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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 6/9/2007 5:17:57 PM   
Griswold


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(GAWWWWWD....I may be entirely too eager).

(I'll shoot myself now).

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 6/9/2007 5:20:07 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


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quote:

Why are so few women interested in cuckolds?


because they can't find goot porn these days

LOL


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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 6/14/2007 5:47:04 AM   
Saffron


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For me, I dislike feeling like I am acting like some "fantasy provider" to the cuckold.  Most men I've spoken to interested in this arrangement want details and "to watch" and they want some humiliation language to go along with it.  None of that appeals to me.  And any partner that I had who got off on doing that to my slavehubby, would also piss me off.  It feels disrespectful *to me* though I recognize it is a fantasy/fetish for some people.  To each their own.

Another reason I've never wanted that sort of dynamic is because when I am fucking my partner, it is personal.  I might on occasion feel like sharing a detail but in general, I don't.  I don't want/need an audience.  I like to direct that energy to that person.  I am in a poly relationship and yet I don't feel my husband/slave is a cuckold.  We have our own intimate times.  I don't give him details (nor does he ask or care to ask) and I treat my two relationships as two separate relationships.  I don't think that Raven and I would even be interested in being sexually intimate in front of my slavehubby.  It's just not my thing.

~Saffron

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 6/29/2007 5:19:35 PM   
GoddessBeauty


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In my profiles, I put cuckoldry as an interest.  Sometimes it opens the doors to be able to find out just where someone is mentally with the whole poly way of thinking and sometimes it eliminates some potential candidates who might not fully understand what I am seeking.
I have had males who ONLY talk about what their kink is with the lifestyle without asking what I might be seeking and already place judgment on what I seek.  So those of you who say society has placed a "taboo" way of thinking with cuckoldry - I fully agree. 


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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 6/29/2007 6:47:03 PM   
meticulousgirl


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personally as a slave I wouldn't want a Master and someone else to be in a relationship, for me because i have a genuine need for commitment i would feel as though i would have to make a choice and potentially hurt someone else. 

it may not be the intent of this post i just dont forsee a relationship working out all that well if someone else is controlling it in more ways than one.  I agree with L.A. when she says that it's just totally not appealing. It's that simple.

~meticulous~

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 6/30/2007 12:03:13 PM   
Grlwithboy


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I cuckold but for many of the reasons stated above I am not interested in someone based on whether he's into that or not. I simply explain that my sexual relationships remain at my discretion and if a person thinks they will be the only sexual liaison I have they are deluding themselves at the outset. How I proceed is up to me. Sometimes it does involve involvement, humiliation, participation etc. but more often it does not. It comes as a part of an overall powerplay package, not as a monolithic and defining characteristic.


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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/1/2007 1:27:46 AM   
becca333


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I'm into the idea of mutual pleasure - serving him gives me so much joy, and the things he does to me are purely amazing.  It all matches so well.  Cuckolding sounds like I'd be used against my own desires purely for his kink, and that doesn't do much for me.  I want a Dom who cares about my feelings as well as his own.

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/5/2007 3:03:19 PM   
LilyRedd


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I believe that is the old English variation. Out of laziness I will not research it. 

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/6/2007 7:30:26 AM   
Laure


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My husband loves to watch - is he a cuckold?  or a voyeur?  And when we had our Other with us, was he being cuckolded?  or entertained? 

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/8/2007 2:22:01 AM   
sosniagara


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As others have suggested I suspect it's because the cuckold is more into it for *him* rather than her.

*He* wants her to sleep with other men. *He* wants to watch. *He* wants to eat creampies.

If I was in a 24/7 bdsm marriage with a woman I would fully expect she would hav the right to date others, even to have a live in equal as a partner however I wouldn't keep bringing up the idea to her or asking them to watch (if she did decide to do it).

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/8/2007 10:21:58 AM   
GoddessBeauty


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My husband loves to watch - is he a cuckold?  or a voyeur?  And when we had our Other with us, was he being cuckolded?  or entertained? 



