"a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (Full Version)

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prettichinadoll -> "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 7:46:43 PM)

Well, I read that sentence a lot in profiles. Many doms say "a submissive should know her place!" and I ask, what is a submissive's place? at your feet right from the beginning even before they know you, even before you earn their respect, even before you earn the right to have them willingly kneel at your feet?

I would presume a profile is for people who doesn't know me, is a place to introduce myself. Unless a profile is specifically written for someone, it should be respectful to the general readers.

So even as a submissive, I don't appreciate the words such as "I demand respect!" or "You should know your place, slut!" or "a submissive should always kneel..." and such. Before a submissive make her decision to submit, she is just as much as a person as any dom (i think even a submissive submit to a dom, she's still as much as a human being as her dom or any dom, but i know some people don't agree with me on that). So i think, a submissive's place in front of a dom, whom she hasn't made the decision to submit, should be equal. She should be respected the same way the dom respect any other person, submissive or not.

Want to know how you guys think about this.



Wulfchyld -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 7:48:39 PM)

As a submissive your place should be detailed by your D.



Devilslilsister -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 7:50:37 PM)

kneeling on rice and playing with tah tahs



catize -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 7:53:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

As a submissive your place should be detailed by your D.

Exactly!  How do I know if he doesn't tell me?  My place is where master says it is. 



BitaTruble -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 7:59:38 PM)

An unowned submissive is where she chooses to be. If she wishes to place herself at the feet of every Dom, Dick and Hairy, then that's her perogative. If she wishes to place herself on a pedastle and wait for a God to snatch her into Heaven, that, too, is her perogative.

If a submissive is owned, then her place is whatever her Master and she agreed to prior to ownership. For some, that means her place is always kneeling to anyone her Master tells her to kneel before ... for others it means they only kneel to their own Master. There are more flavors than Baskin-Robbins has ice cream. :)

Celeste



toservez -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 7:59:48 PM)

The real answer is a slave’s place is what and where their Master wants them.

The answer to people who use that in their profile is that it is out of the book of how to write a generic profile under the section must establish your dominance and infinite wisdom in your profile and do this by spurting clichés like this. :)





RavenofPK -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:09:22 PM)

Ahhhh..........but what if you have no "Master"? Do you all of a sudden "do whatever you wish, and the hell with your preceived place"?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:23:58 PM)

A person who puts that in their profile is showing to most people that they have a "one true way" about them and will be very distasteful to enjoy discussion with.

To the people who get turned on by that sort of talk, they will flock like moths to a flame.



reamer -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:25:54 PM)

I think that the OP is submissive to a journalistic and/or writing career rather than a sexual submissive, based on the threads started where prettychinadoll does not reply to people asking her questions back, but hangs back and sees what fruit falls from the tree.



Wulfchyld -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:28:13 PM)

I dont think there is anything wrong with that. If you consider that a lot of people get torn to shreds when they reappear on their threads, she may just be cautious.



catize -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:36:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

Ahhhh..........but what if you have no "Master"? Do you all of a sudden "do whatever you wish, and the hell with your preceived place"?


If I am unowned, if I am not in a D/s or M/s relationship, I do whatever I want or need to do in order to take care of myself. 



DiurnalVampire -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:36:03 PM)

I agree that the dominant has to define the place before a submissive can know what that place is.
from my profile: I choose submissive men becasue I prefer the interactions with someone who understands their place and mine, and doesnt feel it necessary to challenge those places.
 
Once that place is established, I dont want t constantly redefine it. However, until I meet someone, I dont expect them to already know it.

My 2 cents.
DV



mstrjx -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:39:05 PM)

To me, 'place' isn't a location, or a position, at all.

It's about where one's headspace is.  Having the attitude and/or emotions of a submissive or a slave.  Knowing one's place means understanding how to interact with the Dom(me)/Master/Mistress.

But even there, it is subjective to the whims of the D-type.

Jeff



MASTERSTEEL -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:47:08 PM)

A sub or slaves place is where their master or mistress wants them to be...steel



RavenofPK -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:47:47 PM)

And that is where a lot of the difficulties lie. For the true test of a submissive is how she behaves when no one is watching, no just when she is owned, or around dominant men. Submissiveness is not a job description, or a part time thing. All or nothing. You either are all the time, or you are not, all the time.



Wulfchyld -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:49:02 PM)

After putting some real thought into this and spinning the dial... I say "Right Hand on Blue!"



SeveredNeuron -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:53:18 PM)

I agree with the OP, its very hard to firstly respect someone who automatically assumes that you will do anything they ask the very first minute you meet.
From my experience, most Doms who have approached me at least do not seem to understand that I cant follow orders from someone who i neither know nor respect.
Even when they seem to have a slight understanding of this, they still assume that just because i have agreed to converse with them, they are somehow magically on a Dom waiting list for me, just waiting for the time i am comfortable enough to do what they wish.
Respect should be earnt rather then demanded, and hopefully 'true' (whoever or whatever they are) Doms understand this.
:)

--Ania




catize -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 8:59:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

And that is where a lot of the difficulties lie. For the true test of a submissive is how she behaves when no one is watching, no just when she is owned, or around dominant men. Submissiveness is not a job description, or a part time thing. All or nothing. You either are all the time, or you are not, all the time.

If I was submissive to every male in the universe that would make me exhausted and late for work a lot. 
Guess I'd flunk your 'true test o' submission', but for some strange reason, that doesn't concern me at all. 



juliaoceania -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 9:01:52 PM)

quote:

So i think, a submissive's place in front of a dom, whom she hasn't made the decision to submit, should be equal. She should be respected the same way the dom respect any other person, submissive or not.


Absolutely agree with that.


It is rather simple for me, my place is what I say it is until I submit, and then it is where he says it is....



RavenofPK -> RE: "a submissive should know her place"...what is a submissive's place? (2/3/2007 9:03:08 PM)

Let me clarify:

Submissive does not mean sexual or servile. It simply means deferrent. It's hardly rocket science. I have found that the most difficult task a "self-proclaimed" submissive can do is hold her tongue. It's amazing at how often that very simple act can diffuse any possible misunderstanding.

Serve well.



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