Intrest in pain. (Full Version)

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nella -> Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 4:23:40 PM)

i was wondering. i have an intrest in pain, light spaknkings and be enyoyabel, and a whipping can be exiting and so on. But i am not hugely adicted to it. But i have an intrest in being given pain and then comfort is this normal. I fantasise aboute being hurt quite alot, not for the pain itself, but as a demostration that somone have power over me, and then to be comforted afterwards.

Is this a normal fantasy or am i strange?



MidnightWriter -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 4:35:50 PM)

No, it's not "normal" - and I suspect that you're a tad strange.

But you've just described a very typical interest for someone who comes to collarme.com - and, to be honest, I'm kind of surprised that you'd ask such a basic question after posting here as often as you have.

Is this a case of "I'm gonna ask just to get a conversation going"?



mistoferin -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 4:42:56 PM)

quote:

I fantasise aboute being hurt quite alot, not for the pain itself, but as a demostration that somone have power over me, and then to be comforted afterwards.


Four questions nella,

1-Is the same person in your fantasy causing the pain as the one who is comforting you?
2-Is the fantasy more about the pain or more about the comfort after?
3-Is the pain aspect for yourself or to please another?
4-Is the pain about power one has over you or is the pain generally about punishment?



nella -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 5:18:45 PM)

MidnightWriter. Both actualy. I am curius if this is a normal intrest in BDSM as i dont know alot aboute it, and i am after starting a discussion aboute it.

mistoferin
1-Is the same person in your fantasy causing the pain as the one who is comforting you? yes
2-Is the fantasy more about the pain or more about the comfort after? both actualy, both seam to be inportant parts.
3-Is the pain aspect for yourself or to please another? for myself i guess, it would be a plus if it pleeses the other person to.
4-Is the pain about power one has over you or is the pain generally about punishment? it is aboute power.



mistoferin -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 5:35:38 PM)

quote:

1-Is the same person in your fantasy causing the pain as the one who is comforting you? yes
2-Is the fantasy more about the pain or more about the comfort after? both actualy, both seam to be inportant parts.
3-Is the pain aspect for yourself or to please another? for myself i guess, it would be a plus if it pleeses the other person to.
4-Is the pain about power one has over you or is the pain generally about punishment? it is aboute power.


In light of the responses you gave, I would have to say that it is common that as a submissive, pain does play a role in our fantasies. I think though that as in your other post on the submissive/slave board you are striving to be "normal" according to other people's standards. Well what exactly is normal? I can't answer that question. If anyone else can answer that question I would certainly be interested in the answer also.

I think that you just have get to a place where you are comfortable with yourself, comfortable with your fantasies, your likes and dislikes in this lifestyle and pay less attention on whether or not you fit in to what others consider to be the norm. The only people in your bedroom who have to walk away satisified are you and your Sir.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 7:25:22 PM)


quote:

I fantasise aboute being hurt quite alot, not for the pain itself, but as a demostration that somone have power over me, and then to be comforted afterwards.


U sound like a good normal Sub to me. [;)]



domtimothy46176 -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 9:21:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Well what exactly is normal? I can't answer that question. If anyone else can answer that question I would certainly be interested in the answer also.


Sorry, didn't know you hadn't gotten the memo. I'm normal and everyone else is just a tad bit off. Hope that clears things up. :)
Timothy



NoPinkBalloons -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/4/2005 9:53:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Well what exactly is normal? I can't answer that question. If anyone else can answer that question I would certainly be interested in the answer also.


I know! I know!

Normal = at right angles to the plane.

Well, unless you're a chemist, then Normal = one gram of solute per litre of solution.

See, I knew those thousands of dollars of higher education would pay off at some point. :)



CuteNSassy -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/5/2005 7:50:22 PM)

BDSM is what Y/you make it, no one can tell Y/you what's right or wrong.. It what Y/you and Y/you Sir make it...



chainedgirl -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/6/2005 12:38:05 AM)

What is normal? Normal is a 6 letter word and nothing more. Or as i like to say, everything i'm not! [;)]

i think what you describe nella is pretty usual (nope, not gunna use 'that' word) for many submissives not into pain. There are times when i need to accept pain given by Master because it 'proves' that He is the one in control. i need to take the pain He wants to give me to 'prove' how submissive i am to Him, to prove to both Him and me but no-one else. i find the reality of what W/we do is found more in submitting to things that aren't so nice, than they are to the yummy ones. Everyone sticks around for yummy, only a submissive would stick around and accept icky.



doreiShu -> ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/10/2005 11:50:49 AM)

---



ruffnecksbabygir -> RE: ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/10/2005 12:07:37 PM)

Normal:Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: normal room temperature; one's normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.
Something normal; the standard: scored close to the normal.
The usual or expected state, form, amount, or degree.
Correspondence to a norm.
An average.




sweetpettjenny -> RE: ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/27/2005 11:41:26 AM)

Normal to me is a Master/slave/Sadist / Masochistic relationship and i don't care if it upsets others its my life not theirs.



wetrope -> RE: ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/27/2005 6:14:08 PM)

As a dom I personally would find it inspiring, and fulfilling if a sub was able to express what u just did, that u kind of like the pain. Most times a sub will say she wants to do certain things, but when it happens it is a quick exit because it involves a little pain. So I guess what I'm saying is that it is refreshing to listed to a very honest and open sub, now where did u say u lived. Just kidding, but I do hope your Master appreciates your great gift, and that the make up afterwards is great.



nella -> RE: ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/27/2005 7:48:34 PM)

Thank you, still i feel a bit different from others, becouse most subs describe they either like pain, becouse it is plessure, or just like it becouse it pleeses the Dom. i like it becouse it is a bit exiting, and becouse it make me feel submissive, i do not know, i can not explain it. i do not like being hurt, it hurts, yet i kind of like it to, i do not know how to explain it like i said.



sweetpleaser -> RE: ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/28/2005 5:41:11 AM)

actually, nella, you do not have to explain it at all. Just communicate it to your Sir and be happy.[:)]



nella -> RE: ..defining "normal" (OT) (3/28/2005 5:42:08 AM)

yes i guess you are right sweetpleaser.



jade2use -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/29/2005 2:31:53 PM)

I dont know if it is normal or not, but I think about it alot too. My Master says its normal



harmony3709 -> RE: Intrest in pain. (3/31/2005 10:14:34 PM)

Actually, nella, I think I understand what you are saying about not necessarily enjoying the pain, but that it makes you feel submissive and especially to feel comforted afterward.

While I sometimes enjoy the pain, mostly that will depend on the scene itself, slow warm-up, etc., but I have experienced times where the pain was as you stated -- it was not necessarily fun or enjoyable, but I felt extremely submissive and I felt I was serving my Dom by allowing him to use me that way. The comfort afterward made me feel safe, and felt like his way of letting me know I had pleased him, and that he appreciated me and wanted to take care of me.

This "kind" of pain may not be talked about as much as erotic pain, but I wouldn't worry about whether you are the only one to feel the way you do. That's the one nice thing about forums like these boards, it's a good way to find out you are not the only one with certain feelings or experiences.

harmony




nella -> RE: Intrest in pain. (4/1/2005 4:26:32 AM)

harmony yes that is aboute what i feel. Somtimes a littel pain can be enyoyabel in itself. But mostly, pain is enyayabel becouse it makes me feel submissive and the comfort afterwards make me feel safe and loved.



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