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Johnson demands a raise! - 5/10/2004 10:16:25 PM   
rain


Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I don't get paid overtime.

My workplace is dark and has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

* * * * * * * * * *
Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised,

the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other
areas.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in

order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the
correct protective clothing.

You'll retire well before reaching 65.

You're unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
completed the
day's work.

And, finally, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving
the
workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.


Sincerely,

The Management

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Johnson demands a raise! - 5/10/2004 11:42:46 PM   
dizzymuse


Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline
Hahaha...

oh my goodness that was amusing!

(in reply to rain)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Johnson demands a raise! - 5/11/2004 10:30:56 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

{snipped}Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised,

the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:{snipped}

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods..

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.

You'll retire well before reaching 65.

You're unable to work double shifts.




Maybe management should look into giving Johnson some Viagra to address these specific problems

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to rain)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Johnson demands a raise! - 5/11/2004 10:33:25 PM   
rain


Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian

[quote]{snipped}Dear Penis,
quote]
Maybe management should look into giving Johnson some Viagra to address these specific problems


i would think a snipped penis has bigger worries! (thanks Loraina Bobbitt!)

~rain~

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Johnson demands a raise! - 5/11/2004 10:37:24 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
ROFL

I guess I was a bit careless as to where I placed those snippages - will have to be more careful in the future/in real life.

and was Lorena aptly yclept or what??

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to rain)
Profile   Post #: 5
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