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RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/15/2004 11:54:42 AM

perverseangelic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Teaching kids about sex at age 6-7? Why? Why do people insist on making kids grow up so fast? Let kids be kids. I begin to talk to my son about sex when he was 14. Before that he was allowed to be a kid. To only have to deal with kid's stuff. I see no reason to be talking to young children about sex. Let them enjoy their childhood.

maybe because kids are sexually interested at six or seven? maybe i'm just a parents nightmare, but by age 7 (first grade) i was fascinated by sex. i was able to be sexually aroused and reach orgasm. yup. really.

i don't believe in forcing sexual information on children who aren't ready for it, but i do think parents need to let their children know that sex is ok.

no, my parents didn't talk about sex with me till i hit puberty (14ish) but by then i had a pretty extensive "underground" knowledge. you'd be amazed at the sex scenes you can find in the public library.

i have a friend who became sexually active at 11. not something i would do, not something i was ready for, but something that -happens-

i'm taking an education class right now, and an interesting observation was made in our text-we expect children to completely shut of the sexual aspects of their beings. because "we" don't like to think of children as having an sexual identity, we expect them NOT to have it.

no, not all children are sexaully interested at such young ages, but some are. i think that sex needs to be addressed in AGE APPROPRIATE ways with children of all ages. (the key being age-approparite, which is, of course, up for everyone to decide)

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/15/2004 8:49:26 PM

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perverse, I don't think policies should be made for exceptions to the rule. Most 7 year olds don't think about sexual feelings. You would have to admit that I hope.
And kids playing and exploring their bodies is not the same as having sexuality forced on them by adults. Does anyone remember Jonbenee Ramsey? That is the kind of thing that I am talking about. Kids made to be sexual at a young age.
As a kid, I don't remember having to worry about sexual predators as they do these days. I am sure it happened, but I don't believe it happened as frequently as it does now. And it is no coincidence. The more children are sexualized, the more there will be perverts taking advantage of it. Let children be children for as long as possible. They will have plenty of time to face the crap we adults make and face each day.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/15/2004 9:03:28 PM

perverseangelic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

perverse, I don't think policies should be made for exceptions to the rule. Most 7 year olds don't think about sexual feelings.

i'm going to disagree with this untill someone can find me statistics to proove it. my (admitedly small) sample of friends and aquaintences turned up that the VAST majority were sexually aware before they were 10 years old.

so, i think that seven year olds are aware of sexuality, and i don't see anything wrong with that. i -do- have a problem with an adult sexualizing a child-that is, making hte child a sexual object. but that's not the same thing.

still, lets see when i have kids.

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/15/2004 9:25:11 PM

rain

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This is a tough one, on the one hand, i'd like to agree with Estring and say, let kids be kids, however...kids are growing up faster, and younger.

i, myself was molested at age 8, (by a teenage boy), was date raped at age 17, have been followed, threatened, and verbally & sexually abused all by age 19. We did have sex ed, starting in the sixth grade (age 11 or 12?), and believe you me, it was NOT soon enough!

In my humble opinion, the more kids know, about their bodies, about sex, and how to communicate, the better. Knowledge is power.

~rain~

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(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/15/2004 10:05:29 PM

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I definitely started thinking about sex at around age 6-7. As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember playing doctor with some friends, wherein I allowed a male child to pull my skirt up and pull my panties down. He even spanked me because I was a bad girl. I don't know where he learned his behavior, and I don't know how I learned mine, but I know it happened...I remember well, because we got caught and punished for it.

I do know that no one talked with me about sex until I was in the fifth grade. By then, I had learned enough from friends that I knew everything that my dad told me about sex and babies being born except one thing - I didn't know that the baby usually turned upside down and came out of the mother head first. Other than that, I knew everything he told me. I'm 42 now, so I can imagine what my eight year old knows.

I think I'll ask her...grins.

Attachment (1)

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(in reply to Estring)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 5:18:42 AM

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The school is an authority, like a parent. There is a difference between other kids on the playground showing 8 year-olds a Playboy than a teacher doing it.

It is like swearing. I know my kids heard George Carlin's words on the playground from other kids. It is different if they hear Timmy and Suzie say "fucking asshole" than if a teacher says it.

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(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 5:21:29 AM

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quote:

I think I'll ask her...grins.

Interesting conversation. I'm afraid of what my eight year-old daughter knows. I'm even more afraid she'll think it is OK to tell Daddy.

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 6:59:55 AM

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I have 6 children, 2 I adopted at ages 7 & 8- now 22 & 23.

