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Time? - 1/18/2007 7:41:40 PM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
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What's the average time Masters/ Dom/ me's put into developing and creating D/s with your new sub's?

What should be expected? Mostly i'm finding a severe lack of time on their part.

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RE: Time? - 1/18/2007 8:01:26 PM

aSlavesLife

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I have no idea how much one should expect to invest. I put in an average of 4 hours hands on per day and another 12 hours supervising and casually directing. Not everyone can spend that much time, and not everyone would want to. What works for some doesn't work for others, else we would all drink the same brand of soda.

(in reply to acctonthelook)

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RE: Time? - 1/18/2007 8:16:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
What's the average time Masters/ Dom/ me's put into developing and creating D/s with your new sub's?

Um a lifetime? If you want a lifelong relationship, the development and creation never ends.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Time? - 1/18/2007 9:01:30 PM

SimplyMichael

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Yea, what she said. I would say it much more eloquently but I can't be bothered.

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 2:00:14 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
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Whatever it takes! It's not like I'm filling in time between doing more important things - because there's no such thing....

Focus.

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 4:40:59 AM

onestandingstill

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If you're feeling a new man in your life has no time for you in the beginning I'd say maybe you and he are mismatched.
If he does not meet your needs what are his reasons to not be around you?
What are your reasons for persuing this relationship?
I'd wonder if he's taking things slow, or spreading the wealth with lots of others myself.

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 6:31:16 AM

swtnsparkling

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As much time as they are seeking/want or willing to give
If they wanted to give you more time they would. if it isnt enough for you/
you need to move along.

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 8:38:04 AM

sleazy

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I would take an hour off each Feb 29th, otherwise its constant teaching, learning and growth for both/all participants in my eyes

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 9:28:50 AM

toservez

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Just like any other relationship in this world. Two people must be compatible and a big part is how much time they need to be together. Some need as much as possible while other can act like they are barely together but both have to want the level they have.

Also just like any other relationship there is no finish line for work done in the relationship. It is a life long journey with effort with every step from both parties.

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 10:16:25 AM

akisha

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I'm with LA on this one. If you are making a life commitment that that should be the time you spend on it.

Not saying they have to direct your every move and thought every second of every day but their influence should be there in everything you do.

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 11:18:55 AM

SirDominic

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Your question really has nothing to do with how much D/s time is acceptable. It is about the fact that YOU are not getting the time you need. Instead of posting here, you should talk to your partner and explain that your needs are not being met.

If they are not willing to listen, or give you the "I'm the Dominant and will give you what I want" crap, then you have a choice to make. Learn to live with what you are getting or dump him and continue your quest for the one that will have yearnings that are similar to yours.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

(in reply to acctonthelook)

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 3:18:03 PM

acctonthelook

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i'm asking the question to determine if it's me whose just needy or is it purely normal to expect a new Master/ Dom to take quality time with his sub? sorry to have confused some ppl.

i am noticing that many Master/ Dom's don't take the quality time in personal meetings as my mentor took with me years before. so having this happen is making me wonder if i'm just being needy. i think getting together at least twice a week in the beginning is very important to build a bond, but maybe i'm just the type who finds email and phone not something i enjoy. i enjoy the in person contact and conversation much better than email or the phone calls for me it's a beginning of a 'relationship'. i guess not many people are relationship oriented. maybe it's just me. that's why i posted. i'm confused as hell. + when you've had someone as your first take so much time and care it's hard to settle for mediocre (sp?)

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 5:14:53 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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My response is what's wrong with being needy?

The issue is are you being unreasonably needy? I can't answer that.

But I know you should never settle, you should embrace whatever needs you have and not let anyone tell you that you shouldn't have them. You CAN have everything you need and want- it just might take awhile to get it.

You could line everyone up who complains about how tough it is to find a good match- the poly boards and full of people bitching about how long it takes to find a "serious third."

Quality relationships take quality time. What defines "quality time" is completely dependent upon the individual. If you decide down the line that you only need/want X quality time as opposed to Y quality time, then go for it. Until then, you need/want Y quality time. Your choice is to remain steadfast and wait for the person who agrees that Y quality time is what they need/want, or to settle for someone who won't give you what you need/want.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Time? - 1/19/2007 6:04:15 PM

gandalf0297

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Whatever amount it takes

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RE: Time? - 1/20/2007 12:31:47 AM

RexLongBeach

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The amount of time it takes varies from individual to individual. No surprise there, right?

You want more in-person contact, he doesn't.

The question you seem to be asking (are you being needy) is really moot. If you've expressed your needs, and they've been disregarded, then you know what you need to know.

Good luck,

Rex

(in reply to acctonthelook)

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RE: Time? - 1/20/2007 2:57:24 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

i'm asking the question to determine if it's me whose just needy or is it purely normal to expect a new Master/ Dom to take quality time with his sub? sorry to have confused some ppl.

i am noticing that many Master/ Dom's don't take the quality time in personal meetings as my mentor took with me years before. so having this happen is making me wonder if i'm just being needy. i think getting together at least twice a week in the beginning is very important to build a bond, but maybe i'm just the type who finds email and phone not something i enjoy. i enjoy the in person contact and conversation much better than email or the phone calls for me it's a beginning of a 'relationship'. i guess not many people are relationship oriented. maybe it's just me. that's why i posted. i'm confused as hell. + when you've had someone as your first take so much time and care it's hard to settle for mediocre (sp?)

This sounds more like a case of "welcome to the Net!"

Seems like probably 90% of "doms" are here because the Net allows them the anonymity to escape their dreary (or probably married) lives and pursue whatever fantasies they'd never dare in real life! So they contact preferably naive or inexperienced fem/subs and unleash all that pent up spiel.... Indeed, they probably seek out cyber contacts specifically to avoid r/l contact, as it really is just fantasy to them.

So you have yourself an excellent indicator for when someone is a time-waster; Net geek etc. For those of us who actually need and desire r/l contact, of course we'll put in the "hard yards" to achieve that - with NO timetable constraints. Unfortunately for you, the Net "doms" have a considerable numerical advantage over the "real-lifers" and you need to set your radar accordingly....

Focus.

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RE: Time? - 1/20/2007 5:28:18 PM

Miraculix

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Couldn't agree more with LuckyAlbatross.

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In the meantime, I am simply walking through, leaving nothing but My footsteps in the sands of the beach, hearing as the ocean washes them away behind me...
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RE: Time? - 1/22/2007 7:20:37 PM

Totalmaster4you

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Every Dom{me} is different. Part of the equation is how experienced is the slave/sub. However the answer lies within you the slave/sub. If you don't feel as though you are receiving enough attention talk with your Top and try to work it out. If the Top can not or will not give you the time or attention you need then maybe you are not compatible. But the first step is to talk with them.

(in reply to Miraculix)

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