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RE: Am I being unreasonable? - 1/6/2007 2:36:18 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
1. We started out with him dominating more because I was a newby. Then he became a sub, but will occasionally dominate me if I ask him to. At this point I would say he's 90% sub, but I consider myself half sub half switch (although obviously mostly domme with him). because I equally crave both.

2. At this time, he is denying that a scene took place and is only admitting to meeting her. He said she wanted to play and he told her he couldn't.

Sound to me that his 10% Dom side needs to be excercised, which he may not be able to express w/ you as he sees you fill that part of him that needs to be dominated. You can not really dominate someone if you have to ask their permission first, reffering to thos times where he Tops you. I have seen many switches that can not switch roles with the same partner, the energy just doesn't flow that way for all of us.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

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RE: Am I being unreasonable? - 1/6/2007 2:40:14 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
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No offense, but this is why I don't seek out a switch.
I would never understand where they were coming from.
I am submissive, looking for a Dominant woman, we would not
have that confusion in a committed relationship. Because she would be in charge.
Who is in charge in your relationship? Nobody?

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RE: Am I being unreasonable? - 1/6/2007 3:04:52 PM

defiantbadgirl

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Joined: 11/14/2005
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I just talked to him. He told me that I would never lose him and that we would always be friends, no matter what happens in life. He said that just because he plays with someone else doesn't mean he won't ever play with me or talk to me. He assured me that he would still do both. I told him I didn't like the situation because I was terrified he would fall for her and that would totally destroy me. He said I should never worry about her winning him over because she is just a friend and way too different in her religious beliefs. I asked him if I had more of a chance than she does just to make sure, and he said yes. He assured me that he was never going to date her. I asked him again if he played with her when he met her and he admitted that he did briefly. So those of you who said he did were right. I thanked him for being honest with me, told him everything was fine, and that I trusted him. Unfortunately, then he said he wasn't playing again for awhile because he had stuff to do at home and at work. He teaches at a college and I don't think spring semester starts until the middle of the month. Now I'm scared he's doing what he said he wouldn't do and blowing me off. Those of you who said there was a power struggle going on were right about that as well. I didn't want to drive him away, so I conceded. Did I make a mistake by being so agreeable? It doesn't sound very mistress like and I know he loves to be dominated.

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RE: Am I being unreasonable? - 1/6/2007 10:22:12 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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he has you right where he wants you & no matter what role he plays with you it is pretty obvious as to who is calling the shots here

jealousy is often closely associated with insecurity but it also comes from a lack of trust

clinging to someone is insecure

All of this talk about "I'll always be your friend" "you more important to me than she is" & "I'm real busy right now so we can't get together until another time... blah blah blah" none of that sounds very promising.

Your profile says you are seeking a dominant for a relationship.

It sounds like neither of you are really sure about what you want much less who you want it with.

Time to take a time out. Get your head on straight & figure out where you are going with your goal in a relationship... not the person who you may or may not be involved with but you personally... get in touch with the reality of who you are, what your role in this is to you.

Do this before you get involved with anyone.

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RE: Am I being unreasonable? - 1/6/2007 10:35:11 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
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What a mess.

I keep seeing in your posts that you are bending over backwards to keep this relationship. He has admitted to lying to you. If you were in a monogomous committed relationship he has already cheated on you. He has betrayed your trust, as far as I can see. All of these are red flags.

You are a valuable human being who deserves to be treated with respect.

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oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

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