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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 2:18:40 AM

eyesopened

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyBEAST

Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me?

Experience or Common Interests?

Experience: # of years as a Dom/me, # of D/s relationships under the belt, etc.

Common Interests: aside from BDSM, sharing appreciation, interest, and love for things such as art, writing, poetry, same music tastes, fashion, movies, etc.

To me, common interests are important if i want more than a casual play partner. The number of D/s relationship.... well if there were a large number of relationships "under His belt" that would tell me He has a committment problem or some other reasons He can't maintain a relationship. Years of experience is good to know but one can have years of experience that has nothing to do with my interests or needs and then it's moot. i would perfer a Dom who is more experienced than i, because i would like the opportunity to learn and grow.

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 6:12:40 AM

mymasterssub69

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a combonation of both

Daddy has experience being a father-figure (not in a Dom role) to another woman and as Dom however i'm the first daughter-submissive and we both share common interests such as music and certain BDSM activities.

if i was looking for another Dom, i would be looking for similar interests first and experience second.

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 7:27:44 AM

junecleaver

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I have tried to make relationships work without sharing some common interests. Experience just cannot bridge that gap for me. So I would have to choose common interests.

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 7:29:17 AM

asassylilslave

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Having common interests comes before anything else ( for myself anyway ); these interests could cover a wide range of areas though from toys they use to books they read.

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 12:22:14 PM

Celeste43

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Same moral values and life experience. Who cares if he liked to play tennis and I didn't? He could go do that and then come back and let me share in his wins or console him on his losses.

Oddly enough though, a matching sex drive matters a lot. The person with the least interest in a vanilla relationship determines the frequency. This leaves the other person feeling frustrated and unwanted.

But I need it all, common sex and BDSM interests, same morality, same beliefs in what is more important, being in the same life stage and having the same experiences in our pasts so that we can understand each other.

Oh and therapy, people who don't believe in it or won't go to deal with problems are people I don't have the time of day for. You would go to the doctor for physical problems, so go for emotional ones also.

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 1:21:45 PM

Coupleseeking321

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For me its common interests, I have very little experience but my Dom has even less, for us it's incredible to learn and grow together to fumble around and laugh at ourselves like we're both in high school again (not that it was that long ago). Since we have common interests it's very easy to meet both our needs.

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 1:46:28 PM

valeca

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Common interests for me.

# of years experience means nothing without context, and it certainly doesn't mean immediate compatibility for me if someone has X number of years behind them.

Loraith and I began our relationship because of common interests that had nothing whatsoever to do with BDSM. Neither of us was 'looking' for a relationship, and the subject wasn't even mentioned until we were well into a long-term friendship, and felt comfortable enough with each other to share that aspect of ourselves. Imagine our surprise to find we had 'that' in common, as well! While BDSM is a strong foundation in our marriage, if that's all we ever had to talk about, there'd be a lot of silent evenings.

< Message edited by valeca -- 1/30/2007 1:47:09 PM >

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 1:52:52 PM

sensualmagirl

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hmm... being new when I met my Master, for me it was a combination of the two... but, perhaps one complimented the other?

Even though he is a bit younger than I am, he had more experience than I did and was much more comfortable discussing difficult subjects and making him appear at ease with himself. This lead to us having very easy conversations and discussing all kinds of subjects. In turn, I found that I genuinely enjoyed talking to him and we had lots of common interests. So, one, I think, lead to the other... does this make sense to anyone else but me?

But, I think, in the end, it boiled down more to my being attracted to who he is as a person (i.e., his personality, intellect, creative mind, and our common -- sexual and non-sexual -- interests, as well as knowing I could trust him). Well, and his smile

< Message edited by sensualmagirl -- 1/30/2007 2:12:51 PM >

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/30/2007 6:55:16 PM

mellian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Common interests are more important to me, along with similar or close to similar values, philosophies on life, etc.

Same for me along with the general compability of personalities.

-mellian

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RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/31/2007 1:42:55 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

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Definitely common interests, but with one of them being certainly 24/7- TPE. Also similar backgrounds and intellectual level is important.

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