RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with?

RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (Full Version)

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orfunboi -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/1/2007 3:10:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69 quote: ORIGINAL: orfunboi Yes, my limits definately depend on who i am playing with. There are very few people i would do blood play with. It depends on how well i know them and what our connection is. So an intimacy on a emotional level is needed rather than a technically savvy level is one that you desire? Actually, both would be needed. How would this relate say to a tattoo or a doctor? Well, i hate doctors and have always been willing to do about anything to avoid a shot, as far as tattoo's, i have several, but they were all done by someone i had scened with. i doubt i would have a stranger tattoo me. Both may be very proficient yet are not involved with you emotionally yet both could be challenging obsticals to some people. Well, i try to be adult about it and go to the doctor when i have to.

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/1/2007 8:39:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justanotheclairemy limits werent things i didnt fancy they were things that would damage me mentally or physically That is the way things should be right? "These go to eleven." Ross

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/1/2007 8:41:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orfunboi quote: ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69 quote: ORIGINAL: orfunboi Yes, my limits definately depend on who i am playing with. There are very few people i would do blood play with. It depends on how well i know them and what our connection is. So an intimacy on a emotional level is needed rather than a technically savvy level is one that you desire? Actually, both would be needed. How would this relate say to a tattoo or a doctor? Well, i hate doctors and have always been willing to do about anything to avoid a shot, as far as tattoo's, i have several, but they were all done by someone i had scened with. i doubt i would have a stranger tattoo me. Both may be very proficient yet are not involved with you emotionally yet both could be challenging obsticals to some people. Well, i try to be adult about it and go to the doctor when i have to. Ever scene with a doctor before? "These go to eleven." Ross

Mercnbeth -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/2/2007 3:42:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69 quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? Master sets the limits. If it was important to this slave to have a set of limits she could call her very “own”, she would self-identify as submissive, not slave, and create particular parameters for any Dom she is in contact with to adhere to. I notice you define yourself in the third person yet you still want something that is yours...don't these things contridict each other in principle? Ross not sure how you are connecting those dots...when did this slave state that she wanted something that was "hers"?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/2/2007 3:46:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69 quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: So with one person a definite RED could be a green go go go right? This slave has done things for Master, at His direction, that she would have, if she had been the one controlling things, insisted on RED and never a green go go go would have been considered. If this slave wanted to retain a certain level of control over her intimate relationship for whatever reason, she would have drawn the line at submissive…to this slave, there IS a difference between the two. It's rather simple- He calls the shots. He decides what limits His slave will have and with who. This slave is expected to, and does, respect Master’s limits. But you have actually defined what will happen as you have consented and decided to having any decision rights correct? Ross how does consent equal defining what will happen?

subrob1967 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/2/2007 6:08:23 AM)
I have 2 sets of limits... Hard, which no one will bend or break Comfort, which depending on how long I'm with the Dominant, change over the course of the relationship.

orfunboi -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/4/2007 4:42:45 PM)
I've scened with someone who dresses like a dr, does that count?

sensualmagirl -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/4/2007 8:26:57 PM)
fast reply I did a lot of searching (after being scared off for a year and then searching again) before I found a Master who has the same hard limits that I do... very few of them, but, we agree nonetheless, makes life much easier for me, as well as made it easier for me to weed through the ones I would have no interest in... I've got some horror stories (as I'm sure some people do) of people pushing my buttons via email and/or IM to see if I'd crack, luckily, I never met any of them.

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 2:17:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth This slave has done things for Master, at His direction, that she would have, if she had been the one controlling things, insisted on RED and never a green go go go would have been considered. If this slave wanted to retain a certain level of control over her intimate relationship for whatever reason, she would have drawn the line at submissive…to this slave, there IS a difference between the two. It's rather simple- He calls the shots. He decides what limits His slave will have and with who. This slave is expected to, and does, respect Master’s limits. But you have actually defined what will happen as you have consented and decided to having any decision rights correct? Ross how does consent equal defining what will happen? State equals desire equals future equals consent. Ross

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 2:22:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subrob1967 I have 2 sets of limits...Hard, which no one will bend or break Comfort, which depending on how long I'm with the Dominant, change over the course of the relationship. So the hard is not a trust issue with you then? Ross

