RE: The Rose Colored Week

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The Rose Colored Week

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: The Rose Colored Week

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 5:56:59 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Can I just say I find it quite amusing that this thread started the same day as my own period?

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 6:09:01 AM

songbird26

Posts: 72
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline

Cramps? Megadoses of advil, heating pads, or hot showers, and holding back on caffeine intake, always seem to work for me. And since ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory, it's much more effective on muscle cramps than aspirin or tylenol. I can't imagine having sex during cramps, and haven't even tried...the idea is very ow! Fortunately, my cramps only last one day. As my fitness level goes up, also, my period is shorter (it's 2-3 days, now), and the cramps are less persistent.

As for the PMS...I'm stunned that people here have such severe effects. Though I think we've all had the mood swings and the crankies, unless you've got PMDD (and only about 5% of all women do) they certainly shouldn't be uncontrollable. Maybe it's my inner feminist coming howling out, but I hesitate to blame PMS for much, and I certainly wouldn't use it as an excuse for being irrational or performing below par. It's one of the reasons that some men cite when asked if a woman could ever be president, y'know...they claim that those pesky 'female hormones' make us insane for part of every month, and therefore we can't be trusted in positions of great responsibility. *grin* I like to keep as much ammunition as possible out of the hands of people like that.

< Message edited by songbird26 -- 3/1/2005 6:10:27 AM >

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 7:08:04 AM

kyakitten

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: songbird26

Maybe it's my inner feminist coming howling out, but I hesitate to blame PMS for much, and I certainly wouldn't use it as an excuse for being irrational or performing below par. It's one of the reasons that some men cite when asked if a woman could ever be president, y'know...they claim that those pesky 'female hormones' make us insane for part of every month, and therefore we can't be trusted in positions of great responsibility. *grin* I like to keep as much ammunition as possible out of the hands of people like that.

Songbird, I used to think exactly the same way - when I had the luxury to. In the last three or four years I've been forced to realize that on a certain day of the month, about two days before my period starts, whatever mood I'm in gets heightened way beyond anything merited by external stimuli. So if I'm sad, I'm inconsolable; if I'm happy, I'm in bliss; if I'm angry, I'm enraged, etc. If I'm horny - lucky master, lucky me!

Does this affect my work? No, not if I exercise the self-control to acknowledge and control my emotion-driven responses. PMS doesn't invalidate women's ability to be President any more than a heart condition, or asthma, or fatal nut allergies (or apparently even terminal stupidity, lol). You learn what the symptoms and triggers are and how to avoid or minimize them. Like you said, exercise helps a lot, as does just knowing that I'm likely to over-react and being on guard against outsized emotional reactions that day.

So while it is convenient to respond to boors by dismissing PMS as a sexist myth, the better response I think is to say "Emotions don't lead to bad decisions; emotions plus lack of discipline do. Any woman qualified to run for president, head a company, etc. will have the track record to demonstrate her professional capacity to overcome personal challenges, whether or not her personal challenges include PMS. "

*********

For the record, I think the quote somebody posted about vaginismus as the direct result of mental conflict IS a sexist myth. As I understand it, it's a physiological condition, essentially a muscle contraction. Nobody blames a charley horse on mental issues! (For a somewhat better comparison perhaps, look up "dystonia".) While in some cases it may be trauma induced, remember, a few decades ago women were being told that cramps were all in their heads too.

(in reply to songbird26)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 7:40:22 AM

songbird26

Posts: 72
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyakitten

So while it is convenient to respond to boors by dismissing PMS as a sexist myth, the better response I think is to say "Emotions don't lead to bad decisions; emotions plus lack of discipline do. Any woman qualified to run for president, head a company, etc. will have the track record to demonstrate her professional capacity to overcome personal challenges, whether or not her personal challenges include PMS. "

Very well said, kyakitten! I agree 100% that PMS isn't a myth...as I said above, I've had the crankies and the mood swings as well. But they ARE manageable with some discipline, and that's the point I was trying to make (you just made it much better. *grin*). However, I also think that giving more ammo to the 'boors' is a little counterproductive...and that's why I cringe when I see ladies (in real life) dismissing irrational or even mildly abusive behavior etc. as "just PMS."

