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RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 6:32:46 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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Humph, I missed the birth orgasms. I was blessed with short labors though.
Both were medication-free.

#1 - 10lbs, 3 hour labor (I was actually in labor for more like 6 hours, but I slept through the first part, thought it was braxton-hicks, then suddenly when my water broke it got *real*). Huge episiotomy (don't ask), took more time to recover from that episiotomy than anything else.
#2 - 8lbs 12oz, was induced, 6 hour labor, smaller episiotomy, although I tore because I had to push immediately (cord around the baby's neck).

The biggest things that helped me: being in good physical shape before & during the pregnancies, having a focal point to concentrate on during labor -- that made all of the difference.
I was discharged from the hospital on day 2 with both deliveries. I did not notice any difference in tightness, my ex never complained.

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Post #: 21

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 6:45:16 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
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From: Tampa, FL
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i had two long labors, vaginal births with 7 pound babies. i used no medication because i have a phobia about needles and i kept telling myself oh, it can't be that much longer (23 hours with the first, 17 with the second) My first came out "sunny side up" all back labor and literally ripped me a new one and i had 23 stitches. God bless my doctor! Second child was easier, also no drugs, but also needed stitches. i have been told i'm very tight. BTW i was 32 when i had my first and and 34 with my second so i don't think vaginal birth equates to stretched out. Everyone is different. i didn't do a darn thing to prevent them but i never got a single stretch mark on my belly either so who knows? To avoid vaginal delivery for the fear of being stretched? i don't think there's any definative proof that vaginal delivery ruins the vaginal.... it's kinda what it was made for, yanno?

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Post #: 22

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 8:48:05 AM

DaddysLilPet

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Fast reply...Three births here.

1st child 1985 was 8lb 6oz baby delivered with forceps, had episiotomy and drugs.

4 years later, 6lb 7oz baby local annethesia, three stitches.

8 years later, 8lb 14oz baby no drugs at all, no stitches. Still the same as I was, not loose and floppy. Kegals do work.

Think of it this way... a newborn baby's head isn't that much bigger than a man's fist. So if fisting doesn't loosen women up too much then why would childbirth?

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Post #: 23

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 9:15:42 AM

innatedesire

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
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1st- C-Section because he was not in the proper position ever at anytime during my pregnancy. Hopsital for 5 days before going home; back in the hospital 3 days later with a major infection in my uterus where I stayed for another week.

2nd- Well my doctor was upset that i did not pick him up on my way to the hospital, as by the time he got there all he had to do was sew me up as I had torn....ouch!! I chose to stay home and clean, make dinner, fit in some grocery shopping before I felt it was really time to go. By the time I got there they were telling me to just hold on till they got me upstairs, 20 minutes later done, next day home. No drugs, breathing is what helped me the most, it was uncomofrtable but not painful.

Never had a complaint about being loose, in fact the opposite, they sewed me up really good; and I agree with the others, kegals will keep the muscles strong and tight and sit ups also help.

3rd- See 2nd above........except this time they did an episiotomy (sp?) and I opted for a Midwife rather than a Doctor and she was awesome.

I despise hospitals (bad experience once almost bled to death) and since all my check ups were normal with no problems, baby was properly positioned, I did not want to spend hours in a room hooked up to machines "waiting". I found being active and keeping busy really helped me have a fast delivery.

< Message edited by innatedesire -- 1/13/2007 9:25:48 AM >

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Post #: 24

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 3:11:36 PM

Devilslilsister

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Damn, you all are making V birth sound GOOD. I want to rip and then be sewed up tighter. Gee, what a lovely thought! Another one of my "worries" about V birth is the tendency i have heard to "go potty" while delivering. I think i would die of embarressment - which i've told Master. He says he thinks it'd be great. ha!

My c section was due to the fact that at 40 weeks i only measured 36 cm, 4 cm short. So i had to have an ultrasound, they noticed i was dangeriously low on amnio fluid. Set me up to be delivered 2 days later and even with drugs i would not go into labor nor dilate. So C section. When she was born, the docs joked that all the amnio was in her mouth and she was born at 6.9 at 4 pm. I was up and walking later that night, got sent to bed and wouldnt go to sleep cos i wanted MY baby. The nurses convinced me to let go of her for a "bath". It was all pretty easy.

