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True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 8:31:35 AM

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From: Colorado
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Just out of curiousity... how many of you lovely mistresses out there would classify yourselves as sadists, as opposed to simply being dominant? It's not a loaded question, in fact, I myself prefer a more sadistic variety. Conversely, I know there are some people who just like to be dominated. I know there's a mix of both in most tops, but I'm more interested in people for whom the infliction of pain is the most interesting.

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"Give me chastity and give me constancy, but do not give it yet..." -- St. Augustine

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 9:05:05 AM

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I'm far more of a sadist than a dominant. It's unfortunate that way too many people, even the ones that claim they are very knowledgeable with bdsm, seem to equate sadist with sociopath. While you can be both, one does not necessarily imply the other.

Eh, I shouldn't complain. The people who get all wide-eyed and start thinking they need to lecture me on SSC pretty much weed themselves out as folks who aren't going to be compatible with me.

(in reply to WolfOnALeash)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 9:06:16 AM

stef

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Thankfully, the two categories are not mutually exclusive.

~stef

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Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 9:06:27 AM

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Im somewhat sadistic, but don't consider myself "a dominant" at this point. In my sadism it still tends towards the "service top" route in that I use the pain to take them to where they want/need to be, rather than for just my own selfish rocks.

(in reply to WolfOnALeash)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 9:17:10 AM

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I consider myself a maternal, slightly sadistic Domme. The sadism is there as an extra, not the main dish. I truly enjoy it when I give it, but due to my showing sadistic tendancies at a young age and having it "explained" to me why we do not hurt those weaker than ourselves, I need a very willing partner. I suspect that if my sadism hadn't been caught and checked, I'd be a full blown sadist with a little of the dominant mixed in.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to WolfOnALeash)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 9:54:02 AM

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Total sadist. Also love to control men, and keep them as boys or toys, whichever category suits them.
Not a psychopath.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 10:51:44 AM

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I'm a sadist. I'm also a masochist. And I'm naturally/socially Dominant.

Using dominance in sexuality supports my primary sadistic desires. I use the leadership qualities of a dominant and exercise bondage, discipline and control for the purpose of truly exploring my sensually sadistic self.

I see myself as one that helps people discover the wonderful fine line between pleasure and pain. In return, I get off on that. That is a power exchange to me where someone surrenders and I take control.

The two terms do not have to be mutually exclusive and in my case co-exist. They can however be.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 11:45:20 AM

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From: long island, ny
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

I consider myself a maternal, slightly sadistic Domme. The sadism is there as an extra, not the main dish. I truly enjoy it when I give it, but due to my showing sadistic tendancies at a young age and having it "explained" to me why we do not hurt those weaker than ourselves, I need a very willing partner. I suspect that if my sadism hadn't been caught and checked, I'd be a full blown sadist with a little of the dominant mixed in.

How great for You that You found such a partner!

sting

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 1:04:37 PM

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Actually, my sub is not a maso. He's learning a bit of appreciation for pain via conditioning. I am not attempting to teach him such, but since pain turns me on, he likes to try taking it for me. Turning me on turns him on, so the pain ends up turning him on. It is a funny route to take, but it is working for both of us.

And yes, I think I have found my "other half." *silly happy grin*

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to sting516)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/27/2005 2:07:36 PM

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From: SoCal aka Hell
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I consider myself a Sadist... a Dominant... a Mothering figure... a Friend... a rampant Cuddle Fiend...

Why limit myself to one category when I enjoy them all?

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Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/28/2005 12:47:41 AM

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I have no idea really. I can tell you that flogging, caning, CBT, etc. bring a smile to My face while I am doing them. They increase My arousal level and calm any jangled nerves. I feel like I am glowing after a session. However I only feel this way when the submissive enjoys pain. I like to find and ride the edge between pain and pleasure where both sensations flow together and become one. This tends to create the responses that I seek from the submissive. If the submissive is merely accepting the level of pain because I want to give it then I do not enjoy giving it.

Gentle Lady

< Message edited by GentleLady -- 2/28/2005 12:51:36 AM >

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RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/28/2005 7:25:20 AM

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G'morning all:

*perkies!* Ahh, my true calling. Sadism. The enjoyment of cruelty. This can take many forms. I will not enumerate them. I will however explain my own basic pleasures from it.

A) Sexual - There is nothing hotter than watching a man writhe & wriggle under my lash. Looking him deep in the eyes & seeing the surrender absorb every fiber of his being. Knowing he's doing this for my satisfaction more than his own is sweeter than any candy. The power, the energy released during these situations is like a live current directly connected to my, ahem, crotch, lol.

B) Humor - What did I just type? You read it correctly. Humor. I tease & taunt mercilessly during a good scene. You can never take yourself too seriously. If you're not having fun while you're doing your dirty deeds, why bother? I will nudge, cajole, bedevil, razz a subbie to fits. Making them sob, plead then in turn tickle them to tears. I end up laughing myself silly thereby easing their suffering & enfolding them in the grand joke, as it were. Sometimes just the facial expressions they make are enough to send me into gales of giggles. I often get many compliments from complete strangers @ clubs because they've watched me work someone over. It may be that night, weeks or even months later. They remember because of the methods I employed.