It depends on your relationship with him?  There is no "one" definition of being cuckolded.  Women mold their men as they want. 
There are many many variances to a cuckold relationship.  Another reason I enjoy this lifestyle! 

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/8/2007 2:39:55 PM   
VeryMercurial


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Because most cuckolds are actually very needy and demanding. 

And maintaining relationships with two people, specially when one of them seeks to fill some "hole" rather than be an integral part of the relationship in which their cuckoldry is just one aspect of that relationship, is really not that glamorous or beneficial.


I agree with what LA said here.
I have found most cuckolds and cross dressers to be some of the neediest
creatures on the earth.

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/8/2007 8:11:33 PM   
Runs2deep2002


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I find it interesting that while many couples have their arguemental periods be they vanilla or otherwise some seek to bring in a 3rd party.  Certainly we all probably hope and wish for the most delightful and happy times together.  I've read posts blasting one partner of a relationship for seeking solice with an outside party as well.  Certainly there are runners, players and cheaters but I was amazed to see postings in this lifestyle forum that pointed the finger of those people who do not have the join of their spouse being as excited in a D/s relationship.  It certainly is apparent that most of the folks in this forum do have a strong interest in D/s and I would have though some could understand the latent desires that for many years go unattended or realized.  Then again I suppose as a bit of a sub if your partner wasn't interested in that lifestyle or activity then the sub is really being subbed more or less to the max.  There is a vein that runs to the side of committment between two people.  Refering to a cuckold type of relationship sure you might play into the subs hands if that is something the sub may enjoy.  It would probably be most benificial if both parties in the relationship share the interest.  I can say I wouldn't mind the cuckold thing but then reality and personality play a major part as well as a certain amount of insecurity once a 3rd is introduced into the mix.  Were I to be a sub in a cuckold relationship I would hope that any humilition, domination or anything else were done under a couple's understanding between themselves.  I certainly would prefer that the other party did not disrespect me or my partner for that matter.  But then again it IS D/s and under that flag perhaps some crude remarks or humilition from both the dominant and the 3rd party might be expected.  I imagine or at least from the posts in the old Penthouse and Forum magazines that cuckoldry takes on many forms and its probably best that there is a bit of agreement between all.  Then again IT IS D/s so depending on the sub and the dom/me I guess that one activity can take on many different forms and styles.  If your talking complete obedience and submission and that is where the sub space is then it strickly takes on the desires of the dom/me. 
    I also find it interesting that some folks would abhore the introduction of a 3rd party but yet since they are sub the dom/me rules the roost.  It really is just about on the same line as a swinging couple bringing in another person.  Peace and harmony as well as excitement is the intention but how many of us know folks that did this and later could not handle it.  And...then we get to a Poly lifestyle where more than two people are trying and in some cases making it a success.  I guess the benifit of a cuckold situation would be that the 3rd party joins in and hopefully a good time is had by all whereas in a Poly situation that person is always there for the most part and always included in the arrangement at least to a certain degree.  But it is a heady situation with all of this be it a straight marriage or a commune type of arrangement.  We're all going to feel bad, left out and nobody is always going to be smiling happy faces.  The thing that pulls any relationship together is the respect for each other and the fact that each individual can depend on the other/s.  I guess we are all trying to achieve total happiness in our minds but the reality of the rest of the world outside, the situations that are always going to pop up to burst our balloons and the differences will not always be going everyones way and there are rough times that everyone in any relationship are going to have to cope with.  My heart goes out to the folks in here that are experiencing health concerns.  That is just one more pothole in the road of life and I admire the spouse and supporters that are there to give aid and comfort to their spouse when the healt problems arise.  And I guess that is basically what a relationship is about.  It's not weather your straight, vanilla, total off the wall it's just that your their for each other in the worst time of needs. 
    I hear strick protocal and roles and some are pretty stringent while reading other posts I see flexability and the portion of the D/s lifestyle as just another occasional hobby to be enjoyed.  Like all interests of people some will remain in the path of this lifestyle while I think others will (excuse the word) deviate to another interst and some people will end up not getting along and will leave to form another relationship.  These are just some of my views.  Your views may vary.  Views not good in certain states and are subject to change without notice.  Tax, tag and title not included.  Void where prohibited etc etc.
    From spending a couple days in reading the message boards I've learned some and I've laughed some and a few times I got real worried.  The posts with the glue gun sticks to my mind. 
    I wonder how many people in this forum are active and real versus as opposed to the posters who live vicariously (sp) through their questions and reading through these posts.  Very interesting.  Long live difference and the right to be different.  I hope you all don't agree because then there is no difference in that matter.  At any rate it sure is better than hearing about a 12 and 10 year old kidnapping the neighbors baby.  Now that is scarry. 
   