So far it seems that a V birth isnt bad and doesnt stretch you out. i think i'll go hollar at my mother about putting scary ideas in my head about V births. 20 replies and not one person said "yes i am much looser"

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Post #: 25

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 4:32:21 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: alandraofMists
After all of them the time that the doctor suggested for my recovery was not always followed *grins* If you listen and know your body well you will be able to tell when you are ready to take that step after the birth.

yes... those hours seemed to drag on forever... I was in pain waiting for things to um recover. But as always... the fit ... fits *G*

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Post #: 26

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 5:12:16 PM

givemyall

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Joined: 12/3/2005
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Had a drug free first delivery apart from the acceleration which apparently makes it worse ??? (not through choice)... hospital messed up my notes and said I was allergic to a particular group of drugs - It was horrid, that horrid that I was terrified when I found out I was expecting 7 years later. 2nd child I had to have a C-section because he turned and had his feet and chord down, I had that under GA - surreal being put out and waking up with a baby.
Recovery time for the C-section was shorter and easier than for the natural birth - would opt for it everytime! After the natural delivery I hated the feeling that my bits felt like they were touching my knees - yuk yuk yuk... and going to the loo afterwards - oooh nooooo - makes me cringe now to think of it lol
Haven't lost any tightness (I dont think)... aren't women tough!

< Message edited by givemyall -- 1/13/2007 5:14:15 PM >

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Post #: 27

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 5:35:02 PM

Devilslilsister

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quote:

yes... those hours seemed to drag on forever... I was in pain waiting for things to um recover. But as always... the fit ... fits *G*

ah ha! A Man replied. So Mister Man - is it the same before and after? I personally dont think that women can tell as well as a men. We arent the ones......... well u know!

So it fit just normal eh?

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Post #: 28

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 5:37:34 PM

Devilslilsister

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quote:

After the natural delivery I hated the feeling that my bits felt like they were touching my knees - yuk yuk yuk... and going to the loo afterwards - oooh nooooo - makes me cringe now to think of it lol

whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. wha wha whaaaat??

What was touching your knees and whats all the cringing about?

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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Post #: 29

RE: Birth - 1/13/2007 5:45:29 PM

givemyall

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Joined: 12/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

quote:

After the natural delivery I hated the feeling that my bits felt like they were touching my knees - yuk yuk yuk... and going to the loo afterwards - oooh nooooo - makes me cringe now to think of it lol

whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. wha wha whaaaat??

What was touching your knees and whats all the cringing about?

LOL dont remind me - I cant relive it

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 30

RE: Birth - 1/14/2007 11:04:00 PM

MistressTaboo

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Joined: 6/10/2005
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3 kids...all vaginal… First one was over 28 hours of labor…Epidural is your friend…his head never compressed and came out perfectly round. The doctor had to do TWO episiotomies to get him out. 13 stitches. And yes I still love him…

Second one less than 6 hrs labor…epidural…and only 6 stitches…2lbs bigger than her older brother…but her head compressed.

Third one…induced labor about 14hrs…epidural is still my friend! She came out in two pushes. The doctor actually had to stop the pushing because she wasn’t ready and the baby was half out. About 4 stitches since her head compressed and she’s such a tiny little girl.

Hubby says he couldn’t tell any difference…if anything with all the Kegel’s tighter than before…

My first doctor joked about what they called “husband stitches” which is where they put in an extra stitch to make you tighter…but she said 90% of the time IF they do that the wife tears the first time she has sex…and then she winds up looser because they don’t normally come in to have things fixed again.

Hope that helps…

< Message edited by MistressTaboo -- 1/14/2007 11:05:16 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Birth - 1/14/2007 11:23:44 PM

marieToo

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From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

Second - but the first was through a C - section.