Sex, or anything for that matter has always been an open subject in my home. If they want to talk about something, we do. The oldest boys became "interested" in girls around 12. When we noticed the lotion was always leaving the bathroom and making it's way to thier room, we knew it was time to talk. We explained "sex" the best we could without seeming silly to them, and offered to answer any and all questions they had or ever would. We bought condoms and kept them in a drawer in the bathroom, refilled when they got low. I made it a point to make sure the drawer did not go empty and never ask just who was using all of them. The result with them was they never hesitated if they had a question. They looked at sex more responsably than other kids thier age. The oldest is married and has one child, the youngest still has no children.

Now my daughter was a little different, for me that is. Hard to imagine your baby girl being sexually active, but hey we all gotta face it one day. She is now 16, lost her virginity at 15 to a boy she had been dating for over a year. I offered the same advice to her as to the boys, and also keep condoms around for her. She is also on the patch, a method she chose. We went to the doctor together and all forms of birth control were discussed. She decided against the shots after hearing some of the possible side effects. She felt for her the patch would be the easiest safest method. She does not want children any time soon, or a disease. So she uses the patch and condoms. Her boyfriend had a difficult time with this at first, because afterall he was also a virgin before her. But she explained to him there was no choice, it was both forms of protection or simply no sex. I love that girls mind! ;)

As far as the younger ones go, we have not began discussions. They have not become curious enough yet to broach the subject. I personally would not want them exposed to oral sex classes at school, they are busy being kids. However, if they were becoming interested and needed to know information, we would have those conversations.
I agree and disagree with our schools teaching our children about sex. I agree on the side that many parents do not openly communicate with thier children and someone needs to answer their questions. I disagree in that I feel it is my job as a parent. But, not all parents have the ability to communicate with thier children on the subject. So they have to get the information somewhere, and from teachers is better than on the recess yard.

In a perfect world, all parents would have an open line of communication with thier children, sadly that is not so. And it is possible that one or more of my younger children will not be comfortable having these types of conversations with me. If a teacher can give them the information that they need, and do it in a respectful manner then I hope they do, but I would appreciate being informed of such conversations. Not details, but the fact that the subject is at hand and this is what and how they were told. And I would hope the person doing the talking has an open, honest way of relaying information. And is not condesending of sexual prefrences in case one of mine "differs" from the society conceived "norm". I have to say that because I do believe one of my sons is in fact gay, and I don't want the person he gets his information from to make him feel wrong about who or what he is.

< Message edited by ProDomme -- 5/16/2004 7:04:50 AM >

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RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 7:50:29 AM

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WHOA
WTF?
you all can not be serious ,teaching your kids this? I know this I wouldnt let any one that thought that way near my niece's and nephews.That is just sick. People eonder why BDSM has such a bad name.Look at how pervy your minds are.Do you really want someone teaching your kids anal sex? Or oral? OMFW
OK flame on.I can take it

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 8:05:01 AM

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Hey, I agree with MzIcey. This is bullSh*t! There is NO way in hell it can be right, politically or not, to teach this to any KID. Kids will always have active imaginations, but this isnt something to be encouraged. Hell, I wish sometimes the teens didnt. But at least they are better mentally equipped to understand whats involved. Most anyway. So are adults. CHILDREN being encouraged to do this? Not in My house! I would beat the snot out of anybody teaching that to My neices! I dont want to see any 6,7 8 yo's with that type of mentality. Hell when I was 8, all I cared about was beating My cousins in double dutch..
Im with Her. Flame until you explode. Wont phase Me abit. But the next time you run into some mentally limited idiot who TOTALLY had the wrong idea about D/s and BDSM and you wonder why...remember this post.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzIcey

WHOA
WTF?
you all can not be serious ,teaching your kids this? I know this I wouldnt let any one that thought that way near my niece's and nephews.That is just sick. People eonder why BDSM has such a bad name.Look at how pervy your minds are.Do you really want someone teaching your kids anal sex? Or oral? OMFW
OK flame on.I can take it

(in reply to MzIcey)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 8:29:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzIcey

WHOA
WTF?
you all can not be serious ,teaching your kids this? I know this I wouldnt let any one that thought that way near my niece's and nephews.That is just sick. People eonder why BDSM has such a bad name.Look at how pervy your minds are.Do you really want someone teaching your kids anal sex? Or oral? OMFW
OK flame on.I can take it

Huh? I'm confused. Maybe you and Ebony need to read ALL of the posts before you decide ANYONE on this board is suggesting teaching first graders about oral sex. Most of us are discussing graduated, slow, calm communication regarding SEX according to the child's capacity. Thoughtful and intelligent. Though we may disagree with each other. Nothing sick or pervy about it. Unlike your undignified "WTF".

