................... 36 Calories
30-39 years.................................... 80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years...................................1972 Calories
60-69 years...................................7916 Calories
70 and over.................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..........................................................32 Calories
In a hurry......................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

Results may vary.....

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/24/2005 11:57:23 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

How come i'm not skinny by now?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 4:06:53 AM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Umm....what's "Italian chandelier"? Sorry if that's a stupid question, but I really don't know.

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 10:12:00 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Umm....what's "Italian chandelier"?

Calliope,
It's a reference to doing 'it' - "hanging from a chandelier". I could say that the fact that it'a an Italian chandelier noted is because the BEST sex, as everyone knows, can only be accomplished with an Italian partner; but that would be self serving.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 10:14:04 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
How come i'm not skinny by now?

Hey Merc that was funny as hell.... and right up my alley as excercise goes.

Proud, I guess it means you'd be a lot bigger if you weren't such a wild/kinky lady

...
I'm looking at your posts more and trying to get used to the paddles, they are kinda cute. For a non-sadist, I sure love the handcuffs. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 6:17:13 PM

MsLisa

Posts: 67
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Italian chandelier............................2912 Calories

Okies...what exactly is the sexual position that is titled Italian Chandelier?

Never mind....saw the answer in the next post...that will teach me not to read ahead....

< Message edited by MsLisa -- 2/26/2005 6:18:27 PM >

_____________________________

www.LovingLee.com

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/27/2005 3:47:00 PM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

http://store.yahoo.net/sexualpositions/chanposakait.html

with animations too

(in reply to MsLisa)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 3/2/2005 5:14:33 PM

MsLisa

Posts: 67
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

http://store.yahoo.net/sexualpositions/chanposakait.html

with animations too

I was expecting Mickey and Minnie Mouse!

_____________________________

www.LovingLee.com

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 3/2/2005 7:40:03 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Mercnbeth...that is priceless...thank you for the laughter

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 9