Dominant; the other title. I classify myself as a natural dominant. Many use bdsm as a release valve for their vanilla side. Not I. It is an extension of how I am. Aggressive, assertive, outgoing, confident, sanguine even. Conversely, I'm well mannered, polite & courteous. These traits are often mistaken for weakness. How little do people know. They do find out the error of their thinking very rapidly though.

Funny, strength in a woman often earns her scorn & will get her labeled a bitch. In men, it's valued & admired. Weird. But then, I'd rather be a bitch than a lamb, lol.

There are other definitions which can be attributed to me: responsible, smart, sarcastic, cuddly, romantic, ad infinitum/nauseum. None of which severally are the sum of my being. Just another aspect of my complexity.

Stay safe all, play nice, & share your toys w/ others......

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to WolfOnALeash)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/28/2005 8:54:01 AM

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Joined: 2/26/2005
From: Colorado
Status: offline

I must say, yours is the most thoroughly fascinating reply I've received to my query. In all the years I've been interested/active in the scene, I haven't heard anyone bring humour into the mix. What an overwhelming experience for the sub... going from tears of pain to tears of laughter all in the same scene. Kudos to you for bringing a slightly different angle to your lucky subjects of torment.

P.S. For devout masochists such as myself, it amplifies the pleasure received from pain tenfold, when we know the person inflicting it is truly enjoying herself. And it works the opposite as well - having someone gingerly flog me, or even worse, do it hard, but cringe everytime I yelp or moan... total turn-off.

_____________________________

"Give me chastity and give me constancy, but do not give it yet..." -- St. Augustine

(in reply to GddssBella)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/28/2005 10:24:26 AM

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I love a mixture of both in Dommes but love sadists.
I’m not overly into the pain as much i drawn to the psychological nature of sadist. I like to be the focus of her desire to hurt.
Some times I do better with a woman that is a mixture of both Domiant and sadist in equal parts.
I have had one bad relationship with a sadist that was not stable emotionally in fact was with out empathy what so ever.
Things got chaotic in our lives because of some of her choices.
So while I still lean toward sadists I want one that is in control of her life.

Remember back in high school where some beautiful girl would fall for some creepy thug?
I am sort of like that girl. (Though I am not beautiful lol)

the sadistic Woman I was with was attractive and smart but she had this need to do whatever she wanted whatever it was legal or not.
I guess what I am saying I love sadists but I have to becarefuel and get to know her real well. At least well enough to know my life won’t be chaotic
mantis

(in reply to WolfOnALeash)

RE: True Sadists vs. Dominants... - 2/28/2005 12:55:28 PM

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Joined: 4/13/2004
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Lady T. here - Atlanta's SADISTIC Southern Belle!!!

Ummm, I even love the word....

Sadism: the tendency to derive sexual gratification or general pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering or humiliation.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I am a natural Dominant and a Sadist - an equal mix of both I feel, as each is just as strong a factor in My personality!! I get wet when inflicting pain - a true sexual sadist! *wicked grins* I'm turned on, sexually aroused and all that jazz when I am inflicting physical pain on another. But, I have the self-control and can relegate My sadism to the background if necessary, in such cases when I am not playing with a masochist or one that has a high pain tolerance. Nor does sadism have to be present for Me to enjoy sex, I can enjoy many avenues of vanilla sex, or even BDSM and fetish play without bringing My sadism into the scene, but I cannot relegate My dominance to the background, so I guess My Dominant nature is at the forefront of My personality with sadism being the rock upon which the foundation is built.

Another thought...... is so-and-so or such-and-such really sadistic or masochistic..... an example..... I've experienced play with some who label themselves masochists and who do have very high levels for pain, but do not get sexually aroused or feel general pleasure from the inflicted pain. I've sessioned with many "tough-guy subs" for who it seems to be more about "look how much I can take", and those are enjoyable for Me, but at type does not get Me as hot as a true masochist. Hearing a moan of pleasure right when the single-tail strikes, seeing a cock or a nipple harden as I lash out is what does it for Me. And, I've seen some Tops who proclaim to be Sadist, but in observations, I feel domineering or simply cruel might be better definitions. Also, edgy play like a kidnap scene or forced feminization can bring out the Sadist in Me, and while the bottom is consensual and enjoys the play, there is more "resistance" in that I must force them to take My sadism. Some Sadists doe not thrive on the pleasure experienced by masochists when they are tormenting and torturing, for some a "forced" scene or more of a "resistance play" type of scene is what ignites their sadism. Also for others it might be a different headspace than sexual arousal in that their sadomasochism could be cathargic or simply pleasurable and very enjoyable but not create sexual energy.

Also, I find the variations on sadism and masochism very interesting fields to explore. I've a sub who is not only a physical masochist but also a mental and/or emotional masochist as he gets sexually aroused by verbal humiliation and extreme mind-fucks! Many out there I consider "mental masochists" as they can take a scathing volume of verbal humiliation and be sexually aroused, but cannot take high levels of physical pain nor find it enjoyable. While I enjoy this type of mental cruelty with an established partner who I know can handle such psychological roller-coasters, it's the physical torture that really is the foundation of My sadism.

Great post and comments!!!

Truly,

Lady T.

_____________________________

Truly, Lady T.

Lady Tatiana Tantalize
Atlanta's Sadistic Southern Belle, Crossdressing Consultant, Punk-Rock Party Girl and Wicked SugarPuss
http://www.ladytantalize.net

"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
-Tennessee William

(in reply to WolfOnALeash)

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