I would like to have a normal vaginal birth with no drugs this time, merely for the experience. Course i'm scared to death of doing it with out meds, but i'll see. My mother has had two c sections and was debating with me that having a child vaginally stretches out your hips and your tightness. (aye and she's going to push for me to have another C section LOL)

So i'm just curious as to what other peoples experiences are. Did it stretch and lose its tightness or not?

What was the reason for the C -section? Usually these docs give you every possible chance to deliver vaginally. But sometimes ob-gyns will automatically put you in the C-section pile even before giving you a chance, if you are a small woman.
Im quite petite, but they gave me every possible chance to have a vaginal birth. After I finally dilated, I pushed for about an hour but wasnt making any progress. My baby's head would not fit through my pelvic area. They called it "cephlometric disproportion"...which basically means that my frame was not large enough for the baby's head to fit through.
If your first one was a section due to this reason, your second one will probably be a section too. I kinda will always wonder what it would have been like to deliver vaginally. .
Talk to your doc about it and see what he/she says about your odds of having a vaginal birth. But the most important thing is just getting that baby out of your body in the best possible way for the both of you. Plus the pain meds you get after the surgery are almost enough to make it worth it.

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Post #: 32

RE: Birth - 1/15/2007 3:16:31 AM

calamitysandra

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I have 3 unmentionables, all with vaginal birth.
First one a horrible labour of 48 hours and doctors and a hospital I hated. I had a epidural during this one, but it did not take right. Forceps were needed and a epistomy (sp?).
I was home 6 hours after the umbilical cord was cut. Could not wait to get out there.
After that, I opted to bring my own midwife to the birth and it did me worlds of good. Still 20 hour labour, but much relaxter, and with a midwife for me alone, much better taken care of. A small epistomy this time, and home after 2 hours.
With the last one, I was confident enough and comfortable enough to opt for a homedelivery. 10 hours of light labour during which I could go about life nearly like normal, 2 hours hard labour with the midwife. No epistomy, no tearing.
There is no loosening that could be detected, if anything, I am thighter than before, as being pregnant made me more aware of kegels and I have done them ever since.
I would be carefull with the thighter upsewing, though. Very fast "to thight" is reached.
As for the feeling that your bits are down to your knees. It can feel like you are all streched out for some days, but that is just a feeling, not reality, and for taking a pee first time after delivery, yes, it will hurt and sting on your sore bits. It helps to pee while standing in the shower, directing the water to your genitals. The first time you need to poop after birth can be a bit difficult, too. You need to convince yourself, that pushing will not hurt you.
As for going potty during the last stages of delivery, yes, that happens often. But however, it is only a small amount of fecal matter we are talking about, and the midwifes and doctors are used to deal with it. It is gone in a matter of seconds. You can opt for an enema in the early stags of labour, that can help to prevent feces from escaping if you are really worried about that.

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Post #: 33

RE: Birth - 1/15/2007 6:58:31 PM

Devilslilsister

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I had a C section because my OB noticed at 40 weeks i was only 36 cm. So he scheduled an ultrasound. Which i was told was all quite normal. So at the ultra sound later that day, i was told "ooo looks like your low on amnio. Let me get the whatchamacall it Doc to check this out, i also need to call your doc. Dont worry, this is all quite normal"

Which obviously it wasnt. So a scheduled delivery was set in place and they tried inducing me. They tried for about 8 hours . My body refused to dilate even .5 cm. I was starving and my mother was with me. The doc mentioned C section - my mother heartily agreed that C sections are best/wonderful and my stomach agreed. My mother is a champion of C sections! So coupled with her, my stomach, low amnio fluid, and my body refusing to dilate - c section it was.

Went to register at the hospital today and i am SO DISAPPOINTED. They dont do VBACS. They cited lawyers and risks and what not. Which totally absolutetly sucks. My mother of course is pleased, which pisses me off even more.

Master is helpful in suggesting i find a different hospital. Except most of the other hosptials are at least an hour away and i dont really want to be going into labor and then needing to drive an hour. Especially with the possiblity of a ruptured uterus. Low risk, but still. The idea of being stuck in traffic, in labor, and the possiblity of my uterus rupturing doesnt seem like fun.

