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RE: Serving him too? - 4/13/2007 6:14:31 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I'm glad to see the update was posted. I was beginning to think that I was in a very small minority. I don't have My boys serve My husband. They serve Me. Just a casual reference for an example, My boy is required to fetch My things, but the husband gets his own. Sometimes, the boy will do things, just to be nice, but he doesn't go about lighting My husband's cigarette, just Mine. For Me, it just works better when My husband stays nuetral.

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Post #: 21

RE: Serving him too? - 4/14/2007 12:00:21 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I've been in this exact situation before. It usually doesn't work out well, especially if you're already dealing with a husband that has different expectations of what your Mistress is telling you. He's most likely not going to be comfortable serving with you, and that kind of hints at something I see a lot, and that's the concept of jealousy. I can't tell you how many times I've seen that show up out of nowhere in these unclear situations.

My advice: Clarify this in the open in an atmosphere where NO ONE is submissive, but everyone is able to talk. My first time I addressed this type of case, I was naked, on my knees, and both my Mistress and her husband were clothed and sitting in chairs. Equality in this conversation really wasn't meant to be. It didn't turn out well. The ramifications never really did end either. It took some time to realize that while She was saying that I was never going to be serving him, it wasn't what he was believing all along, even as she was saying it in front of both of us.

It is because of the few times I've been through this that I am practically at the point where I don't want to be involved with a woman who has a husband unless the circumstances are crystal clear about the future, and even then, I may not be all that comfortable, at least not comfortable enough to move forward.

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Post #: 22

RE: Serving him too? - 4/14/2007 2:23:32 AM

MiladyAngelique

Posts: 107
Joined: 8/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSunita

you are beign disrespectful to your Mistress by implying that her husband/partner is not worthy of being served by you. Who do you think you are? you are a slave and must do as your betters command.

Whoa!!!! back up not everyone is comfortable serving someone of a a particular sex. he is doing the right thing sitting down and thinking about before he commits to something he can not deliver.

Womanworshipper, the husband must know the boundaries or you could end up on your knees in front of him. I personally would go out to neutral ground .. maybe a cafe and sought out some key points and set up a rules of the house, then everyone knows where they stand, maybe even try it on a trial basis for 3 months with a back out option for everyone at anytime during that three months.

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Post #: 23

RE: Serving him too? - 4/14/2007 3:11:28 AM

Samwhiplash

Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSunita

you are beign disrespectful to your Mistress by implying that her husband/partner is not worthy of being served by you. Who do you think you are? you are a slave and must do as your betters command.

Wot? Cldnt DISAGREE more !

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Post #: 24

RE: Serving him too? - 4/14/2007 6:21:25 AM

womanworshipper

Posts: 71
Joined: 3/27/2005
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Thanks A/all.

i actually posted my original question some time ago and things have moved on since then (see "Dom/mes with Significant Others"). Madam agreed that She did not want me serving Her husband and told him so. At present W/we relate relatively conventionally to one another when all together but Her husband regularly makes himself scarce to give U/us some space to be explicitly Domme and sub. It's not ideal and W/we are still working out the practicalities but it doesn't look like i am under any pressure to serve him.

Madam would like U/us all to live together as a matriarchal household under Her, but Her husband won't agree to that.

Regarding Ms Sunita's viewpoint, i think it has already been made pretty clear to Her by other members that it is not a commonly accepted one.

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Post #: 25

RE: Serving him too? - 4/14/2007 9:11:34 AM

sjacket

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/4/2004
Status: offline

First let me say that I hope things workout well for all of you.

Second, you recieved some very good advice, and one comment best ignored.

And finally if I may weigh in with a bit of my own experience:
My Owner is married to a Top. I am not expected to serve him, but I do consider him a friend and as such I do dot have a problem with doing little things as clearing his plate when I grab Hers. Things like asking if he woukld like a drink when getting one for Her are more courtesy, rather than "serving" him. I don't know if thinking of it like that would help you or not- but may be a different perspective to try.

Anyway, best of luck to you. I hope you find the happiness I have.

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Post #: 26

RE: Serving him too? - 4/14/2007 1:11:59 PM

womanworshipper

Posts: 71
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

Thank You, sjacket, for Your kind comments.

i agree that the things You mention are just courtesy and i wouldn't have a problem with them.

ww

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Post #: 27