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RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 4:02:24 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		You certainly aren't alone when it comes to crying.  my Master loves to see His slave crying, not from sadness, but from pain or laughter, when He is the one who has caused it.  And, He knows the difference in my tears.  He gets concerned when He sees me crying and He knows it isn't because He is beating or tickling me.  Then, He tries to find out what's wrong and makes me talk to Him about it.  If i am crying from what He is doing to me, that's fine.  i cry and/or cry out every time Master beats me.  If i don't, He beats me more.  i cry because it hurts.  And, oh, i do love it so.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David


(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 4:05:57 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
maybe my own wants are so confuseing that could have added to the tears!! I dont know Im just an odd person

Magik's odd lil slave

Well if you want threads on enduring pain due to submission and proving yourself, we've got lots of those too.  It's very common in fact.


Really?? I honstely didnt know that. To tell the trueth I thought most people who wanted pain and liked it had a high tolerance and need for it I didnt realise others had my same problem.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 4:15:27 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		i am a masochist.  i need to feel pain.  my body responds to the pain and i get pleasure from that response.  i also get a great deal of sexual excitement at feeling helpless, vulnerable and at my Master's mercy.  i also get a lot of satisfaction from seeing my Master's delight in my pain.  If it didn't HURT, it would not satisfy any of those needs.  i have very little tolerance for pain and my Master makes certain that i stay that way by not putting me into pain on a regular basis.  If He did, then i would likely build up a tolerance and He doesn't want that.  He enjoys His slave being very sensitive to pain.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

[/quote]

To tell the trueth I thought most people who wanted pain and liked it had a high tolerance and need for it I didnt realise others had my same problem.

Magik's slave
[/quote]

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 4:17:54 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		At the minor risk of sounding undommly (like I care?) let me say that it is only when I am very secure an confident in my ownership that I will cry in front of my own slaves. So the idea that comfort = ability to cry is logical and reasonable and in my experience it also crosses the role line.

Fox tells me that the first time I cried in front of him, that was probably a good year plus it was a bit scary for him but it was also a profound statement to him about how much I trusted him. Similar thing with my being "cute" around him. I'm not cute around too many people, fewer than I'll cry around, and when he was trusted enough to see the "cute me" he took that for what it was: a statement of how comfortable with and trusty of him I was.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 4:44:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
Really?? I honstely didnt know that. To tell the trueth I thought most people who wanted pain and liked it had a high tolerance and need for it I didnt realise others had my same problem.

Magik's slave

It's only a problem because it's new and confusing and you haven't processed it out yet- you have a pattern of making posts when you're in an emotional state right after you've come up against Something Big.  A few days later you've been able to process it and work through it and things come much more into perspective.

You'll continue to get great perspectives here, and there are tons of threads on masochists and pain interplays to look through also. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 4:52:57 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you very much LA

this time I did wait a few days and see if I could prosses this on my own and when I couldnt I desided to post.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 5:56:37 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Majiksslave, i am generally NOT a cryer.  Let some one whip me, beat me, cane me and i doubt i will cry.  Infact i've never had a single tail used on me and did in a scene with another Dom.  No tears.  I've had all sorts of painful things happen that produced no tears.  Try having a 240 lb man running at full speed and slam a door shut on your wrist.  No tears.  (tho i think i swore and hopped up and down) 

Its a bond i have with Master where i feel comfortable, safe, secure enough to be able to cry.   Maybe you are reaching that place?

I also cry with him as in a way for him to break down my walls.  It opens me up more to him, makes me more vulnerable and lets him in farther.  Maybe a wall came down?

Maybe you've been stressed and it was an easy way to let out all that stress?  (i've done that too)

Or maybe something has been bothering you - that you've been hurt about and it was an "ok" place to let out that hurt and get the comfort you needed?   Sometimes we feel bad for being upset about certian things so during a scene its possible to let out that hurt in a way that has no correlation.  (i've done this too)

Only you can really figure out why you cried.  So far as i'm told, its a good thing to cry.




_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 8:08:32 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I cried for the first time during a scene. This perplexed and worried my Master a little and while holding me and reaching for a tissue he asked me if he had been much more savear then ever befor or if there was another reason I was crying he asked if maybe now I just felt more comfertable crying. I couldnt answer him. Yes the it had hurt but I dont think it was any more savear then any other scene. Just different as all of our scenes are. Was I crying beause of the pain a little I guess was I more comfertable crying with him... I dont know I mean I have cried many times he has held me many times as I have cried but that was all tears from me beeing emotional distressed and needing him and he was there. But those are different kind of tears I guess. is it maybe more intamet to cry from a scene and im first beeing able to let go and experiance the entire scene includeing the tears. I dont know Im not sure. So I was wondering if maybe some of the more experianced people here could help me gain some insite into this I cant be alone with these things can I??

Magik's slave


No, you're not alone. You had a cathartic experience. It happens and can be weird, but it's not unusual. I cry...during scenes (Top and bottom) and during sex...and at kittens.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 8:13:26 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		In general, I don't cry much, and I go for years in between crying spells.  But, when I was scening regularly, I would often cry.  I haven't done anything at that level of intensity in a couple of years, and I haven't cried in a couple years either. 