Master also suggested i move in before it becomes that time (putting me closer to his hospitals) but moving just seems like a big pain in my butt.

i'm frustrated.

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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Post #: 34

RE: Birth - 1/16/2007 4:13:08 AM

CandleInTheWind

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Joined: 10/20/2006
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Okay I guess I am the all time experience one around here for 2 reasons...

I have 6 unmentionables....okay okay now all of you breathe.... breathe!! i know i lost a few of you!
I delivered 4 via traditional route...2 via a doctors assistance. That said   I am a kegeler....started while preggers with #1 and still am a avid fan!  These are My personal facts related to the vaginal deliveries:   I had NO DRUGS for pain during labor and delivery and I didnt have an episiotomy with any of the vaginal deliveries, nor did i sustain any tears.

In regard to the main concern of tightness vs losseness: with the first delivery a baby only 6-15 with a head measuring in a 36 cm in circumference (which is kinda big in my opinion, the kid looked like a sperm)   well from the get go....i was looser thn i started out!, 2 vaginal delivery born at 7-6 with a 32cm circumference. I was even looser. the 3rd a 6-10 baby with a 30cm head   no additional change noted, but #4 vaginal delivery?? a baby who came in at 7-8 and a 34cm head...well I had alll sorts of damage i had things falling down and out and the whole magilla....I used to have to just about tie and 2x4 to my hubby's ass so he didnt fall in!   And so after that delivery I had all sorts of repairs done.   I had what is called a Cystocele and a rectocele i also had a mild uterine prolapse. So when the last was about 7 months old i had everything rehung and put all back to gether and then...and i have maintained that status...I feel tighter than a 16 year old virgin...and my "angle" is off....i have difficulty sexually due to the changes in whazoo. I will tell you that that surgery was THE MOST PAINFUL things i have ever been through   and well I havetn been the same since...

okay that is my anectdotal information now for the 2nd reason i can give my dollars worth of opinion.....as a RN and a montrice (aka doula)   I have attended morethan 100 deliveries...and have also had postpartum interactions with more than 100 postpartum and parenting women.   Your body is never the same after delivery.   kegaling can help you regain some of the snugness as long as you havent damaged any of the tissue...if you have snapped any of the connective tissue you are goign to be looser...and that isnt somethign that is readily known nor is it routinely repaired!   Basically unless your looseness is causing a special sensation noone wishes to mess with it at all.

i know there was a thread on vaginal rejuvination on here w hile back well having gone through said procedure due to the damage i sustained during delivery....i will tell you i would NEVER volunteer for it is painful and nt being able to pee for 6 weeks is enough to make a lady loose her mind!

As far as your hips spreading, well the hips get widened during pregnancy and do not go all the way back...your hips get a bit wider just by carrying a bundle of joy due to the hormonal shift that is also why you waddle like a duck toward the end of your pregnancy...your hips are widened.... and well they DO in fact stretch even more during a vaginal delivery.....in my case i actually dislocated the pubis symphisis during the last 2 deliveries (that is the little piece of cartilege right up front) so well that is the facts according to red...any other questions feel free to contact me on the other side i will answer anything i am able and i as an RN have a medical understanding to it.

have a great day and breath and let the good in the bad out...and happy kegally in....(kegalling taught me to cum)

red

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RE: Birth - 1/16/2007 11:48:36 AM

LeatherRose

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I'm with red on this one. Things do not go back to the way things were originally, more so if it is a difficult delivery. Not to say you can't be tight afterwards, just not as tight as you once were.

I took the Bradley Method classes (natural childbirth) for my 1st son. All was well and great until I had to be induced due to a blocked gall bladder duct. I was really wanting to go all natural and was bummed. It turned out that I should have had a C-section. He was almost 11 lbs. and was stuck in the canal with only his head out. I never dialated further than an 8. He had to be pulled out resulting in Erb's Palsy. He is absolutely normal now though.

