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dizzymuse -> Eep (5/10/2004 4:46:59 PM)

Hello there...

I have the wonderful oppurtunity to go and train with a wonderful Master, and I am beyond thankful that His Grace has been willing to accept such an inexperienced girl. I shall be moving at the end of August, and I *do* know that this is what I want.

Everyword that His Grace has spoken has made me feel so calm and it is such a relief to finally find what I've always wanted and yet have been either too scared, worried, or embarrassed to admit.

So I come here in hopes that I can get some encouragement about going. Because although I know that I am going to make this journey, I am quite nervous. And would *really* appreciate hearing your stories, comments, suggestions, whatever it is you think would help someone like me.

Thank you so much!



topcat -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 4:58:19 PM)

Midear Dizzy-

Best wishes- I know 6 couples who have been together for more that 3 years at this point, and started their relationship at long distance before moving. It can be a wonderful thing.

I feel I have to put some caution out there, too. Where exactly are you moving to? Do make an effort to get to know others in the area, independantly of your M. before moving- it's just good to have a bolthole ready if things don't go so well.

Best of luck- Stay in touch.

Stay warm,
Lawrence



proudsub -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 5:11:03 PM)

Good luck dizzymuse, i hope it works out well for you. Please keep us posted.



dizzymuse -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 5:31:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat


I feel I have to put some caution out there, too. Where exactly are you moving to? Do make an effort to get to know others in the area, independantly of your M. before moving- it's just good to have a bolthole ready if things don't go so well.




Thank you! It is in Virginia. Quite a move for me! I'll try and make a few other contacts in the area. Thank you for your suggestion.

Take care



dizzymuse -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 5:33:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

Good luck dizzymuse, i hope it works out well for you. Please keep us posted.


Thank you so much! I appreciate words of encouragement more than you could know! lol
I shall be sure and keep everyone posted.
Thanks again!



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 7:33:40 PM)

Good Luck to you.

Just remember it's not always roses......... sometimes the thorns are great.

After all without the thorns there to protect, would there be roses?

As for advise, stay close to your family and friends. Keep them apost of how
you are very regularly until you are there for .... 6 months or more. For your
peace of mind and theirs.


Be well swwet girl and good luck

stormi
property of Master Temji



sub4hire -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 7:42:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dizzymuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat


I feel I have to put some caution out there, too. Where exactly are you moving to? Do make an effort to get to know others in the area, independantly of your M. before moving- it's just good to have a bolthole ready if things don't go so well.




Thank you! It is in Virginia. Quite a move for me! I'll try and make a few other contacts in the area. Thank you for your suggestion.

Take care



I know quite a few pretty well in the Black Rose organization. Do you mind if I e-mail you offlist with a few peoples names? Easy way to make friends who will watch out for you.



dizzymuse -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 8:26:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

ORIGINAL: dizzymuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat


I feel I have to put some caution out there, too. Where exactly are you moving to? Do make an effort to get to know others in the area, independantly of your M. before moving- it's just good to have a bolthole ready if things don't go so well.




Thank you! It is in Virginia. Quite a move for me! I'll try and make a few other contacts in the area. Thank you for your suggestion.

Take care



I know quite a few pretty well in the Black Rose organization. Do you mind if I e-mail you offlist with a few peoples names? Easy way to make friends who will watch out for you.


That would be wonderful



Thank you!



dizzymuse -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 8:29:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR

Good Luck to you.

Just remember it's not always roses......... sometimes the thorns are great.

After all without the thorns there to protect, would there be roses?

As for advise, stay close to your family and friends. Keep them apost of how
you are very regularly until you are there for .... 6 months or more. For your
peace of mind and theirs.


Be well swwet girl and good luck

stormi
property of Master Temji


I think sometimes I prefer the thorns.

I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to keep my *family* updated, because there is no way that they would approve of anything like this...I have the intentions of just leaving. I don't have a lovely family situation anyway, and I honestly don't believe that they would bat an eye.

But I will keep some friends updated.