January

(in reply to MzIcey)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 8:56:51 AM

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Maybe you ought to pay attention january and there would be no confusion.
This is the original post:
"Encouraging schoolchildren to experiment with oral sex could prove the most effective way of curbing teenage pregnancy rates, a government study has found."

Now, I personally dont agree and stated so. Isnt that what these forums are for? To post your OWN PERSONAL opinion? I dont want any young children I know to learn about such matters. They need to be allowed to be kids. Now if you do, thats your issue.
Discussing any issue is fine, as I will always state what I think or believe whether anyone likes it or not.
As far as being 'undignified'..maybe you should use that for ppl like you who single out names. I find that so tacky.
Since you quoted MzIcey, take it up with Her.

(in reply to January)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 9:07:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: January

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzIcey

WHOA
WTF?
you all can not be serious ,teaching your kids this? I know this I wouldnt let any one that thought that way near my niece's and nephews.That is just sick. People eonder why BDSM has such a bad name.Look at how pervy your minds are.Do you really want someone teaching your kids anal sex? Or oral? OMFW
OK flame on.I can take it

Huh? I'm confused. Maybe you and Ebony need to read ALL of the posts before you decide ANYONE on this board is suggesting teaching first graders about oral sex. Most of us are discussing graduated, slow, calm communication regarding SEX according to the child's capacity. Thoughtful and intelligent. Though we may disagree with each other. Nothing sick or pervy about it. Unlike your undignified "WTF".

January

Hun maybe you need to read my post.Where did you get that I said anything about a 1st grader? My undignified WTF.Not in my eyes I call it how I see it.This what your doing is very unbecoming and very child like.If your going to quote me , do so and use what I said, not what you want to hear.I never said anything about a 1st grader.If thats all you have move on baby.

(in reply to January)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 9:27:29 AM

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Actually the original post was a news article. Not one single poster here wrote that, and I don't believe any of them said they encourage gradeschool children to be taught oral sex.

In fact, what I believe is going on here is an adult conversation about a news article. With others giving thier opinions and or expieriences on said subject.

(in reply to MzIcey)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 10:33:16 AM

perverseangelic

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From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyDomme
Hell when I was 8, all I cared about was beating My cousins in double dutch..

but that was YOU. all kids aren't like that. in fact, i feel it's pretty safe to say that a lot of kids DO have a little sexual interest, and some more than a little.

i wasn't advocating SCHOOLS teaching kids about sex, rather, i support parents being open about sex and sexual activity with children, of all ages, at the rate at which those children express interest.

i think the kid needs to be the prompter, in a lot of cases, but also that the parent needs to be aware of the kids maturation too.

ProDomme--
you raised your kids exactly as i hope to raise mine, with open honestly and the idea that sex is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. i applaud you (if i can do that without sounding like a jerk? i'm trying to mean that as a compliment, darn internet without tone of voice)

MzIcy and EbonyDomme--
i think you kinda missed the point of what we were talking about here. honestly, i don't think this conversation has anything to do with BDSM at all. my parents aren't involved, and i was raised in an environment that acknowledge sex as part of life. i think we're just talking here about different ways of conducting children's sexual educations.

i gotta say i reacted very negatively to the strongly judgmental tone of both of your posts, because it seemed unnecessary. notice there's be a LOT of disagreement in this thread and it seems like we've all kept it fairly civil. i understand strong emotions go along with this issue, but i don't understand the need to write so...vitriolicly.

(edited to fix stupid spelling errors)

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 5/16/2004 10:34:46 AM >

(in reply to EbonyDomme)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 10:41:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzIcey
(snipped) ... Look at how pervy your minds are... (snipped)

This thread is not about our pervy minds, but a news article and a government study.

Thank you for your opinion on our pervy minds, and to the other new Domme poster who backs you on your post, and obviously your opinion of our pervy minds.

Since no one here has judged either of you two late bloomer Domme's pervyness anywhere in this discussion, I would consider judgementalism displayed by both of you as indeed being misplaced and "out of context" with the discussion.

I find it interesting that you both jumped into the discussion inviting flames and boasting of your abilities to handle them. Why the concern with backing up your position, especially when you state it "out of context"... and are both so quick to judge/condem/flame others participating in a discussion?