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/10/2007 11:15:24 AM   
LilyRedd


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You briefly mentioned swinging in your very...very...very very long, though enjoyable, post. Being part of both communities (and I've never met another) I'll enlighten you, with my very limited view point.
The difference between swinging and bdsm cuckoldry:
Swinging-absolute mutual respect for all, both partners (the spouses) must be into it, they don't label, much less drama (unless you get involed with a couple who are two seconds from leaving the lifestyle, then run, the tornado of doom will suck you in), play time is vey temporary, boring sex is the norm, sex is eventually expected.
BDSM-if you're not in my group I might attack you (especially true about us slutty switches), my spouse can love it or leave it if I domme, labels for everything, play is intended to be long term though rarely is, much more kinky, either has no limits whatsoever or so many your head spins, can involve no sex whatsoever.  

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/13/2007 5:27:01 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Laure

My husband loves to watch - is he a cuckold?  or a voyeur?  And when we had our Other with us, was he being cuckolded?  or entertained? 


I'm not entirely sure...he may just be a perv...however, be that as it may...if he's unavailable...I could be persuaded to watch (of course, in his absence).

I'm here to help.

(I'm a giver...sue me).

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/13/2007 7:04:00 PM   
LadyPact


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Forgive My snipping of the entire post.  It was just too long to reprint.[

quote:

ORIGINAL: Runs2deep2002

Certainly there are runners, players and cheaters but I was amazed to see postings in this lifestyle forum that pointed the finger of those people who do not have the join of their spouse being as excited in a D/s relationship



Why does this surprise you?  The character traits of honesty and integrity with one's spouse is usually a good indicator if they are going to have honesty and integrity (which help to breed trust) in a D/s dynamic.  That's why many Dommes, like Myself, won't touch a married submissive male with a ten foot strap on.  When I clicked on your profile, it was only to confirm that you are a married man, playing without your wife's consent.

quote:


 
I imagine or at least from the posts in the old Penthouse and Forum magazines that cuckoldry takes on many forms 
 

 
I tend to believe that literary material has as much validity as some of the lower end BDSM porno flicks. 
 
quote:



Peace and harmony as well as excitement is the intention but how many of us know folks that did this and later could not handle it. 



Can't speak for everyone here, but We handle it very well.  It's part of the reason that I'm still here.
 
quote:



Poly situation that person is always there for the most part and always included in the arrangement at least to a certain degree.  



Not always.  Some poly situations exist where not everyone is in the same physical household.

quote:


 
I wonder how many people in this forum are active and real versus as opposed to the posters who live vicariously (sp) through their questions and reading through these posts.  
  


Again, can't speak for everyone, but there are many of Us who have met other members of CM at events, play parties, or privately.  There are some of Us on these boards who are exactly who We say We are, though there are plenty who are not.

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/23/2007 6:28:13 AM   
UpstateNY607


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I think it is most likely just the fact that most women(straight more so) have a monagamous nature so the idea of multiple partners doesnt appeal to them.  Also I think that most women believe sex and love shouldn't happen one without the other.  