Thank you~



Estring -> RE: Eep (5/10/2004 11:59:51 PM)

quote:

I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to keep my *family* updated, becauI'm not sure that I'm going to be able to keep my *family* updated, because there is no way that they would approve of anything like this...I have the intentions of just leaving. I don't have a lovely family situation anyway, and I honestly don't believe that they would bat an eye.se there is no way that they would approve of anything like this...I have the intentions of just leaving. I don't have a lovely family situation anyway, and I honestly don't believe that they would bat an eye.


Hmm.



rain -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 2:18:46 AM)

dizzymuse,

i second Estring's "hmm." It seems as though something else is going on here.

From the info you've provided, it makes me wonder: how well do you know this person?

Are you running away from something or someone? What safety precautions are/have you taken in regards to moving?

You mentioned that you don't know anyone in Virginia?

This does not appear to be a very safe plan. Is there something i'm missing?

~rain~



dizzymuse -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 2:47:23 AM)

Hey...

Thank you for all of your replies. I now have everything all figured out!

(forgive me if I don't return to the boards...I'm sure I'll peek every now and then!)

Take care all



indigo302 -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 4:25:52 AM)

I third the hmmmm, especially since you've decided you won't return much to the boards after a couple of hmmm's

Please tell us you've met this person in real life on at least one occassion before deciding to pack up and move to him without letting family know?

indi



inyouagain -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 9:41:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dizzymuse
...I have the intentions of just leaving. I don't have a lovely family situation anyway, and I honestly don't believe that they would bat an eye.

Planning an exit strategy for an August relocation could include informing your family you have been offered a job or a position in Virginia. This would allow ample time for them to adjust to your leaving, and perhaps the domestic situation may improve between now and then. If so, the situation you take with you could be different.

Since you stated you are very inexperienced, I commend you for your presence here, and jokingly suggest reading the Top 10 Troll Lines thread and make sure you don't recognize anything posted there. [:)]

I would seriously recommend using the time prior to your departure fully to your advantage, to investigate and further check out any red flags, or concerns of any kind regarding your relocation destination, and most of all, your new Master... and his desires of you. If there are no genuine concerns or red flag issues, the time could be spent researching the interests of your new Master, perhaps requesting any online resources your new Master may provide for you in the interim.

The joy and excitement of a new relationship can often overwhelm people, especially the less experienced, and cloud their focus with puppy love vision. Don't get me wrong, enjoy your newfound happiness, but take advantage of the time available to ensure your decision is correct, and don't be afraid to conduct background checks, ask others you meet from that area, use the grapvine, etc.

I did look at your profile (you are very young), and also looked at your new Master's profile. Having no direct knowledge of either of you, I can only re-emphasize what I've said above. Your new Master states many things that you should be able to checkout during the months ahead, and feel free to ask for the references he states in his profile are available.

Bottom line: You don't want to jump from one bad situation to another. Consider your own weaknesses and tendencies, to make sure there is no exploitation of same (internal or external, ie. by yourself or another). Don't kid or fool yourself, and be careful not to let others... in the form of a dream like puppy love focus. This is indeed a major step, and it would be to your distinct advantage to be ready for it... in all respects.

Best wishes

Inyouagain



proudsub -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 9:54:35 AM)

Another suggestion would be to google all of his screen names, real name, and phone number just to be sure you know he isn't hiding anything. I just learned that my first master is 10 years older than he told me LOL. When I met him i thought he looked older but didn't dare question him. I found out because i was chatting with his wife a few nights ago and she mentioned his 70th birthday was coming up, hmmmmm i thought it was his 60th.



dizzymuse -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 12:58:19 PM)

My family IS going to know that I'm going to Virginia...they arejust not going to know the reasons why...perhaps I should have reworded that orginial post...They would never understand the reasons for the place I'm going to.

I appreciate all of the concern. I really do! It means a lot that complete strangers show signs of concern. I've already made a few friends outside the bdsm community in Virginia, and I gave them a quite vague idea of what I'm going there for, just that I'd like to have a few other contacts. So I have phone numbers and a few other places to sleep if anything goes wrong.