< Message edited by songbird26 -- 3/1/2005 7:41:38 AM >

(in reply to kyakitten)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 8:39:07 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

As for the PMS...I'm stunned that people here have such severe effects. Though I think we've all had the mood swings and the crankies, unless you've got PMDD (and only about 5% of all women do) they certainly shouldn't be uncontrollable.

this slave has maybe 2 or 3 days out of a month, if lucky, that she does NOT feel the side effects even after a partial hysterectomy 12 years ago at the age of 26 to eliminate the impending cervical cancer that would take this slave's life, as well as the monthly 8 day excrutiating bloodbath. is it PMDD? No, something more insidious, the pharmaceutical industry's claim of better living through chemistry.

"DES (diethylstilbestrol) was prescribed for pregnant women during the 1950s and 1960s after Harvard researchers erroneously concluded, without proper testing, that it helped prevent miscarriages. The drug was not patented, and three hundred companies began production without first conducting any long-term studies. In 1954 the first controlled study of DES efficacy revealed that the drug did not work...

The drug manufacturers who jumped on the DES bandwagon either never made the computations or didn't care, but the recommended dosage of DES given to pregnant women, was the equivalent of the estrogenic effect of 55,666 birth control pills."

http://www.aaronlevinelaw.com/des.htm

the 55,666 birth control pills were given during the 12 week period that the female reproductive system is forming in the womb. It caused structural abnormalities of the reproductive system, malfunctioning of the "normal" hormone system and in some cases, eventually led to a particular cancer of the cervix called clear cell adenocarcinoma, which began surfacing when these babies turned 16,17 years old. millions of babies had and still have no idea that they were part of a disasterous experiment, and neither did their mothers because they trusted their doctors and did whatever they said.

there is no "cure". all that can be done is to manage the symptoms, which is akin to being pregnant constantly, mood swings, nausea, lethargy, body ache, anxiety, bouts of crying, breast swelling and tenderness, migraines, vivid dreams, but no baby.
there is a website for survivors: http://www.desaction.org/
there are also attorneys who specialize in recovering money (80 million $ to date)for victims and their families from the drug companies.

quote:

Also, I’d wish I could offer some words of encouragement to beth.

thanks, LA, it's been a long road, but thankfully, there are natural remedies that lighten the load!

(in reply to songbird26)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 10:03:28 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Well first, congrats Dahlia on finding someone with some potential :-) Hopefully it will work out for you.

And second, you aren't the only one who finds tampons to be torturous ... I hate using them, and only do if there is some extenuating circumstance that I have to (which happens about once a year or once every other year). I have never liked them, possibly because it turns out that I'm incredibly shallow (this does on occation cause problems for me with sex ... but since I'm in charge, and I know how to keep the boys from hurting me, it isn't an issue very often lol) and to get it past the ring of muscle that is supposed to hold it in there, I have to force it against my cervix .... which is apparently more tender than the average female.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 10:18:18 AM

kyakitten

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: songbird26

I agree 100% that PMS isn't a myth...as I said above, I've had the crankies and the mood swings as well. But they ARE manageable with some discipline, and that's the point I was trying to make (you just made it much better. *grin*).

Yeah, you did say that, didn't you! Sorry, will try to work on my reading comprehension. Must be PMS. ;)

(in reply to songbird26)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 10:20:48 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

-beams- Many thanks. I'm hoping for the best as well.

People (mainly the female types) have always looked at me a bit strangely when I tell them that I don't use tampons. Just about "everyone" is doing it! I'm sorry to hear that you have trouble with them as well.

Yikes! The cervix is pretty tender for most women I think. Cervical cancer numbers for prostitutes are quite high because they're constantly having their cervix abused without enough time to recover. Their cervix goes into cell production overdrive leaving them without a cervix if they let it go too long. My friend's doctor said that frequent hard sex chews up the cervix (she'd been especially er... exuberant before visiting her doctor for a regular pap, etc.) - hehe... my friend is just a bit more gentle in her self loving these days.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 10:26:09 AM

quietkitten

Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

Good Morning MadameDahlia

I have done some more online research and have found some interesting things you might want to read. I have printed some off and will be showing them to the Physician I was talking about.