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 2:23:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orfunboi I've scened with someone who dresses like a dr, does that count? No it doesn't I am sad to say. Ross

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 2:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sensualmagirl I did a lot of searching (after being scared off for a year and then searching again) before I found a Master who has the same hard limits that I do... It is human nature to be scared off of something that may be so foriegn to you. It is the survival mode. People are most afraid of what they do not understand. It seems with common sense and communication I am glad it worked out for you. Ross

Mercnbeth -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 7:42:08 AM)
quote: State equals desire equals future equals consent. Sir D, We both don't know how your response answers the question posed; "how does consent equal defining what will happen? " The desire was a blank slate of potential experiences. This isn't on-line where you can claim experience just because you claim a mental state of submission or dominance. Surrendering to your desires is a personal submission. How that is expressed in action is submission in action. It is one thing to strip before a webcam at the instructions of distant request. It is quite another to be sitting in an audience and have your Master volunteer you to be displayed nude for a demonstration in front of that same fully clothed audience. It is no longer personal limit in consideration. You either obey and trust your Master or you don't. If you have to even think about whether you have given consent, your surrender was purely lip service. You better consider the depth of desire before surrendering. It is impossible to know each and every situation that you will encounter in the future. But it is possible to know the person you plan to share those experiences and situations. Trust is the only limit that isn't a situationally moving target. What is "State"?

viperess -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 8:12:20 AM)
Greetings, This has been a very interesting thread to read. When i first started talking to Master before joining Him we talked about likes, dislikes, and limits. For me as i told Him yes there are a couple things i really do not like and would rather not do but for me as a slave it is up to Him to set the limits. Lucky for me they are the same things He does not believe in doing. There were also a couple things that i knew would be hard to do due to past experiences and i knew the first couple times would be hard until trust was built up but once i moved here with Him He was able to take me through them and get me to the place where i now trust Him with my very life. It seems the longer i am in the lifestyle (about 23 years and counting) the more i hear slaves and subs talk about limits and things they will not do. The funny part of it is that most that talk about the limits are one that are only onlime slaves/subs which i guess i am behind the times as far as computers go because before being told about collarme i did not realize you could serve except in person. Guess it is just another example of the changing times. For me real life is the only way to fly. Respectfully, viperess slave of CTDOM4sub

ownedgirlie -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 8:19:19 AM)
~ Fast Reply ~ I can echo beth when I say my Master defines my limits. There was no prenegotiated list before he took ownership of me. I submitted my limits to him, with the trust and hope he would care for his property and not damage me. Since he took ownership of me, most of those things that had previously been on such a "limits list" have all been done now, except for those things which are his limits. There have been things I have requested him to do, which he has said no to, because they are limits of his. There are things we talked about early on as neither of us ever wanting to do...but we do them now, as a result of growing together and wanting to experience them together. So he defines what we do and what we do not do, and this works well for us.

Wildfleurs -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 9:10:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69 Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? What is one person's ceiling is another person's floor right? So with one person a definite RED could be a green go go go right? So does emotional connection make it work or just feeling safe to trust? Ross http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bon_D_Age/members?o=6 They are defined by my owner. I have things that if I were single would definitely be hard limits that aren't the case with him. C~

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 9:25:17 AM)
Good insight indeed. I was not relating to online web based domination though. Ross

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 9:31:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: viperess a couple things that i knew would be hard to do due to past experiences and i knew the first couple times would be hard until trust was built up but once i moved here with Him He was able to take me through them and get me to the place where i now trust Him with my very life. So you might say it was through time that you accomplished pushing your envelope? Ross http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bon_D_Age/members?o=6

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 9:33:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Since he took ownership of me, most of those things that had previously been on such a "limits list" have all been done now, except for those things which are his limits. So how is his ownership defined? Ross http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bon_D_Age/members?o=6

sexyone4you -> RE: Is a limit defined by hard limits or the person you are with? (2/5/2007 9:41:42 AM)
Everyone has limits - Doms & subs. How far a Dom can push my hard or soft limits depends on how much I trust and respect him. If he has shown me that he will do everything in his power to keep me safe, I would work my ass off to give him everything I could.

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