I always thought of it as a good thing. :)

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 1/14/2007 8:14:00 PM >

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/14/2007 8:50:55 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		The first time I cried during a scene I was mortified,  even worse I couldn't stop the tears they just kept coming. Even harder is he had me look into his eyes, he wouldn't let me hide. I'm a pain slut and even tho we were playing hard. ( I made the foolish mistake of challenging him to a fencing duel....oooh silly silly me.So he was beating the daylights out of me at a play party with my own epee) It wasn't the pain it was the realease of all the emotions I kept pent up inside of me. I felt free after the play, like a heavy wet coat had slipped from my shoulders.  I still have a hard time crying even tho I know it's a heathy, the play gives me a cathartic release and a venue to do it where I feel safe.   I think I have coped more with greif through play than simply trying to muddle through it on my own. There is the freedom there to cry and weeep with abandon to let those toxic feelings out without feeling weak or guilty.


denika


< Message edited by denika -- 1/14/2007 8:52:03 PM >

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/15/2007 2:45:04 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		MagiksSlave ... i am with the others in saying that it is OK to cry! i haven't done it often, but the first time i did, Master was very surprised and concerned. After all, He had finally got used to my going through the giggles on the way into subspace (that really threw Him the first time!) ... so to have giggles go to silence was usual but then the tears came as a total surprise! But when i was finally able to speak and explain it was a cathartic cry, something i really needed to do though i had no idea why ... and that i was intensely grateful that He hadn't stopped a few mins before but actually took me there ... He felt much relieved. And yes, i think feeling really safe with Him helped.

Most important to me was that your Master was concerned ... that's just the reaction of a good Dominant to an unexpected reaction from His sub! i would have been much more worried if He wasn't concerned for you. you may just need to accept that you won't work out the exact reason, it might have been releasing something at the subconscious level ... whatever it was, now He knows you are OK it shouldn't have upset Him. Good luck!

violet[A] aka Maam Jay

PS As a Domme I have had subby boys cry and I have always taken it as a moment of great trust and intimacy and almost a privilege to share their tears once I have made sure they are OK!

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/15/2007 10:36:37 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam


No, you're not alone. You had a cathartic experience. It happens and can be weird, but it's not unusual. I cry...during scenes (Top and bottom) and during sex...and at kittens.

Master Fire



((smiles)) hehe thanks a lot Ma'am

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: is it alright to cry? - 1/15/2007 10:40:52 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies from everyone.. they really help me see things in different ways which in turn help me analize a situation and that isnt something I could do without everyones input!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/21/2007 8:33:36 PM   
KittyKat24


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline 		A very good question .  In my opinion it is alright to cry for whatever reason you need to .  In my case , its a release, almost like an orgasm of sorts .  when I'm in a scene or having sex .  and I feel totally owned , loved, and under my Master's control I do tend to let the tears flow .  Depending on how long it has been since it happened the last time I will beg him to continue until I reach that point of no return .  And then he stops and cuddles me until I am ok again .

~Kitty~


(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/21/2007 8:43:10 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittyKat24

A very good question .  In my opinion it is alright to cry for whatever reason you need to .  In my case , its a release, almost like an orgasm of sorts .  when I'm in a scene or having sex .  and I feel totally owned , loved, and under my Master's control I do tend to let the tears flow .  Depending on how long it has been since it happened the last time I will beg him to continue until I reach that point of no return .  And then he stops and cuddles me until I am ok again .

~Kitty~




I am not sure I can adequately describe the sense of love and caring and compassion I feel when I am holding waht is mine in my arms as she cries.  Feeling the tears fade to heavy breathing and eventually sleep.

Knowing deep inside that she knows it will be taken care of and I have her back.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to KittyKat24)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/21/2007 8:43:22 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I sure as heck hope it is. I am not one to hold back in this area.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/21/2007 9:09:01 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		If you are as much of a sub to take what would bring tears from you, as a woman, then I think it is only fair for your dom/top (male or female) to accept those tears and be happy he/she HAS someone willing to go that far rather than some woos whom only likes the "dressy ups" of it all and shouts out a safe word at the drop of a hat.

Mgaik, GOOD FOR YOU for being as real as to "go so far" as to cause tears.

I hereby pass you the cyber twinkie in appreciation.

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/21/2007 9:10:21 PM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		Often during a scene with my Master, I lose myself completely. I have been known to laugh, cry, even swear at him. Most the time i don't even remeber saying half the things I said. That is if i can even talk. One thing that will usually get me crying is knife play. I don't know why, or what it triggers, but usually i end up crying. Afterwards I feel refreshed. There is nothing like a good cry to wash ones soul.

Oh if forgot to add, He enjoys my tears as well when they are tears in a scene. Often he will lick them away. Now that is yummy.

< Message edited by amuzingtoyou -- 2/21/2007 9:11:36 PM >

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/21/2007 9:22:56 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I, like some of the other posters, have only cried once during a scene. And I mean cried. Not just a single tear, but a torrent of emotion that had my Daddy releasing me from where I was bound. A nanosecond later He was back with a glass of water and His shoulder. We fell asleep on the floor that night, and it was the beginning of a new chapter in our relationship.
 
I don't know what the deal was, but some floodgate inside of me just opened up and let everything go. It was a healing moment for me and a bonding moment for us.
 
So, um, crying it's OK in my book.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: is it alright to cry? - 2/22/2007 4:18:33 AM   
andreaC


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline 		I will cry, but after i always feel like a weak person if i do it in front of Master.......its not always easy to hide some emotions or during a session.



_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 40
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