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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/24/2007 11:58:47 PM   
GoddessBeauty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UpstateNY607

I think it is most likely just the fact that most women(straight more so) have a monagamous nature so the idea of multiple partners doesnt appeal to them.  Also I think that most women believe sex and love shouldn't happen one without the other.  


I disagree.  
Most women do not have a monagamous nature..... they have only become domesticated from society and its "training" thus keeping them "good" girls.


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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/25/2007 5:02:56 PM   
Stephann


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilyRedd

You briefly mentioned swinging in your very...very...very very long, though enjoyable, post. Being part of both communities (and I've never met another) I'll enlighten you, with my very limited view point.
The difference between swinging and bdsm cuckoldry:
Swinging-absolute mutual respect for all, both partners (the spouses) must be into it, they don't label, much less drama (unless you get involed with a couple who are two seconds from leaving the lifestyle, then run, the tornado of doom will suck you in), play time is vey temporary, boring sex is the norm, sex is eventually expected.
BDSM-if you're not in my group I might attack you (especially true about us slutty switches), my spouse can love it or leave it if I domme, labels for everything, play is intended to be long term though rarely is, much more kinky, either has no limits whatsoever or so many your head spins, can involve no sex whatsoever.  


Hi Lily,

Having been involved in both groups as well, I agree with you for the most part.  Yet, generalizations are usually defied by individuals.  People are quick in all walks of life to draw a line between 'me' and 'you' whether it's based on fear of the unknown or bad experiences.  I remember well reading swingers ads where 'No BDSM or kinky need apply' was clearly stated; usually because it wasn't well understood by the people writing it.

I think we know where the roots of this fear is; demonizing sex is a way to control people.  Because we're not supposed to be comfortable talking about it, we never really learn about 'other' ways to enjoy it.  BDSM groups, in offering labels and meanings behind what we do, are often quick to portray certain activities and interests as 'good' or 'bad' when there's really no need.

I think the real key is at the end of LA's posts; find stable partners, not a stable of partners.  I've found the best lovers are brilliant lovers; I I learned not to have sex with stupid people as a result, and have rarely been dissappointed since.

Stephan


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RE: Why are so few women interested in cuckolds? - 7/25/2007 5:12:33 PM   
Stephann


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessBeauty

quote:

ORIGINAL: UpstateNY607

I think it is most likely just the fact that most women(straight more so) have a monagamous nature so the idea of multiple partners doesnt appeal to them.  Also I think that most women believe sex and love shouldn't happen one without the other.  


I disagree.  
Most women do not have a monagamous nature..... they have only become domesticated from society and its "training" thus keeping them "good" girls.



So we ask ourselves if it's nature or nurture that encourages monogamy?

Women are generally 'feeling' oriented in the first place.  They tend to buy things, make things, and do things because of how they feel, not how they think.  Thus, emotion play a huge role in relationships, sexual or otherwise. 

I think the lack of interest in cuckholding tends to draw from that love.  Generally, cuckholding (as I understand and have seen, read, and experienced) is not about the woman enjoying another man; MFM threesomes are more akin to swinging as we've already seen mentioned.  Rather, cuckholding is about the woman enjoying another man in a way she would not or can not enjoy with her lover/primary.  In a common form, it's on par with humiliation for the cuck; he isn't physically large enough, powerful enough, et al to please his woman.  In another similar form, it's almost a masochistic desire to not only have his woman be with another man, but to rub his face in his shame by doing it in person.  This can be taken a step further, adding up to his own debasement and expressing his subserviance to his woman; being commanded to perform fellatio on the bull, for example (an act he finds repulsive; this doesn't even begin to address possibly latent homosxual tendencies that, if they exist, only make the situation even more emotionally and psychologically complicated.) 

All of this, like it or not, is in the cuck's head.  It requires a very specific type of circumstances that, while I'm sure happen occasionally naturally, are simply not common.  Because there are so many self-destructive and relationship inhibiting factors, such an arrangements simply don't usually last long term. 

But that's just my spin on it.

Stephan


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