long distance health issue with sub

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long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 2:38:24 PM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
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My husband an I have both taken on a sub, she is long distance and has health related issues that keeps her from flying here. She has a Dom that is not her Dom but her friend, that is telling her that he loves her and wants her for his. He knows about Us but still continues to confuse her with this whole mess. She is in bad medical condition and cannot speak but through emails at this time. I am not sure what to do about reinforcing the fact that We are here for her when she gets better and not to listen to Him. We are unable to go to her as she is out of the country, but he is is there with her, which confuses the situation. She sends emails with some words of encouragement, and finishes with Your and her name, but still speaks to me with confusion. She cannot handle alot of information at this point, and it is hard to Dom her when she is in an emotional state, and I do not think it is right with him knowing about Us that he is trying to Dom her in the emotional state she is in. Please help with information
Any suggestions?

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 3:04:10 PM

Interesdom

Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
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Since her friend-dom is there and you cannot be, why is it not you that should back off?

Don't take this wrong but I'm thinking of her and in times of need, surely having someone local is helpful and I find it hard to see just what the problem is here, other than you. You don't have to back off, just get her to accept help from someone who is in a position to provide it.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 3:41:49 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

Since her friend-dom is there and you cannot be, why is it not you that should back off?

I was going to ask the same thing. My online dom released me when i met someone local. Maybe she needs the real life experience.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 4:21:57 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Or you just make plans and fly out to see her next month? Otherwise my guess is that its just online games and let her go to someone who can be there.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 5:53:34 PM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
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It is not a fact about the caring, He is aware she has made the choice to come here yet he is still trying to confuse the situation to change her mind. If she made the choice to stay, then that would be fine but she has made the choice to come. Wouldn't it be protocol that if a sub is spoken for and she has told him she is spoken for that he would not continue to try to change her mind? Maybe i am wrong in this, but in what has been put to me, she was moving here to the states anyway not just because of us. That was just a bonus. This is from what i understand not an online deal, but due to health reasons at this time cannot be avoided.
So the question is, how do you explain to another Dom that you want them to stop confusing your sub without disrespect for who he is and what he has done for her as a friend, for that i appreciate what he has done, but not the confusion he is putting in her head.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 6:07:18 PM

Interesdom

Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
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OK, I think I see where you're coming from now.

My advice on this is simple. Don't rely on protocol - you and the other dom are not members of the same club, just because you both have an interest in BDSM. Treat it just like any other relationship: it is entirely up to her to be strong enough to tell him to back off, if that's really what she wants him to do.

If she doesn't have enough commitment to you to make him back off, you can do no good by involving yourself between the two of them. Just concentrate on the relationship she has with you.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 6:46:37 PM

MistressMiss

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I appreciate the feedback and am glad to know my thoughts were there, Thank You for taking the time to respond. I hope I can report something good to come very soon.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 7:20:05 PM

MissXtacee

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Joined: 2/22/2005
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I personally think it is wrong for her Dom friend to try and sway her when she is ill from her choice to come to the states to be with you. Especially since he knows her choice. I hope she gets better soon and is well enough to travel to the Dom/Domme she picked without him confusing her.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 7:23:14 PM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
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Thank You I appreciate that reinforcement, and hope she gets well soon also, We have alot of feelings for her and want her to get better so she can come to the new life she chose. Thank Everyone for your statements.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 8:17:35 PM

FangsNfeet

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Have you ever meet this person? Just curious since she live out of the country and is only e-mailing you. I was also wondering if this was an online relationship. If you know you aren't going to meet then why bother with the relationship. She as someone there and there are others around you that you can acctually see how and when you want to. I'll only talk to ppl online for so long before it's time to step up to the plate and prove your true existance. How sick is she really? Is is possible she's just seeking attention and yankin your chain a little?

Inquiring minds want to know how much time and connection you really have with this sub?

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