Sometimes doctors don't know what is going to happen, my last sonogram had shown him a good 2 lbs. smaller. Who knew?! I am a BIG gal and mom always said I had farm girl hips and would have no problem popping out babies. Boy was she wrong! Come to find out my hips were not made for passing babies through.

One thing I learned in my classes that is very insturmental in vaginal birth is to stretch out the opening ahead of time. By this we used olive oil, and my husband would massage it in and try to stretch gently. Gently being very important! If you start this about 3 months before you are due, and have a normal sized baby, you shouldn't tear. Being closed up smaller than you originally were is not necessarily a fun way to go either. I had a friend whose doctor stitched her too tight afterwards, she still has problems. She can no longer use tampons, and sex is extremely uncomfortable for her.

I have had bladder reconstructive surgery too. Too much pushing while baby wouldn't come out. Now my uterus and cervix are lower too.

Son #2 was a Csection/tubal ligation for medical reasons. Much easier than the first one is all I can say.

Good luck!

LeatherRose

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Post #: 36

RE: Birth - 1/21/2007 2:10:25 PM

CandleInTheWind

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Joined: 10/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

Went to register at the hospital today and i am SO DISAPPOINTED. They dont do VBACS. They cited lawyers and risks and what not. Which totally absolutetly sucks. My mother of course is pleased, which pisses me off even more.

Master is helpful in suggesting i find a different hospital. Except most of the other hosptials are at least an hour away and i dont really want to be going into labor and then needing to drive an hour. Especially with the possiblity of a ruptured uterus. Low risk, but still. The idea of being stuck in traffic, in labor, and the possiblity of my uterus rupturing doesnt seem like fun.

Master also suggested i move in before it becomes that time (putting me closer to his hospitals) but moving just seems like a big pain in my butt.

i'm frustrated.

I had a similar thing happen when i went in to deliver my 2nd child my doctor of choice wasnt there to catch...a doctor that didnt do VBAC was on...I told him that i didnt do elective csectiosn so we will just wait it out and see who wins......I WON.....

No c section and no episiotomy......so it can be done!    find another doctor....there is more risk for you via anestesia nad surgery i recommned a book called the silent knive and also another called Very beautiful and corageous.. (VBAC)

great books yes they are written by women like me the ones that paved the way for vbac back inthe 80's   I was once o f the few women in 1988 that did a vbac.... at that time on long island there was preceisely 2 doctors in suffolk county ny that did vbacs... My advice is to find a midwife and go with her....after all they have medical back up...should you encounter problems downt the road and even at the time of delivery    it really doesnt matter who is cutting open your gut...but who is catching for you when youa re trying to bring a person into the world awake and aware...that is very important...

feel free to contact me ont he other side i have a bit of a connection around the nation for vbackers   we are a cult society...

red

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Post #: 37

RE: Birth - 1/21/2007 3:00:13 PM

Siona

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Can't help but wonder, and no disrespect intended, if your Mom is a C-section queen/goddess/expert, (which tends to make me believe she's never had a vaginal birth) then how would she know if giving birth naturally will stretch things out?

I've had three vaginal births, no drugs, and yes..Kegels are your friend!

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 38

RE: Birth - 1/22/2007 7:31:15 PM

Devilslilsister

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Hey Red

i do have to stay with in my hospitals and my insurance plan. I did find a doctor that WOULD do a VBAC, but it'll also cost 2 grand extra and i'm not about to blow 2 grand on a delivery. Its not like its cheap anyways!

The hospitals around "here" dont do VBAC's and Master checked his hospitals....

the only way i would "win" is if i refuse to show for the scheduled C section and not appear at the hospital until i'm about to deliver..... OR i just refuse to appear at the hospital. I seriously doubt them forcing a C section when the baby's head is sticking out my vagina. But then, i doubt Master would let me do that.

