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RPutnamJr -> RE: Punishment, and how you choose to apply it. (2/17/2007 4:53:16 AM)
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I agree that punishments should fit the crime. And never to enforce punishments when angry.
In order to punish one must know the cause of the infraction. After all how can you punish one if you have not taught them properly. Best to punish the teacher for being a bad teacher.
You cannot also punish in a way that reinforces the behavior that caused the punishment in the first place. After all if you spank someone who loves spankings then is that truely punishment?
Punishing a slave/submissive is just like punishing a child. You can be quick with the punishment or slow...depending on how much anxiety their own mind will cause thinking about what they have done and the punishment that awaits them for their infraction. You can sometimes just give them a look...especially if the look gives them the sense of sadness of disappointing you. Other times they need a talking to...after all if they do not know what they did is bad...then you need to be able to tell them and why in order to correct their future behavior.
Removing privilages and things they like is sometimes effective. After all if a child really likes dessert and you take that away when everybody else has it then that can be a punishment. Or take away their make-up, brush, whatever if they are vain about their appearance...after all dessert wouldn't work if they are on a diet. Just have to find something they enjoy alot and take it away from them...then make sure they don't sneak it back before the punishment is done.
Or you can go about rewarding good behavior. I always gave my dogs a small treat when they came in from outside. All I'd have to say to get them to come inside was...anyone want a treat? They would come running. Thus with good training, same as a dog, you can also get good results without punishing bad behavior by reinforcing good behavior. Just don't get into the habit of one upping yourself when rewarding and make sure the reward is appropriate. After all if you reward less the next time then it may not be as effective as a deterrant for bad behavior the next time.
And yes I have found that sometimes kindness can be just as bad a punishment at times...especially when they know they do not deserve your mercy...especially when they are spoiled rotten by that kindness. Makes them feel sooooo guilty for being bad and naughty.
Sometimes its better just to drop everything and give into their needs and wants. I learned that with my son, who was four and being naughty. I gave him a quick spanking and a talking to, but he continued to be naughty. Eventually I just dropped everything and just gave him the attention he needed, afterwards he was a good boy again. All he needed was my attention and love.
So my suggestion is to learn about your sub/slave...find out why they act inappropriately. And then vary your punishments/rewards so as to fit the situation to best meet their needs and thoughts. Then you may correctly administer what you feel is appropriate to the situation, even if it is to punish the teacher...remember the saying...this is going to hurt me worst than you. After all failure by them is sometimes a failure in yourself.
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