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RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 6/30/2004 10:38:02 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

how then does someone actually ever connect and learn to do the things a master would need to do?


At the cam site i used to frequent there is a Master who often turned his cam on to show how he was training a new Master. The experienced one was using his sub wife to show the new one how do certain things. It was always fun to watch. In the chat room he would explain what he was doing when he could. I wish hubby had some training like that.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to sarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/1/2004 7:16:52 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Hello,

From my experiences going to Munches and BDSM clubs, I would recommend that new people not share their lack of experience with the room. Goes back to something Estrict said, which was to just be yourself. Additionally, when I have seen people do that the trolls descend on them like a herd of vultures who spot fresh meat.

Just my take. I dont personally care how much experience the person has to begin with. If we click I suspect we will both get more experienced.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to proudsub)
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RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/3/2004 3:57:13 PM   
tanna


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		(first time posting so please forgive me if i futz it up)

Munches are a great idea, and I can relate to the great advice posted here, but sometimes getting to one can be intimidating even to the bravest of souls.

I remember the vultures hovering at a safe distance when I attended my first munch. The host couple seated me with them, and kept the others from decending upon me. Why? Because I contacted them prior to the munch and explained that I would like to meet so that I knew someone there before going. Otherwise I think I would have been overwhealmed and scared off.

Because of that I try to be helpful to the others who are new, even offering to sit with new subs and Dominants so that they feel safe. I don't often see Dominants doing that for other Dominants at munches, though most look like they need it..

Do any of you offer to be a friendly face for one to connect with in order to get their foot in the door? Just curious.

tanna

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/3/2004 5:10:16 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

Do any of you offer to be a friendly face for one to connect with in order to get their foot in the door? Just curious.


I always go up and meet people and start conversations and the like.

Part of this, looking back, is that I spent most of my life feeling rather
shy. Knowing this about myself, I taught myself to be outgoing and
meet new people and make friends.

After a while it just became habit.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/4/2004 7:25:39 PM   
Checkers


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

At the cam site i used to frequent there is a Master who often turned his cam on to show how he was training a new Master. The experienced one was using his sub wife to show the new one how do certain things. It was always fun to watch. In the chat room he would explain what he was doing when he could. I wish hubby had some training like that.



proudsub,
I wonder if that Dom you mention made videos?
I recall seeing a snippet of video of a professional Domme, and I was impressed by how efficient she was. She did not appear to need to expend a great deal of energy to achieve the effect she desired!
One would not need to emulate another Dom/me one saw on video, but there could possibly be some source of inspiration or learning there (particulartly if you have yet to attend a play party...)
I don't know any titles, offhand ~
does anyone have any to suggest?

Checkers



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Many gods, for many moods.

[link] http://geocities.com/jetpine99/ [/link]

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/4/2004 7:36:29 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

'm surprised no one has said anything about a mentor.


Odd post to read two posts after I discuss mentoring.

*goes back to being a nobody*

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to sarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/4/2004 7:48:26 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Experience can be pretty phoney. I've met plenty of men who say they have 10+ years of experience. It's all in the mind of the Dom. What is experience? Usually they include time online, time between anything they actually did. Now when I hear or read about someone having "experience" I just ignore it. Often it puts me off bothering with them.

If you want to become experienced start small and work your way up, slowly. Don't do anything obviously stupid. Don't play with wax, fire, electricity, etc until you know what you're doing. Don't go overboard with bondage until you know that's what she really wants. It's not that hard to get experience. Use common sense.

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RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/4/2004 9:47:30 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

proudsub,
I wonder if that Dom you mention made videos?


Yes they often showed videos, but also showed live scenes.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Checkers)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/4/2004 11:52:46 PM   
Checkers


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

I think Laura raises a good point.
Experience doesn't necessarily equate with compatibility, to pick just one example.
I used to know a manager of a restaurant, and all of his waitstaff were notoriously lacking in work ethic.
One day I asked him, "What do you look for when you hire someone?", and he replied, "If they don't have (x number of years) experience, I don't even read the resume..."
Experience is good, but it's not everything.





_____________________________

*****


Many gods, for many moods.

[link] http://geocities.com/jetpine99/ [/link]

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How do you become experienced without the experience? - 7/8/2004 5:38:00 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know any titles, offhand ~
does anyone have any to suggest?

Checkers


A number of years back, I think late 80's or so, Home Maid Video put out JayDee's Bondage Notebooks 1&2 starring Jay Dee and Kiri Kelly - basically a set of vognettes where JD explains and shows on video various ways to tie up and otherwise have fun with a submissive - Kiri is, natch, the submissive being tied up - although there is at least one scene where she does some self bondage to 'surprise' JD when he comes in - safety is stressed throughout, and I found it to be a good learning tool as well as a nice bit of mind candy

no idea if they are still available new or if you would have to try and find one at a fetish flea market (if such exist)

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An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

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Profile   Post #: 30
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