As for my mother - yep never had a vaginal birth and yep i dont believe she has a clue what she's talking about. Which is why i came here = )

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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

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Post #: 39

RE: Birth - 1/22/2007 9:57:41 PM

CandleInTheWind

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

Hey Red

i do have to stay with in my hospitals and my insurance plan. I did find a doctor that WOULD do a VBAC, but it'll also cost 2 grand extra and i'm not about to blow 2 grand on a delivery. Its not like its cheap anyways!

The hospitals around "here" dont do VBAC's and Master checked his hospitals....

the only way i would "win" is if i refuse to show for the scheduled C section and not appear at the hospital until i'm about to deliver..... OR i just refuse to appear at the hospital. I seriously doubt them forcing a C section when the baby's head is sticking out my vagina. But then, i doubt Master would let me do that.

I ran intot he same exact thing it did cost me an extra 2500 when i had my first vbac....somethign that is no longer permissable in NY sate now the docs have to take the agreed amount based upon the delivery manner vaginal or csetion they arent allowed to make the third distinction...

as far as being able to afford it ...let me ask you this...and i do mean to hold you up and give you a bitch slap here...as an RN i have seent he horrors of post operative complications...can you afford to have a wound infection that required a twice aday wound packing the supplies for somethign like that would cost about 200 a week....you have a bunch of month to come up with the differnce...and not for nothing every doctor i have dealt with is will to take apayment plan...

okay different way of dealing with it...i do not know what state you are in...but believe it or not aroudn where i am from anyhow...the vast majority of health center doctors ( think clinic settings) usually have the most flexibility and the better emotional assitance for pregnancies i actually delivery my last 2 in a clinic based midwifery sevice becasue of the BS iwas dealign with after i had a miscarriage...i iddnt want to have to deal withthe doctors affiliated with the midwives who caught my 4th child The doctors were just jackasses..

the other optionis to call the insurance compnay and ask them outright what do you do if there is noone that takes your insurance becasue you have"changed your religion-yeah i know im going to catch hell here but well anything to keep our option open here- that you are opposed interferring with the birthing process and that their participating doctors do not offer that option...

my best option would be honestly find a midwife....midwives CANNOT DO SURGERY they are used to "waiting" fo rth wbaby...want to know how good a midwife is?? look at how fat her ass is..the fatter the more she is used to waiting....

okay i guess you have brought out my right to birth naturally again...those informed childbirth classes werent wasted on me...

oh that is the other group that you may wish to check into...when i was a yago doing herb eating vbac woman in 1988 i was a member of the informed birth and parenting group...if there in your area you can probably ask abotu their recomended caregivers in your area....
I wish i would have gotten my midwifery degree when i had the chance....

dumb question but why'd you have th efirst section??

i had my first becasue honestly after doign all the research on my medical records and the like...i had a section becasue it was a beautiful sunday afternoon in may...and my hubby was nervous...and so the doctor figured that he would do me a favor and sliceme open and get to the golf gameon time.....the 2nd section was related to a prolapsed cord...one of the few definate reasons for a csection...anyhow after that section I ended up with a bowel obstruction which meant more surgery and then i had the wound not heal so i had to pack that for several months until it heals i also had a hernia that needed to be surgiaclly repaired...in those 3 month postpartum period i had 3 separate surgeries and had to take careof 3 kids under 4 years old.....and it costed me alot of money in medical supplies and other expenses....and well yes i slipped into a heavy duty post partum deression.....so ther ya go....but well when i had the remainder of the kids...I was even more obstinant to deliver vaginally becasue i knew the hell i had been through with the "easy way: (my moms words not mine-and no she had never had a csection) i was more than determined to deliver or die trying...i knew that i had no other option becasue i knew what recovery was goign to be and well i knew what complications could occur...and i never say oh that wont happen to me...be casue well I should have been name murphy becasue damn near anything that can go wrong usually does..

if you have any extra questions that i can help with let me know on the other side...in the book the silent knife by nancy cohen...there were a million of references and groups to contact for help...i would recommend reading it...i have a copy if you contact me...ill mail you mine...granted my copy is 18 years old and doesnt have the never groups in it...i bought my daughter one when she was expecting...and there are new groups in the back

red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

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