If something goes awry, I am aloud to leave. And I've talked to His Grace as well as his slave online and on the phone for quite a few hours at hand. Nothing is hidden with His Grace and anything that I have asked (the first time we talked I was quite rude and blunt, because I have been pardon my english, fucked over, in quite a few relationships recently. And although this is a quite different one, I still had concerns) No, I haven't met His Grace yet, but like I said I *am* aloud to leave and I have made a few contacts.

lol, I more or less came on here and posted just to recieve a "welcome to the bdsm lifestyle,hope you have fun" kind of replies, I didn't think I would already be having to defend this! lol

Well do take care and I really do appreciate the concern you all have shown.



proudsub -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 1:29:38 PM)

quote:

No, I haven't met His Grace yet,


I sure hope it works out for you. I certainly would never plan to move in with someone that i hadn't met yet. All i can say is good luck.



rain -> RE: Eep (5/11/2004 9:51:01 PM)

Greetings again,

i read your profile, and His Grace's profile as well. It almost sounds "too good to be true."

i'm not sure how old you are, but you look young. i do hope you have a "back-up" plan in case things do not work out, it would really suck to uproot your entire life just to be stuck in a state where you don't have any friends or family.

Please be sure to give at least one friend or family member as much detailed info as you can provide: His name, address, phone number (s), yahoo Id, description of his car, license plate, etc, etc.

Please be safe and keep in touch!

Best wishes,

~rain~



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: Eep (5/12/2004 4:15:51 AM)

WOW~

Hopefully you will read this and let it soak in.

Knew a girl once from S.C. had talked to a Dom for 3 yrs online.... <AOL> Pain decided to open her home with her 4 small daughters to the Dom she'd been "chosen" by and allow him to control all. No her family did not know of her chosen lifestyle. She had told all the right lies and made all the right smoke screens.

For over 4 yrs Pain and stormi had chatted....it was like a sister i'd never met. Phone or online we'd chat for hours. There had been literally years spent in "Dangr's" Chat. No matter how much begging and pleading from online friends, Pain decided she needed to ignore her gut feeling and follow what her "master" had told her. * stormi refuses to capitalize and show any respect that him*

Long story short, after two daughters complain of school of Uncle.... touching them. After being questioned by police, after opening her eyes, almost 4 months later.... Pain got the courage to throw him out. What she did not count on..............was his temper............his out of control temper.

Before the police could arrive, while Pain was still on the phone with the dispatch, (Thankfully her daughters were with the grandmother)
dangr murdered Pain.

Would not begin to tell you that you are not right, wouldn't dare say don't follow your dreams or heart. What stormi does offer is a very fact based truth to make you hopefully THINK. Being told you will be allowed to leave and actually being able to are VERY different things.

Good Luck.


stormi
property of Master Bear



MizSuz -> RE: Eep (5/12/2004 5:16:16 AM)

There is a song by a fairly new artist, Jason Mraz, in which the lyric goes:

"If all is grounded you should
go make a mountain out of it"


I hear you saying that you are moving in with people you have never met. Do you believe that to be well grounded?

I hear you saying that you are moving into a potentially polyamorous situation with people you have never met. Do you believe that to be well grounded?

I hear you saying that your 'escape plan' includes staying with and/or relying on people you have never met. Do you believe that to be well grounded?

I hear you saying that you have based a choice to uproot your life, completely change your life, and become dependent on people you have never met under a veil of subterfuge and deceit (to your family and friends). Do you believe that to be well grounded?

Are you aware of how easy it is to only see what you want to see, especially when you do not have the rigors of day-to-day interaction to temper your vision with fact?

Please, share with us what you believe is well-grounded in this choice. I am having difficulty seeing it, and would like to.

Don't get me wrong, I know of a few instances in which similar things have worked. I know of a significant amount more in which it didn't.

There is no substitute for face-time. It has a way of screwing up your reality with fact.

Would it not be possible to go for an extended vacation as a 'trial period'? It seems to me that something like that would be much more grounded than changing your entire life without benefit of some of those cold hard facts that can only be acquired through face-time.

While I would love to say "Yay! That Rocks! Good luck!" I'm afraid at this juncture I can't, in good faith, do so. I do, however, wish you well and hope that you are the exception rather than the rule.



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