Once he lets me know what he thinks I would be happy to share.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 10:36:00 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

-Yikes! The cervix is pretty tender for most women I think. Cervical cancer numbers for prostitutes are quite high because they're constantly having their cervix abused without enough time to recover. Their cervix goes into cell production overdrive leaving them without a cervix if they let it go too long. My friend's doctor said that frequent hard sex chews up the cervix (she'd been especially er... exuberant before visiting her doctor for a regular pap, etc.) - hehe... my friend is just a bit more gentle in her self loving these days.

I know all about cervical cancer, between being an RN and having a family history of it *eep!* ...

But still, most women that I talk to don't seem to have nearly the trouble with it that I do - I mean, a boy bottoms out and sex has to stop ... right then ... no questions asked. and it doesn't matter if the guy is 6 inches or so and barely caught it, or 8+ inches and reaming it up there for all he's worth (which happened once and only once ... and he was quite sorry when I was done with him

) - all sex stops, at least until I've stopped crying and am out of the fetal position, and usually entirely.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 3/1/2005 10:37:01 AM >

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 10:37:05 AM

lacyann

Posts: 45
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline

with time, they actually go away on their own...
of course then we have hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings and other various problems,
but nothing that a little prempro won't help

lol... lacyann

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 11:28:48 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietkitten

Good Morning MadameDahlia

I have done some more online research and have found some interesting things you might want to read. I have printed some off and will be showing them to the Physician I was talking about.

Once he lets me know what he thinks I would be happy to share.

Again... you have my deepest thanks.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to quietkitten)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 11:58:43 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Reason # 478 that I had a hysterectomy at age 32. I don't have to deal with that anymore, THANK HEAVEN!. Best thing I ever did.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to siamsa24)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/1/2005 4:37:42 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden
Reason # 478 that I had a hysterectomy at age 32. I don't have to deal with that anymore, THANK HEAVEN!. Best thing I ever did.
Ms. Eden

Damn Eden! That's hard core woman! :)

I love my uterus and no one is taking it away from me! I actually don't mind that I bleed once a month. It hurts a little but I can handle that. I feel that afterwards I feel so much better. In anycase, it's all part of being a woman.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 3/1/2005 4:38:46 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/2/2005 3:46:43 PM

quietkitten

Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

Dear MadameDahlia,

I cornered my friend today and asked him to give me his honest opinion.

The first thing he told me is that he doesn't beleive in psycho-sexual therapy unless the woman is absolutely certain that her problems are related to a previous trauma. He says that it can be degrading and very emotionally painful. He considers it a last resort.

He also asked whether or not you had actually had a complete physical exam that looked at all aspects. He gave me some very specific examples of things that should be checked. I will not list them because some people might get squeamish. I have my e-mail address in my profile, and if you want me to, I will forward them to you. He suggested that the idea of vaginismus might not be the problem at all, and in fact gave me a whole laundry list of things that can cause similar symptoms.

He looked at the information I had and was actually positive about a few things, but said that until you have an actual verified diagnosis, that it is just not a good idea to start trying out treatments. I tend to agree with that idea.

The bottom line from him, was that you need to find an Ob/Gyn who has an interest in sexual dysfunctions and is willing to listen to you and take you seriously. Then you need a complete check up and only then should a treatment plan be started.

He told me that you should be able to go onto the AMA website to find doctors in your area with the qualifications you need.

I hope this helps, and please feel free to e-mail me if you would like the other information.

respectfully,
jenny

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: The Rose Colored Week - 3/2/2005 8:37:55 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

From what I've read of psychosexual therapy it did sound a bit abhorrent. Glad to know it wasn't just me being nuts. I'll drop you a line off the boards and check in with you regarding your findings.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to quietkitten)

Profile

Post #: 56