It's very clear to me, and other readers, where the last two clear instances of confusion in this thread exist... in each of your "go ahead and flame me I don't care" posts.

Welcome to the message board to both of you. I look forward to seeing "in context" posts from you both if/when you both stop judging others "out of context".

Inyouagain

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(in reply to MzIcey)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 11:59:54 AM

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I agree. No one is advocating teaching KIDS about oral sex. The original news article was about teenagers being taught this and expressed that this has had postive and negative results. Perhaps you didn't read all of the thread before you invited people to argue. That is not what these boards are about. They are about intelligent conversation and discussion and not about inciting flame wars.

Read the whole thread again and perhaps you will understand why your comments are out of place.

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to January)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/16/2004 5:24:12 PM

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Gee, don't you just love it when a simple misunderstanding leads to name calling?

(Shakes his head an is thankful he is not a moderator [Sorry no emoticon for that.])

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to ModeratorThree)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/20/2004 2:27:20 AM

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this thread is interesting to Me because
in the USA it is still against the law in
sum states to perform oral or anal sex.
The laws in the UK are much more open
and the teachings there as well as sexuallity
thought is much more open then the USA is
and for any of the studies done in the UK to
be of value here the first thing that would
need to be addressed is the laws in place
which puts the acts that would be taught to
kids to no longer be deemed illigal and immoral.
That aint gonna happen any time soon......

I had no desire for My 8 childrens first contact
about sex to be with sumone Out side Our Home
nor with the local schools Teacher and they were
taught every thing that a Parent that was sexually
open could teach them and when the time came
that they were given this lesson in school they
allready knew more then what was being taught
and as typical Dominate children would do, informed
their peers of every thing ELSE.... LOL needless to
say it earned them notes home from the Teacher
whom felt they knew to much as children and were
too informed..Go figgure....They all knew what safe
protection of all kinds were by age 8 when the gurls
started their cycles and the boys started to naturally
gain urges that gave them hardons and the natural
desires to *touch and We to kept all forms of protection
and lotions and books in the cubbard next to the pads
and toliet paper in a semi open place so that it was easy
access and taught nothing to be ashamed of. We was quite
satisfied at Our sexual upbrining of Our 8 children and all
are adults in their 20s now and all single and childless except
for My youngest 21 year old whom choose to have a love
child in her third year of med school with the med student she
adores but states she is not ready for a commitment of marraige
to him even tho he asked to marry her but she felt the need to
have this mans child..... of course I rolled My eyes and told her
I was to young to be a grand mother when she told Me of her intent.
It dident help and she is a new mother this year. My children all started
learning about sexuality from about 3 when they noticed
that the boys had sumthing the gurls dident. Parents not Teachers
should be giving children the life skills they want them to live by.
JMO

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Oral sex Lessons for our kids? - 5/20/2004 6:48:12 AM

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(not really in reply to Dread, I was just too lazy to scroll up)

<---- single male with no children, so give my opinion whatever weight you feel it deserves

Heard on the radio a few months back a story about a poll conducted amongst junior high school students ( they included 6th through 8th grades ) - a majority of the respondents stated that they did not consider oral sex to be sex ( thank you Bill Clinton ) - many of then admitted to setting up and/or attending partys, where the focus would be the exchange of oral sex. Many also stated that they had learned about oral sex 3 or 4 years earlier, which would put them in the 8-9 year old range. So kids are already learning about sex (I refuse to believe that something which has sex in the name of it [oral sex] is not sex) at a young age. To rant and rave that teaching them responsibly about sex and responsibilty is a bad thing is, IMNTBHO, naive and juvenile. And as to 'stealing their childhood', havent you ever heard of 'playing doctor'? Kids are curious, and that includes about bodies and the differences between the sexes and sexuality.

My opinion is that it is the parents responsibilty to discuss, in an age appropriate manner, sex and sexuality with their children and not to leave it up to a techer or the childs friends or someone else.

As a side note - the entire 'birds and bees' discussion that I received came when I passed my drivers licence test - and consisted entirely of my father saying, " first off congratulations. now don't think I'm picking on you cause your brother got the same talking to when he got his license. ......... you keep that thing in your pants where it belongs" end of discussion

granted, I had already 'borrowed' and read my brothers copy of Sex, A Users Manual ( as well as dads Penthouse magazines ), but still - no advice on protection, or anything for that matter ( this was 1984 so aids was in the picture )

again, I have no children so no real life experience to base my opinion on, other than what has happened in my own childhood, but if/when I do have kid(s), this is what I intend to do.

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