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inyouagain -> RE: Is he serious about the relationship? (5/11/2004 8:17:07 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sail_alone
... for all this 9 months we have met less than 20 times even we stay in the same city.
Have you been collared by this Master? At two meets per month, and no other contact except for Yahoo IM does not sound like a full time relationship. Typically a Master who collars you would have all your contact info, not just your YIM nick. In many cases your Master upon collaring you will require your online accounts/profiles passwords, along with your YIM password. Typically as his owned property, everything you own or use would also be his, or under his absolute control.
You sound as if you've met a part-time enthusiast. Is he married, or does he have other subs/slaves living with him 24/7? Are you married? If he is indeed your Master, your training would be up to him and his desires, but not training you whatsoever in 9 months is very odd. If there was no type of training during your 20 meets in 9 months, what did you do together?
Only you can decide what type of BDSM relationship is the right type for you, so if what appears to be a part-timer is not to your liking, it is up to you to request a change from your Master, and if none is forthcoming, his release to find a more suitable Dominant for your needs. If your definition of a slave is one or two times a month, and little to no other contact... that sounds more like a fling your Master is having with you, than servitude on your part.
Bear in mind that online relationships inherently have a high failure rate, as it's too easy to play games and hide behind lies, etc. If your relationship began online, and except for the 20 meets is still conducted online... and you both live in the same city, that's not good at all, and it's your decision to put up with it.
In most highly sexual BDSM relationships, one could equate to at least one perverted sexual encounter per day... 9 months times 30 days average equals 270 days. Using your totals, 270 days minus 20 meets leaves a sexual encounter deficit of 250... or your Master spends 12.5 times as much time away from you as he does sexually with you (provided you were sexual in all 20 meets?). This is unacceptable in my book, but I am the demanding type of Dominant. Are you sure your Master isn't in reality a Switch, or maybe just an occasional Top?
In addition, you stated he claims he owns you. What is the basis of his claim? Is there a contract? If so his intended use and type of control should be outlined in the contract. If it was verbal, it should have been discussed between you to determine your limits, etc. Either way, these are not legally binding... simply agreements. The number of newer lifestylers who met and stayed with the right partner from the very beginning is very small indeed, so the odds and averages point to having to go through more than one partner to find "the right one" for your needs and desires.
Best wishes
Inyouagain
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